My Morning Prayer

Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has contentions? Who has complaining? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes?

Proverbs 23:29

Good morning, Lord Jesus!

I haven’t a clue what today will bring forth.  I know my plans:  get things ready for an afternoon cookout; go to church in a little while; rest once the company has filled their bellies and stayed as long as they wanted to; watch the Cowboys play football; order those free prints from Amazon; maybe make some mustard jars if the postman brings my promised delivery today. Depending on how these things go will determine if we attend church later tonight.

Those are my plans, Lord.  Do they line up with Your will for me?  Ordinary events.  How can You use me to make them EXTRAordinary, EXTRA special, EXTRA meaningful?  I’m listening.  I’m being still.

Please bless my time with my church family and my real family today.  I mean, they are all my real family.  May I not show favor to some and not all today is my desire.  May I not esteem one over another.  That hurts when that happens, Lord.  Please don’t let me hurt today is my prayer.

Jeremiah Buys A Field

Well, this definitely wasn’t how I thought my Bible studying would go today!  I figured I would come in here to my Pretty Purple Room, read a bit, and then write an uplifting blog about thankfulness and such since this is the month we celebrate things we are grateful for.  However…

As I continued my study of Jeremiah, the title of the chapter was “Jeremiah Buys A Field.”  He was in prison and the Lord spoke again to him, telling Jeremiah he was to purchase some land outside of Jerusalem where the soldiers were residing in as they overtook that great city.  Sounds kind of odd, huh, to buy land that used to be yours (as a citizen) and now the enemy occupied?  But our boy Jeremiah was nothing if not obedient to the commands of our Lord so he did as he was told, even though the doubts assailed him and he wondered if he was being foolish.

Do you remember yesterday how I unabashedly mentioned that sometimes it was as though the Bible was written just for me and that It spoke to me at often inopportune times (such as this one today when I thought I’d be learning more about Jesus and how to adapt my ways to His)?  Well, gulp, God did it again.  Or at least I think it was God.  Because of the pathway this scripture led me down, I am questioning whether God is involved at all.

Of course He’s involved, Stef!  Duh!  He wrote the book.  Remember?

You see, while my mind knows this, my soul was found in a sudden turmoil as I read in verses 31-32 of chapter 32 that “‘For this city has been to Me a provocation of My anger and My fury from the day that they built it, even to this day; so I will remove it from before My face because of all the evil of the children of Israel and the children of Judah, which they have done to provoke Me to anger—they, their kings, their princes, their priests, their prophets, the men of Judah, and the inhabitants of Jerusalem.’”

Suddenly my thoughts went back to the land I was cheated out of and the hurt that it caused--and apparently is still causing--in my heart, in my life, and in what was once my family.  Like God, I was provoked to anger as I read these verses, because of the evil that overtook my siblings when my parents died.  Yes, evil is a harsh word and not one that we like to use when discussing affairs of the dead.  In this case, though, evil is what indeed permeated lives, minds, and spirits, leaving a legacy of hate, mistrust, and lies rather than one of love, hope, and a future.

As I battled this war in my heart, deciding I was not going to let my anger turn into sin, I tried to veer my thoughts into my own version of Devil’s Advocate, reasoning within myself things from the viewpoint of those who wronged me.  Again I admitted to the validity of their belief that what they did was “right.”  But just as when it all occurred until now, I guess my struggle is that I still cannot reconcile the evil with what they did to me and my sister’s kids to the people that they profess to be.  And that is just too sad to further contemplate.  Again.

So, without rehashing all of the angst and gadding about in the past, I instead am choosing to look to the future, to the promise of all wrongs being made right, and to the day when God tells Jesus it’s time for Him to go get His children.  God’s going to tell Him to bring His bride home.  Home.  To a land flowing with milk and honey and where Christ Himself is the Light.  There will be no disputes over who owns/deserves/is entitled to any of it for there we will truly be joint-heirs with Christ.  The division will be over!  The anger gone!  The lies we believed about one another will be confronted, settled, and peace will reign.  If you don’t believe me, believe then God Who said:  “‘...I will rejoice over them to do them good, and I will assuredly plant them in this land, with all My heart and with all My soul.’”

