You've Got A Friend...Right?

Do you have a prayer partner and/or group, a church, or maybe even an online buddy that you go to when the chips are down and you are out of dip?  Or maybe you call on this/these soul(s) when you really need someone to speak to God on your behalf.  Even though you may not have had contact with this one for a while, when the help is needed, you know just where to go to find assistance.

Last week in the Bible Study Class I go to, Susan asked at the end if there were comments, questions, or maybe a challenge anyone wanted to make.  Without much hesitation--and because I am so in need of it--I challenged my girls to write me a prayer.  “Write,” I said, “because when you take the time to put it on paper, it gives you the opportunity to really think about what and whom you are praying for.  Write,” I said, “because when you just type it, it doesn’t take the effort to show you are giving this more than just a quick thought.  Write,” I said, “because--even though your handwriting may be awfully hard to read and your words may not be discernible--it makes you slow down and focus.”  I can’t wait to see what they come up with!

I later mentioned this to my hubby and challenged him to do the same.  Imagine my delight when the very next day, he wrote me a prayer!  Of course, being the grammar Nazi that I am, he cautioned me that it hadn’t been edited too closely.  Twirp!  Anyways, he handed it to me and I asked that instead, he read it to me.  Talk about getting personal!  But, there’s just something about hearing as well as reading something that can be quite effective.

As the (at first) sweet words came from Steve’s mouth, my heart warmed and I was humbled at how much this man still loves me.  I noted how he used one of my favorite passages in his prayer and was tickled that he took this into consideration for his prayer for me.  And then…

And then the next words.  “And Lord help her to think before she speaks and consider before she acts.”  I beg your pardon, Steve?!  My flesh was just about to get itself in a dander when my soul flooded with gratitude.  Yes!  Yes!  This man gets me!  This man loves me enough to call me out on what I need most to implement into my life!  This man cares enough about my spiritual condition to address the fault and the admitted flaws I have confessed to him.  Even if it might hurt my feelings a smidge, my husband cares enough about my eternal testimony and witness to pray for one of my most obvious needs.

Then, did you see the last part he wrote?  He asked God to be kind to me in His dealings with me not if but when I mess up.  Ouch and aww.  Steve knows me well enough to know that I am human and will indeed falter in my actions.  And he knows our Jesus well enough to know that His mercy will be there when we cry out for it.

In conclusion, I did send my gals out a prayer this week.  But, I copped out.  I researched some scriptures and found passages where I replaced “you” with their name, as I love to do for myself.  I printed them on some pretty stationery, jotted down a quick note at the bottom, and put them in the mailbox yesterday.  Yes, this took some work but no:  no I didn’t handwrite them.  I can use the excuse of my awful handwriting til the cows come home but the truth of the matter is that I didn’t do what I asked someone else to do for me.  

Faithful, fervent, righteous prayer, Stef?  

Umm...Sort of?  Mostly?

Ahem.

Okay, okay.  I will do it over.  I will take the time to write down a prayer for my fellow studiers.  I may not get to each one before we meet again but I purpose to.  

I don’t want to just write something to write something, you know what I mean?  I don’t want to be quick and careless with my words.  Instead, I want to consider and deliberate on whom each woman in my class is and address her individually and thoughtfully lift her up to my Father.  The notes I sent out did this but they used another’s words.  This time I shall,  with the Lord’s help, use my own.  

Which reminds me, I made this promise to my husband as well.  I may need extra paper and pencil for his!

Let’s pray!

Dear Lord, what a blessing it is to get to talk to You anytime, anywhere, with any method available!  Whether it’s a whisper, a time spent on my knees, a quick thought as a song or snippet of a conversation brings a certain someone to mind, or whether it’s a collective prayer for many or a note written, song sung, or genuine heart-to-heart with You, prayer is my avenue to getting help to clear up the fog.  Sigh.  

We are a needy bunch, we children of Yours.  May I take--make!-- the time to speak to You about the desires of my loved ones’ hearts is my hope today.  Even when it hurts and the issue may need You to be firm with them, I ask--as my beloved Steve did--that Your mercy flows as You refine them into the gold they are destined to be.

