I Don't Want To Grow Up

July 31, 2014 My grandson is in a near state of depression. Last night, he was just so overwhelmed that he could hardly put a voice to his thoughts. Why? He has a birthday coming up in a few weeks. This will truly be a bittersweet event. Poor guy! He loves parties, loves playing, and loves being...the baby. He has been the baby for the past few years and for most of the years has revelled in this role. Take for instance when it was time to potty train. As I would change his diaper and powder him up, I'd coo to him that in a few more days it'd be time for him to start using the pot like a big boy. He'd smile so sweetly at me and say "No, I'm not." And he didn't. Not in a mean way. He just wasn't ready to let go of this portion of his "youth," the portion that let him be coddled and taken care of. He has a new brother on the way. He's pretty excited about it and has all kinds of plans to be his "protector" and talks of how he will help Mama feed him and play with him. But, somehow in the midst of all of this new baby chatter and his upcoming birthday, the ConMan is fraught. He does not want to grow up. He curls himself around Mama's expanding belly, jockeying for position as he gently rubs the baby, and snuggles ever closer to his nurturer. He has his birthday all planned out. He wants to go to Krispy Kreme and for everyone to bring him orange (his favorite color) presents. He and I planned this a few weeks ago and he refuses to budge on it (much to his parents dismay). He wants his friends to be there to celebrate with him but he does not want to turn four. He just is so sad about this! Can you blame him, folks? I think he has been somehow supernaturally impressed with the fact that growing up is not all that it is cut out to be. Responsibilities. Less play time. Eating vegetables. Going to school. Having to walk without being carried. Being rocked to sleep is so much better! Resting on the top of someone's shoulders is often easier than putting one foot in front of the other. Your food being cut up for you and brought to you is so much nicer than getting it for yourself. Your clothes somehow mysteriously are laid out for you and cleaned without you having to lift a finger to get them to the laundry room (except for those times when you want to help out). Taking nice warm bubble baths and then being wrapped up in a soft towel and comforting arms are hard things to beat! Yeah, if it was up to my darling gson, he would never get older. I Peter 2:2 says "As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby..." He likes the sincere milk, the purity of it, the uncomplicated portion that he is allowed so that he may grow--but not grow up. And, if it were up to me, I'd keep him at this age. Sweet. Needy. Dependent. Loving. Able to be mended by a few smooches and hugs--and a couple of jelly beans don't hurt either. Sigh. Life comes at us too quickly sometimes and then...and then we are looking back at it, wondering why we were in such a hurry, why we didn't slow down and remain kids for longer. When did we become old? When did our sunny dispositions that all could be made right with a cookie and a kiss change? Why can't we just play all day and not do chores? Today I encourage you to be a kid. Laugh. Do something silly. Get chocolate all over you and use the back of your arm to spread it even more messily around you. Don't pick your "toys" up and put away for later: take them out now! Take a good long nap after hearing a good story to encourage your dreams to be filled with adventures and far off places. Let someone else wait on you and cut your food up for you. If they are strong enough, let them carry you around for a bit and maybe even swing you in their arms (or take you to the playground if this option doesn't pan out). Holler "Wheeeee" and rejoice in this day that the Lord has made. Too soon it will be time to be an adult again. Too soon it will be that your body doesn't have the energy to frolic. Too soon the cares of this world will infringe upon your calm. Go find a kid and play with him or her today. I'll bet you will be glad you did! Let's pray! Dear Lord, how my heart aches for this child who sees so clearly that being older is a lot of work and takes away too much fun. Help me as his granny to show him that there is still a lot of fun to be had and that getting older isn't so bad. Help me to instill in him love and carefreeness (I think I just made up a new word, Father). And mostly, help me to enjoy this little child You have placed in my life and see the world through his eyes rather than the cynical and often jaded ones that are on my face. You have provided us with great beauty and life. May I--and my "baby"--enjoy it to the full is my hope. In Jesus' name I ask. Amen.

Step Into The Water

Post by Wandering Through the Bible.

