Keys

August 13, 2014 Keys. We all have them. Some are for our homes. Others are for our cars. Lockers, desks, filing cabinets. Safes. Ahh, the safes. The places we keep our treasures--both of material and sentimental value. Let's explore these holding places for a moment, shall we? When I was a kid, I had a trunk. You know those kind that were cheaply made but many of us had? They came with a lock but if one was smart, one added a padlock of some sort so that it could not be easily broken into, which unfortunately I didn't have at this stage of the game. The lock that was affixed to my trunk could truthfully be opened with a good knife or clothes hanger. I also had a diary. Same concept. It came with an itty bitty lock on it that had this minuscule key that somehow was supposed to convince the writers that their secrets were safe as long as no one else had access to the key. Well, I don't know about you but I had two nosy sisters and one bratty brother when I grew up. This fact caused me much reason to fear and guard my privacy! I kept those keys close to my heart. Literally. I made a necklace that I kept both keys on so that my siblings did not have easy access to my most sacred thoughts and possessions that I innocently and reverently wrote about in my diary and stored in my trunk. Some people used to bury their worldly savings. Hiding things under mattresses, making time capsules to bury in the backyard, and stashing away money in the barn or under a rock or what have you was often common for those who mistrusted the banks. Old coffee cans were sometimes also places of hiding special monies. Folks could get quite creative in the endeavor to hide the things they valued most. So, what about the things we have hidden in our hearts, in our minds, in our souls? What things are buried deeply within the recesses of our most private parts that perhaps have been corrupted with mold, tarnished by truths that have lessened their values but yet we still refuse to part with? What about those memories that have bound us for years because we have refused to let them see the light of day and have not allowed ourselves to take them out of their hiding spots? Afraid, perhaps, that the light might actually reveal their true worth rather than the value we have (falsely?) placed on them? Yesterday, I was rummaging about in on older filing cabinet and found some letters that had been written to me. One-- from my niece Jill--caused me to laugh out loud as she pondered some of the things going on in her life. Another was from my sister Mary who had written about how she really loved me, valued me, and how my family and I were the only ones she believed loved her in return. Bittersweet words. And then, later in the day, there were the emails in my computer files that I glanced over as I went to an old account that I rarely use while searching for some log in information for Lowe's. Digital letters from my mother were there, begging me to open them and if I would, they promised to bring alive feelings that really just don't need to be reawakened. The old me would have read them and bled over them but the new Stef? Ahh, the smarter Stef realized I didn't need to be a prisoner of my past. The devil would have loved nothing more than to damage my calm and reopen wounds that are still healing. As my hubby is so fond of saying, "You just have to be smarter than what you are working with." I don't dare to say I am smarter than Satan but this time, this time, I made the conscious, concentrated choice to not go back to the prison of negativity and despair. The key was in my hand and I decided to not open that door, to not be chained once again to a past that I cannot change. I found the information I needed for Lowe's and I returned to my regularly scheduled programming that did not involve walking down Memory Lane. In conclusion, like The Eagles sang, "I'm already gone. And I'm feeling strong. I will sing this victory song: Woo Hoo Hoo. Woo hoo hoo!" I don't have to be enslaved to things of my past that only hurt me. I don't have to keep those keys close to my heart and be a masochist. I don't have to live my life in chains. Jesus Christ set me free and He whom the Son has set free is free indeed. He broke the bonds of prison for me. Yes, the devil is not happy about this and I am just so sure he will attack again. And again. He wants me in bondage but with Christ in me, I have the key. The choice to either open up those painful doors of regret, shame, and hurt or to leave them locked up, impenetrable, and remain in love and peace is mine. Guess which one I chose? Dear Lord, What a wonderful Saviour You are. Saved me from my past, from my haunts and hurts, from my feelings of inadequacy, from the dysfunction I faced for so long. You gave me the power through Your love to make better choices, to have second, third, and eightieth chances. You saved me from sin and darkness and brought me into the light, into Your light. Thank You, Jesus! I can indeed do all things through Christ Who strengtheneth me. Hallelujah and oh what a Saviour! I love You, Lord. Thanks for loving me first and teaching me what real love is. You are the best! Amen.