How I love You, Father, and again thank You for letting me talk to You.  What a Friend!  Thank You for being mine.  In the name of Jesus I pray.  Amen.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Question:  why do you love someone?  Is it because of what they do for you, how they make you feel, how they treat you, because of what they purchase for you?  What is it that allows your heart to care so deeply for this one?

Question number two:  what happens when all of their gifts cease?  When they stop listening to every word you say, when they take your feelings for granted, and when they stop catering to your every need:  do you still love them then?

Question number three:  when the good times end, do you still consider this person worthy of your affection?

Psalm 116 begins with the writer saying he loves the Lord because… Because why?  Because He heard him.  Because He listened to his voice, to his requests, and not only did the Lord hear the writer, He really listened.  He got up close so as not to miss a word.   

Ahh, how I can relate!  So many times in my life I have just wanted someone to listen to me, to put everything else aside and fully concentrate on the words coming from my mouth.  I longed for someone to hear what I was saying and not to interrupt during the pauses, the moments when the words weren’t coming out as succinctly as I needed them to, or to not butt in as I was collecting my thoughts so that my sentences would make sense.

Can you relate?  I’m sure most have heard that “God gave us two ears and one mouth to better hear and speak half as much” or something to that effect.  James may have said it best in 1:19:  “...Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…”

When you are troubled and want someone to just listen to you, is there a certain soul who comes to mind?  Someone that you just know will understand, will nod sympathetically as you pour your heart out, and who will not interrupt with her own stories and try to fix you when maybe you aren’t really even broken but just a little scattered and need to just sort things out as she wordlessly just...just listens?

The psalm writer found that One when he looked to God.  And, apparently, he had called upon Him more than once since his love for our Lord filled his heart with thanksgiving and praise.  That type of relationship doesn’t just happen, you know.  It takes trust and attention.  Sometimes I test folks with a casual or outlandish remark to see how they will respond.  I’m seeing if they are going to allow me to explain myself or to just think “That woman is nuts!” and walk away or describe how they would never do or think this.  Depending on their reaction, I then know if I can further open myself up and find an earthly friend worthy of my praise and loyalty.

In conclusion, sadly, it’s rare that one can find that type of friend. Thankfully though, we don’t have to keep our thoughts and emotions and dreams and wonderings to ourselves.  Nope!  Our heavenly Father is there, waiting and wanting to bend low to hear our every word!  No wonder He is called the Lover of our souls!  May He love on you today, friends, as you call out to Him with your concerns, with your most personal cares, and with your cries?  He wants to to be your Friend.  While others--not when--don’t drop everything when your voice calls out, God does.  His ear is inclined to you.  

You'll get through this!

Good morning!  I hope today is starting off on a positive level for you.

Tell me something:  is there anywhere one should go without having on the full armor of God?  Surely there are some safe places out there where one doesn’t need the battle gear on!  Right?  Church services, for example.  If any place is safe, then being around God’s people, hearing the songs of Zion, and listening to the man of God preach the Word should evoke a sense of security.  And meetings--such as Card Ministry, Bible Studies, or other church-related events:  these places one can definitely forego the battle gear attire, right?  And lastly, one of the most sacred places of all--your home, your sanctuary, where you are with your most trusted friend, involved in a study designed and purposed to bring you closer to becoming more like Christ--is of all places where you should feel guarded.  Right?  Right??

Ahh.  If only.  If only there indeed was a place where the helmet of salvation wasn’t necessary to block those fiery darts of the wicked one as the mind is attacked.  If only the breastplate could be set aside so that one’s heart wasn’t in fear of being pricked, much less broken.  

Steve and I are currently doing the you’ll get through this study by Max Lucado.  The mantra for this study goes as follows:  

You’ll get through this.

It won’t be painless.

It won’t be quick.

But God will use this mess for good.

Don’t be foolish or naïve.

But don’t despair either.

With God’s help, you’ll get through this.

Uh oh.  I already failed.  I was foolish.  I was naive.  