You say you are over it and you mean those words. You say that you have forgiven that one who wronged you and you meant that too. You even say you wish that soul well and are able to convince others--as well as yourself--that your intentions are above board. But then... Then comes a picture, a phrase overheard, or a situation on a show you are watching or a book you are reading and the hurt comes back. The whole scene replays itself in your mind and you are there again, vividly recalling what this action was that caused you so much angst. Friend, it's okay. It's okay to be shaken, stirred even (contrary to what James Bond might say). Things like this keep us on our toes. Reminders of past haunts nudge us to keep a forgiving spirit and a tender heart so that we don't, in return, repeat these harmful ways on those whom we hold dear. The devil will try to tell you that you aren't being Christlike, that you are still chained to your past because of the evils that lurked there. He's wrong. He's a liar. His goal is to kick you while you are down but guess what? I know Someone Who can pick you right back up! Jesus told us, in Matthew 11:28-30, to "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden , and I will give you rest . Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Do you see it? His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Light. Not gone, for it is still there. But He's willing to share it with you; carry it for you, if you will give it to Him. Go ahead and feel those hurts again. They won't completely go away. But there is rest for your soul when you trust in the One Who offers peace. Let's pray! Dear Lord, today some of us are burdened by the past. Whether it be a relationship that resulted in unfair treatment, a co-worker who let us down, a picture of one whom we once cared so deeply for laughing and having a gay old time while we wallow in our self-pities because we aren't a part of their lives anymore. Maybe it's over a loved one who has gone home as Chonda Pierce is experiencing and writing about so movingly. Lord, the scenarios vary but the one standard that can make them easier to live with is that You will, that You ARE there to be beside us, leaving us as no one else can. You promised! Your Word declares You will NEVER leave us nor forsake us. Be our Friend today, Lord. Be our Burden Carrier and our Peace. I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Struggles

July 24, 2014 Do you ever feel like you are bothering God; that your prayers, your needs aren't as important as those of some of His other children? That God really doesn't have time to worry if you are going to overcome--with His help (that you are afraid to ask for)--the little struggles you face each day? If you do, you are wrong. Are you a parent or around kids much? What are their needs? Let's see: there are the basic ones of shelter, food, and clothing. They need to be trained/educated. They need to have boundaries put before them so that they don't stray into territories that they just aren't ready for. But what about those other little needs they have? In their minds, everything is a priority, an issue that needs constant and immediate attention. For example, each time my gson passes the jelly bean dispenser, he says--in an astonished voice--"I haven't had a jelly bean today!" As though the world would just stop if this issue wasn't taken care of unless the suddenly starving kid gets one or two of these necessary vegetables. Does he need a jelly bean each day? Of course he does! He needs not only the nutrition this bean provides but also needs to know that his daily life just won't be the same, won't be as good, won't be as fruitful without this little treat. He also needs to know that his need is noticed by the one who can take care of it. He needs the affirmation that approval is needed so that he can go about his daily business in a better manner than if the jelly bean was not a part of it. And, there are also some days, when more than one bean is needed. Shouldn't he be able to ask for one or two more just in case they are--maybe not needed as much as the first one but--they just tasted so good that he couldn't help but ask for more? Kind of reminds me of that verse "Oh taste and see that the Lord is good." So, what is your jelly bean today and/or most days? Is it for a loving heart? A patient spirit? Is it for a tender soul that is more aware of the needs of others rather than your own? Is it for just the strength to get up each day and face what life has for you? Is it for the car to start, the kids to mind, the husband to remember to pick up a jug of milk on the way home? Is it for that little pain in your body that is "no big deal" when so many others have worse ailments? Just what is it that keeps you from being better because you didn't ask for a little help from the God Who holds it all in His hands? Jelly beans, while tiny little things that don't take much effort to provide, are usually a source of happiness for most. Sure, compared to a full-course meal, they aren't as sustaining but...they are necessary for keeping one balanced and whole. How else would we stay so sweet? Let's pray! Dear Lord, we need more jelly beans. Whether they come as bits of tolerance, whether it's just the feeling of completeness they give us when we are alone in the crowd, or whether it's the little kick we need to help us swallow the rest of the meal that we must eat each day, we need more jelly beans. Help us to not be afraid to ask for them but to indeed be amazed that this little bite of joy is so easy to be acquired if we will just ask for it each day. Also Lord, I pray, that we won't be slack in asking from You the things we think we need that perhaps others will tell us are a bother to You. Just as I get a feeling of satisfaction for making my grandson smile and to see the delight on his face as he partakes of the little treat, You too enjoy seeing Your children experience joy. Remind us that You aren't too busy or will think less of us when we ask for our vegetables in life. Thank You! You are a wonderful God!

Write On?

