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September 1, 2014 Heavy sigh. Deep breath. Fingers flexed. Another sigh. I think I can do this. Breathe. Again. Eyes closed in silent prayer, one more sigh, and...Here we go! Saturday was the reunion date for my elementary school. It started well enough and truthfully ended well. Even the in-between moments were pretty good. Twelve of the remaining twenty-eight of us were there and the ones who weren't able to attend were missed. Almost each of us brought some sort of family with us so, all-in-all, there were probably around thirty folks there. The weather was pleasant and we sat around the playground (not the one we had grown up on) on chairs and on the ground as we chatted, reminisced, and caught up with each other. Everyone seemed pleased to see the others. There was one of our former teachers who came and it was a joy to see her (even if she did think I was my sister at first). Not everyone arrived at the same time so it was pleasantly calm and unharried to catch up individually with the ones who meandered in. Of course there were a few tears as some of us talked about those whom we have lost. For some, it was parents. Others it was siblings, husbands, and some even had lost children of their own. But overall, the atmosphere was one of camaraderie and cheer. And then... And then there were the inevitable personal questions asked of me, such as how was my brother, my other sister. "What? You don't talk to them? You haven't seen them in years? Doesn't he still just live down the road?" Their simple questions turned into ones of doubt and confusion as I tried to explain without going into detail about how after my dad had died six years ago--and Mary following a mere four weeks later--that we grew further apart rather than pulling together. "But your mom has only been gone a couple of years now, right?" Yeah. Two years on September 3, to be concise. "She was always so sweet to me." "Was she," I asked, with just a touch of longing in my voice that caused them to look curiously at me. A tad uncomfortable, the topic then changed to my brother. Surely this one would get a better response, they thought. Until... "So, how's Billy? What's he up to these days?" Sigh. Trying to sound positive. "I don't know. I've not seen him in two years." "You haven't seen Billy since then?!" they asked in disbelief and mortification. They didn't know how hurtful their questions were as I tried to breeze through them as though it didn't matter. They didn't know that families do in fact fall apart and don't love you unconditionally. Not totally, anyways. Sure, some of them had had one or two black sheep but I don't think any of them were actually that rejected one themselves. The one not welcomed back to the fold. Where was Jesus at in all of this, anyways? He was there. He was there way back when all of the dysfunctions began and He is still here now. Agreeing to disagree is not exactly the phrase I'd use but...sometimes folks just have to part ways. Paul and Barnabas did, as well as Jacob and Laban. Not everyone is happy when this occurs but...sometimes love just isn't enough to allow folks to live peacably amongst each other. Sometimes-no matter how much it hurts and no matter how you wish it could be different--sometimes you just have to separate for the greater good. For your sanity, for your peace, for your soul's sake. It doesn't mean God doesn't care or that one was right over the other. It doesn't mean the love ended. It maybe just means that it doesn't have to hurt so much and therefore separation is the best road to take. It might not be the one you would have chosen but thankfully--hopefully!!--it isn't you who had to make that choice. Our journeys in life are different and the choices each of us make can't always please the majority. What's right in one's eyes isn't necessarily so in another's. And keep in mind that there are at least two sides to each story. Try not to judge, not to hear only half-truths, and try to love those--like me--whom you don't always understand. If you have questions, ask. Just be prepared though for answers you may not like. Sometimes they can change your whole thought process and either clear things up or make them muddier than before. Perhaps you are better off not knowing at all. There are many things I would like to unknow (is that even a word?)! Let's pray! Dear Lord, in a world where the roses don't always bloom and often have too many thorns to even make one want to stop and smell them, beauty still exists. Kindness is still offered. Growth--once weeds and bugs are removed--still goes on. And isn't that one bloom worthy of being noticed, of being cared for, of being cherished? Help us today, I pray, to be more sensitive to stories we may have heard and made false assumptions about. Help us to seek the truth but only if we are able to handle it. Some things truly are no one's business but others? Others Lord indeed need both sides to be made known in order for unity and truth to prevail. It isn't Your plan for Your children to be separated. Help us, Father, to love each other more than ourselves is my prayer, asked in the name of Jesus. Amen.