The first lesson we sailed through, congratulating one another on how wise and smart we were for not letting the woes of the world take us down.  Not us!  God had smartened us up to what was really important in life and while we thought this study would be useful as we learned more about how Joseph dealt with the adversities of his own life, we were pretty sure we had a good handle on this.  Especially Steve.  I mean, how hard is it to relate to your brothers betraying you when you are an only child?  He never dealt with the jealousies and pettiness of siblings, much less ever thought they’d sell him out as Joseph’s brother had.  At the end of Session Two, he was ready to move on, wondering if I had gotten anything from it.

Oh boy.

Sigh.

Being careful then--as I’m also trying to be now--I hesitatingly looked over my notes.  A couple of things had stood out to me.  The first was obvious:  being sold out by family members.  Yep:  I have the t-shirt for that one!  The second:  just how much would twenty pieces of silver be equivalent to in today’s market?  Were my siblings basking in their wealth and was it worth the price they paid for putting me into the cistern?  Third:  Max related how when Joseph was found he didn’t have a penny to his name.  This instantly took me back to the check I received from my mother’s estate for--you guessed it!--one cent.  The memories started and were just waiting for me to rehash them, revisit them, and return to the mire.

Okay, here’s where it pays to have ready the shield of faith, “with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one” (Ephesians 6:16).  Remember when I first started today’s blog how I questioned where one might be safe from the attacks of the wily one?  The answer is nowhere, as I relearned this lesson.  As I spoke to Steve of the insights I had, my faith shield was being drawn.  The truth of God’s Word, my position as His child, and my acceptance--no, my belief that regardless of what the world says, my worth is of much more value than any earthly inheritance.  I raised that shield and did not succumb to the lies, the memories, the betrayal.  Woo hoo:  ol’ Stef was indeed growing up in the faith!  

Reflecting further, I spoke of how Max had gone on to declare that not only had Joseph survived what his brothers had done to him, he thrived.  He had a destiny to fulfill, one that could not have been accomplished had he stayed at home.  And like all destinies (said Max), there are at least two common denominators.  The first is that one is God’s child.  Chosen by Him, purchased, and purposed.  The second?  One is God’s child forever.  No chance of being sold or disowned.  I am still a daughter of God.  Forever.  He won’t break His promise to me.  “From birth to hearse” my life on earth is preparing me for an eternity in heaven.  God’s plans for me are out of this world.  

Read that again.  God’s plans for me are out of this world.  Remember what Jesus told His disciples in John 16:33, how they would have tribulation but to be of good cheer because He had overcome the world?  That’s what I am going to do.  I am going to be of good cheer.  I am going to keep my armor handy at all times--especially when involved in things that pertain to church.  Why there?  Because that is where my guard is least down and my defenses can more easily be permeated.  It’s happened before and no doubt, I will be attacked there again.  Ephesians 6:12 states:  “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”  Satan tries to make us war with one another--often using our families to inflict the most damage.  

Are we going to let him win, friends, or are we going to fulfill the destiny Christ Jesus has prepared for us?  Keep those defenses up and be alert.  Don’t let him devour you.  I almost did.  By God’s grace and applying His Truths in my life--including in my mind where I am told to captivate my thoughts--I stand today.  And with His help, I purpose to remain upright and not go back to the pit where Satan tried to keep me bound and forsaken.  Who’s with me?

Let’s pray!

Dear Lord,

Whew!  What a lesson for me!  So much of Joseph’s life mirrors my own.  Betrayed, being a dreamer, being imprisoned, forgotten, falsely accused, used to allow others their relationships…

Lord?  You delivered me.  You rescued me from the pits of despair, time and time again.  And during those times, Father, You strengthened me, prepared me, and grew me.  Like Joseph, I learned to control my tongue and although I haven’t mastered it yet, my hope is that it now is more used to build up than to tear down.

As You use those evils for good, my prayer is that I won’t fight, won’t struggle against the lessons You teach.  The striving will end, Father, when You take me home.  Until then, my hope is that my life--when all is said and done--reflects You and what Christ Jesus has done for and in me.  Use me for good is my desire and I ask that You do this for Christ’s sake so that His sacrifice for me was not one done in vain.  Amen.

Be still. Please.