Yesterday my internet was down. All day. Sigh. I had my day all planned out and was relying on doing some long put-off work on my computer but you know what? It's awfully hard to get things in order when your things you need to organize are on Google Docs and you have no way of accessing them. So, I did what any woman with half of a brain in her would: I went to the library to use their computers! I was going to get so much work done after all, I decided, in spite of this minor setback. It would just not be from the comfort of my own home. But alas! When I got to the Hudson Branch, all of the computers were being used. Errrrrrr. Okay, Stef: deep breath. Why not just go to the main branch? Surely they will have some computers open. Great plan! I grabbed a quick chicken sandwich from Burger King, went to Staples to mail a package and thought that I may as well grab come folders to put my work in. Finally, armed with 14 folders in 7 different colors, I was able to rock and roll! I made my way to a computer on the end, near the window, and with lots of room to spread my things out. I got one month's worth of blogs printed out completely (thankfully, I chose this month so that I wasn't too overwhelmed). It takes a lot of time to go back and put them in the right format for printing--something I am trying to teach myself to do correctly the first time so that there isn't so much follow up work to do that often seems to get put on the back burner. "Do it right the first time" is my mantra to my gsons. Guess it's time for ol' Granny to practice what she preaches, huh? Anyway, what does this all have to do with the Faith Challenge posted on the picture? Plenty! Last night, I could not sleep. So, from midnight to around 5:00 am, I went to my Pretty Purple Room and reviewed and organized my blogs that I had printed. I had several already done from previous times. As I held those blogs in my hand, as I checked off my list of which ones were done, done correctly, and which ones needed some more work, the feeling was...was...serene. Here, in my two hands, were words that had been carefully poured out of my soul. Some blogs were only a page while others were three and occasionally four in length. A phrase here and there would catch my attention and I would linger in thought over what made me write those at that point in time. This encouraged me to pull out my handwritten journals in my drawer (if you knew how bad my handwriting was, you'd see why word processing is such an avenue of help for me!). As I poured over those words, those insights into my soul, I was reminded about how good God has been to me, how good He is still to me, and how far He has brought me in the (nearly) past two years since the death of my mother. In closing, I want to encourage you to take this faith challenge today. Write someone a handwritten note. Something that they can touch, that they can pull out and read and re-read when they need a pick-me-up. It doesn't have to be long and it doesn't have to be on fancy stationery. Don't let the devil use that trick to sway you from participating. Just sit down right now and write. I daresay many of you--like me--have a treasure box of old notes, cards, letters that you have saved for personal reasons. Sometimes just seeing the handwriting of the one who wrote you these words is enough to warm your heart, to give you a smile, to make you feel peace. Let's keep that love flowing, shall we? When technology works, it's great but when it doesn't and we have to go back to our real books, our real paper and pencil, and our own devices for entertainment, reading notes from friends is a great way to pass that time--even if that friend is yourself! PM me if you want my address so that you can send me a note of encouragement! I will gladly take them! And send me yours too. I'd like to send you a personal message as well. Let's pray! Oh Father, You above all of us have written us a personal and private note, words to encourage us, words to inspire us, and words to tell us how very much You love us. Thank You for Your Word, God! How precious It is to me and how I take It for granted too often while using modern technology to do studies and such. The feeling I get when I hold my Bible in my hands is so sweet, so affirming. Sure, it's easier to find things on my Kindle or on the computer but when I linger over well-loved passages, over tear-stained verses, or lock onto scriptures that demand my whole attention there is just nothing like it. Help me to be more giving with my words, Lord. I used to be so much better about letting those I care about know that I care enough to just sit down once in a while and put those feelings on paper, paper that they can hold and could take out when they needed my far-off touch. May I and the ones whom You inspire take some time today to do this for others again is my prayer. Amen.