I’m ready to be planted!  How ’bout you, friends?  Are you ready to put all of this fluff behind and look forward with great anticipation to our Lord’s return?  Even so, come Lord Jesus is my prayer.  Amen!

Moments

Ahh, family pictures.  Such great reminders of times past when things were…

When things were what?  Happier?  Simpler?  

Yes!  Contrary to the devil’s trying to make me sad and think my whole past was rotten, there were some good times spent with those who brought me into this world and helped to raise me and then later procreated themselves to continue a legacy that--in spite of the devil’s best intentions--lives on through the next generation and offers hope for more pictures like this one with their kids and grandkids, more nieces and nephews, and lots and lots of love.

This photograph is from 1997.  Nearly twenty years ago and so much has changed.  You see the first three women on the left?  The lady with her arm extended?  That’s my Aunt Bo.  She’s reaching to her mother, my grandmother:  Mom.  And just below her?  That’s my sister-in-law Christina.  What’s so special about these five ladies?  Sigh.  Sadly, they have all passed on.  Today marks the eighth year of Mary’s victory.  Mom was next.  And then my sweet Bo.  In a week, the death of my mother will be in its fourth year of her loss.  And Christina?  Not quite a year ago she left us for greener pastures.

Notably missing in this picture is my dad, who died a month before Mary did eight years ago.  He was off on one of his annual hunting trips, which he tended to take around Thanksgiving.  That explains in part why we were all happy in this picture.  I’m not being mean but he tended to be a hard man at times and when he wasn’t around?  Things were just more pleasant for us all.

Also missing from this picture is one of my nieces who was a bit camera shy  Besides, someone had to take the picture!  My Aunt’s son is also not here.  I can’t recall why right now.  

Were this picture to be “re-created” today, there would be an additional twenty-five folks in it.  We’d definitely need a wide-lens camera for that!  Plus, we’d have to find a mutual meeting place since our matriarchs are all gone now and many of us have grown so far apart.  It’s a nice thought though:  to think of my remaining sister and her family, Mary’s family, Billy’s family, and my uncle and cousins--along with my own brood--to gather, to eat a big meal, to watch some football (go Cowboys!!), and to watch our children play together.  To think that these kids would learn from our lessons better how to love, how to forgive, how to family.  Ahh.  Perhaps one day.

Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.

Psalm 127:3-5

No Love Lost

No love lost. That was the title of an email I received today and it struck me. Usually, when I hear this phrase, there is a negative connotation to it so I was curious as to what the email was about. Seeing that it was from a photo company that wanted me to save all of my precious pics, it gave a whole new meaning to this term.

No love lost. Hmn. How much love do we have setting around, lying in our hearts, and aren't using it? How much love do we have in our eyes but aren't allowing it to shine forth? How much love are we withholding from our arms as we refuse to touch those around us who might need a pat on the back, a hug or two, a touch on the shoulder in empathy? And our fingers? Why aren't they picking up more phones, writing more notes, and cooking little goodies to take to those who are homebound?

Lost. Unable to be located but...not unable to be found. Remember when Jesus said that "none would be plucked from His hand" or when He said that He came "to seek and to save that which was lost"? I John 3 tells us quite a bit on how Christ first set the example and what our responsibilities are once we become children of our King. As I read through this passage, I determined that it's really not that hard--to love, I mean.

The other night, Steve and I actually did a study on verse one of this passage:

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

While Steve's immediate thoughts led him to how much he loves his grandsons and all that he wants to give them, mine were focused more on the name calling aspect of this scripture. To be called a child of God, to be associated with His family? Many of you know the shame I have dealt with over the one I was born into so to be chosen to be a part of the family of God is an honor! What we both agreed the most on, though, was just how absolutely wonderful to be lavished, to be adored, to be able to love those gsons of ours because we were first shown how to by the wonderful Jesus.

In conclusion, let's not leave any love behind. Friends, as we go about our days, our hours, our minutes, let's look for ways to shine, to lavish, to love. Verse 18 says:

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

Sounds like a great plan to me! Let's pray!

Dear Lord, how great and wonderful You are to delight in us, to choose us, to love us. May this love not be lost. May it not be taken for granted. May it not be hoarded up but instead spread widely for all of Your other children to relish and revel in.

Thank You for loving us, for loving me. I love You too! Amen.