“...why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of Gentiles a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors have been able to bear?”  Acts 15:10

Don’t you just hate it when you let someone down?  To see the flash of disappointment in their eyes that they try to hide because they are nicer than you are and to see that they have better control over their emotions than you did with your tongue?

I do.  I’ve always been the sensitive one and hurt when others hurt.  While my mantra is that I am a lover and not a fighter, when I see someone taken advantage of or walked upon, my anger simmers and comes to a quick boil as I wonder how on earth someone felt s/he was so high and lofty that this type of behavior was exhibited, enforced, and/or expected.  I’m not sure when this exalted position of power came into place.  I only know that I don’t like it.

Let’s try to be nicer; more considerate.  As children of Christ, none of us has a more esteemed role than another.  Sure, some of us might have been in church longer.  Others might have had parents who were better examples than some may have had.  Still more are in between:  the ones who are still learning, still leaning on those everlasting arms, and still letting go of the strongholds that have bound for so long.  

We’re in this together, friends.  Let’s open those arms of welcome.  Extend those hands of fellowship, being sure to keep those index fingers extended with the other three alongside of them as the thumb embraces warmly the hand offered.  And those tongues?  Let’s allow them to flow from them words of encouragement and love.  Turn them upwards into smiles of acceptance rather than scowls of rejection.

Be gentle.  Be tender.  Be Jesus to them.

Let’s pray!

Dear Lord God, for all of the times I prejudge or hold past transgressions against souls, I come sorrowfully before You, with head bowed low.  I know I have not always represented You well.  Oh that I had the eyes of Christ to see what You see:  that I had Your wisdom to see hearts rather than outward appearances that can be so misleading.

I don’t want to place a yoke on another’s neck, Father, when You have so lovingly and graciously taken mine from me.  Burdens of heartache aren’t always obvious, Lord.  We humans do a pretty good job of covering up when others don’t take the time to listen to us, especially when our words are few. We can get so occupied in our own stories of redemption and self that far too often we stifle the environment to what needs to be confessed or shared because we are oblivious to the sudden silence.  People aren’t always enthralled, Lord, with our tales as much as we mistakenly believe.  As we interpret their silence for anticipation for the rest of our stories, God, I ask that we make sure our audience is really still keyed in and realize we missed our cue and perhaps should exit stage left while their soliloquies are spoken.

May we--may I--be still and listen.  May I be welcoming yet quieter so that I  allow others the opportunity to be heard.  That’s what so many of us want, Lord:  just to be allowed to speak without interruptions as we work through the chains that have bound us.  Make me an instrument of Your peace is my desire, Father.  Play me, use me to soothe in the name of Jesus I ask.  Amen.

...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

I’ve been quietly learning a lot these last few...days?  Weeks?  Months?  My whole life?  Yeah, that would probably be most accurate.  But here lately, it seems that I have not only learned to be content, but I have made peace with the things I am being taught.  I’m not fighting against the things I cannot change like I used to.  I’m not wrestling with the “what ifs” because-- as we all know by now--I’m a lover, not a fighter.  I’m not a good spitter either, so I am learning to chew on things more slowly so that I don’t choke and have to cough up the bitter truths that I used to find so hard to swallow.

Earlier this year--in addition to choosing a life verse--I chose some words that I would ponder on.  Words like “consider” and “perspective” along with “discipline” and “self-control.”  “Being content” wasn’t on the list because I didn’t really think I had an issue with it.  Steve and I are finally at a place in our lives that we have most everything we need and our physical wants are pretty well taken care of as well.  Yet...yet, something was missing.  Some satisfaction had not been obtained although I am not sure which area in my life it was missing from.

Until…

Until one day, some things just quietly dawned on me.  “My life is so good,”  I thought to myself.  Oh sure, I don’t get to see my grandchildren as much as I used to.  No, I don’t have a successful career.  My family that I was born into often clouds my thoughts but...but when I found myself focusing on the whatsoevers of the Bible instead, when I found myself looking up rather than around, and when I finally accepted the things that I cannot change...well, it was then that it all began to unfold before me and I realized how indeed all things were working together for good.  For good.  Those bad times and hard falls bruised me but they did not break me.  Yeah, a few left some scars but even in the scars there is hope.  For when I look at them, I see healing.  I see cancers of the soul that have been removed.  I see traces of what once was but I see those things more clearly as well.  Often we humans tend to put on rose-colored glasses when looking backwards but if we use our real bifocals, we tend to have a different and more accurate perspective.