The Heat of the Night

July 7, 2014 Do you remember that tv show from the late 80s-early 90s "In the Heat of the Night" that starred Carroll O'Connor and Howard E. Rollins? Steve and I used to watch it way back then and--since we made the move back to antenna and got rid of cable--rediscovered it this weekend. Often tense, always dealing with some sort of explosive emotion, this show never ceased to make one...feel. The episode we watched last night was no exception. Titled "The Family Secret," IMDB provided the following synopsis: A magnificent statue of a Confederate officer is unveiled in the Sparta town square, the gift of the well respected Merrill family, Stuart and Bernice, who are in attendance with their granddaughter Mary Lynn. Bill Gillespie and his inamorata, Joanne St. John, are there along with Bubba Skinner. Embarrassingly, Claudia Merrill, Stuart and Bernice's daughter and Mary Lynn's mother, is not at the ceremony because she is "indisposed" (drunk) at home. That evening Stuart is murdered in his art glass studio, which is a shambles of broken art objects. Gillespie and Virgil Tibbs question Bernice, who blames Claudia. At the police station, Claudia confesses to the murder, but refuses to reveal her motive. Against Gillespie's advice, Virgil probes the case, which proves more sordid than anyone imagines." Sordid indeed. Thinking I might should stop watching because I was afraid I knew where this was headed, I found myself mesmerized. Seeing the pain in my eyes as he too recalled how closely--too closely--I was acquainted with this storyline, Steve even offered to turn it off during a particularly relatable portion dealing with "mommy knows but pretends that she doesn't" followed by an "it's your fault for being attractive and enticing him" scene. Sad sigh. Once the memories start they are so hard to shut off. At the end of the show when the murderer turned out to be another one of this "great man's" victims, my heart was in shreds. As the two so-very-sad women clung together in mirrored grief and heartbreak, I internally processed the building rage inside of me as I recollected my own history of abuse. Sadly though, I didn't have a comforter to help me through it (at that time, anyways). The young girl said something and I have for the past hour or so tried to find the script but cannot. It went something along the lines of--as she and her mother were discussing what innocence and happiness were--that "he took that from us, didn't he?" Isn't it great, just absolutely wonderful (and yes, that is sarcasm you are reading here), how a tv show that took place decades ago can still have such a powerful effect today? As I listened to such lines as "He just loved you so much he had to show you," or "He said he'd never do it again" flooding my living room, I nearly became sick. It's bad enough to be abused; it's so much worse when there are other family members who know of the abuse but would rather turn a blind eye as to admit the truth of it. My mother's favorite line was "If he ever tries something like that on Billy {my brother} then we will leave." Nah, I don't have any self-esteem issues from that statement. Okay, enough dwelling on the past. My point for this blog is that sexual abuse is much more in the social eye today than it was back in the day of this tv show--although shows like this impacted it in ways for others to finally be free to share their stories, share their shames, and share their victories as they went from guilt-ridden souls to ones that were now victorious. I am saddened each day to hear of sex-trafficking, child abuse, and the effects that pornography have on a daily basis. I am disgusted by tv shows that promote teen-aged sex as the norm rather than as the exception. I despise shopping for clothes when most stores seem to only offer shirts and bottoms that reveal more than is necessary. And dance studios!! They make our sweet little girls dress in provocative clothing, wear make-up that ages these little darlings into young sex kittens, and dance in ways that are enticing. Many folks remark on how "cute" this is but I...My heart just cries and bemoans the fact that parents have gotten caught up in the societal ritual that this is acceptable and on the other hand they fuss about how warped this world is. The world isn't making our kids vulnerable: we are. And it needs to stop. Sigh. If only people could see the long-term effects of this type of behavior. If only they would pay more attention to what goes on in their own homes before letting their kids into the homes of others. Yes, I know I can be prudish but it just isn't cute to me to see photographs of little girls dressed as...as provocative young women. It just isn't nice to see sweet, innocent children gyrating their hips in dances that are the latest craze. Don't even get me started on the things that I see from videos posted about Zumba classes! Please: ladies, if you think you need this type of exercise to stay fit, please don't post it for all of your friends and their significant others to see. Once an image is in the mind, it's awfully hard to discard. Do you really want your friends' mates looking at you and remembering the way you were shaking it on the dance floor and now are in front of them at church or other social functions, acting all dignified? No, I didn't think you did. Okay. I'll get off of my self-made pedestal for now. To wrap it all up, I guess my point today is that we are responsible. We have to be responsible! Now, don't twist my words and say that if you dress in a way that is enticing that "you are asking for it" because that is not at all what I am saying. While we cannot be held accountable for what others are thinking, we must be aware of things that we do that encourage lewd thoughts. Was I dressing too femininely when my dad tried stuff on me? Not at all. On the contrary, I made myself as unattractive as possible, trying not to do anything that would make him notice me. What I am saying is that if you have daughters, nieces, granddaughters, or other young women in your care then don't teach them to dance provocatively, to put on make up too soon, to wear clothes that are not appropriate. Keep them innocent for as long as you can. Yes, teach them about the evils that are out there but don't teach them how to provoke those evils. Keep a watchful eye on them--and on those men you let into your world. It's not a safe place. The family secrets are out now. Don't you wish you didn't know?

Imitators of God

Post by Wandering Through the Bible.