So, what are some of the lessons I have learned, you might wonder?  I can tell you one or two.  The biggest, I guess, is the acceptance of the here and now. Have you ever heard that Yiddish proverb that “man plans and God laughs”?  I have made many plans for so many things and if you ever visit me, you would see lists and notations of things I want to do, need to do, and maybe even some of things that I need to undo.  They’re tucked in notebooks, stuck in my purse, jotted down on whatever piece of paper is handy at the time, and even on my computer as certain thoughts lead me to others so I quickly put them in a file for “one day.”  As I considered them, though, I wondered to whom it would even matter if they were fulfilled.  As much as I love my family, they have their own lives and I am now in the background, not front and center.  I have accepted that my writings aren’t going to set the world on fire and the best I can hope for is that what I share via this blog will encourage some sometime and somewhere.  Yes, I’d still like a career but then again, I see so many women my age who are just so tired.  They are tired at the end of their days. Tired when they come to church.  Tired when the weekend comes and...well, do I really want to go back to living in a fog when the air is so much clearer when I accept my position, my lot, in life?  

Which leads to another thing I have become content with:  possessions.  Last October, I thought it was time for me to have a new car.  Did I need one? Nope.  Celine was just fine and I adored my Scion.  However, the hopes of a larger vehicle led me to dream of...well, things that just didn’t happen.  So, partly because Steve had just gotten a new work truck and it was the nicest vehicle we’d ever had, I somehow talked myself into thinking I deserved one too.  I got a cute little Ford Escape (her name was Autumn) and she had lots of bells and whistles and for a short while, I was happy with her.  Or so I thought. Until I couldn’t see to merge into traffic too well.  Until I bought groceries and had to wrangle them out of the trunk (which by the way, the lift gate was so heavy that I considered opening it worthy of being labeled exercise).  Until I realized that while driving around and talking on the phone via the bluetooth was pretty groovy--except for the fact that I was rarely using it.

I could go on and on but basically I began to not like Autumn.  I wasn’t comfortable nor did I feel safe in her.  She stayed in the garage more and more and I questioned the folly of purchasing her to begin with.  After all, if I only needed a vehicle to go back and forth to church (which is less than a mile away) and to weekly grocery and/or trips to Walmart, why would Steve’s old 4-Runner not suffice?  Besides, since I have lost over 35 pounds, she was much easier to get in and out of.  Why not just keep Lily (the 4-Runner) and let Autumn find a new home?  

Oh sure, at first I thought of trading her in and car shopped for a couple of days--days that showed me clearly how much I really did NOT need a new vehicle.  The Lord used this experience to temper me, to teach me forbearance, and to show me that my pride had once again been an issue in my life. So, long story short, we sold Autumn.  I claim Lily now as “mine” and I am content.    

Content.  What a nice word!  What a nice place to be in.  As I continue learning and growing in my walk with Christ, my prayer is that whatever state I am in, whatever circumstances arise, and whatever my needs are, my prayer is that I will be content in Christ.  Not in possessions, nor in dreams, nor in labels.  In Christ.  In Christ alone.  I’m not there yet but watch for me, friends.  My arrival is at hand, I can just feel it!  “A tranquil heart is life to the body” states Proverbs 14:30.  May I rest in this promise is my hope!

Let’s pray!

Dear Lord, thank You!  My heart is content with my place in this world right now.  No, I am not completely satisfied and there is still so much I want to accomplish.  However, Lord, with Your help and Your guidance, my wants are now starting to line up more with the plans You have for me.  I am not striving against the pricks like I once did.  Because of You and Your gentle lessons, I am learning to be content.  Thank You!  May the continued lessons show me to be a willing and approved student is my prayer, asked in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and my Saviour.  Amen!