I Corinthians 10:12

Wandering Through the Bible

August 12

Who was it that just recently wrote about not putting on the whole armor of God so that she would be better prepared for life's little darts? Oh yeah: it was me!!

Yesterday, it happened again. Sigh. Where oh where are my spiritual vitamins, my energy shots that so fill me with the Spirit that I am able to instantaneously ward off these unexpected little nothings that when, thrown together, create such a chaos in my heart?

I guess you could attribute it to a number of items. I am still recovering from my horrid summer cold that has left my defenses--both physical and mental--in a lessened state. Combine that with not taking a nap and deciding it would be a great idea to go out to eat at a nice restaurant with the family. Add one waiter who was a bit too friendly, a bit too touchy (I just cannot stand for another man other than my husband to touch me!!). Lastly, throw in a woman who made my third year of teaching absolute hell at times and voila! There you have it. A recipe for disaster.

Well, maybe that's a bit extreme. Maybe.

Seeing this woman--again--really set me off. Funny though: for some reason, God keeps putting her in my path. Oh no, not on a regular basis. But frequently. I doubt sincerely she has any clue as to the effect seeing her smarky face does to me. Occasionally on these "meetings" our eyes would meet and I'd see a faint glimmer of "Don't I know you from...?" See, that's how it is in Satan's wars: usually the ones who harm us the most have no clue, no indication of the turmoil they have thrown us into.

Recognizing this and dealing with it are two of my peeves at this time. I have forgiven this woman for the pain she caused me. Right? Didn't I? I mean, seriously, it was ten years ago and surely during that time of angst that I went through as I mourned the loss of teaching, surely somewhere in that time I forgave her. Right?

Sigh. Guess not, Stef. Otherwise the Good Lord wouldn't keep putting her in your sights every so often. For if you had dealt with it, why the tribulation upon seeing her? Why the need to get out of the same air that she breathes? She can't hurt you anymore. Unless you let her. Unless you allow those memories of her power trip with you as her kicking stone to permeate your mind and soul. How much longer are you going to do that, Stef? The only power she has over you is the power you give to her. And, didn't we already agree that she most likely doesn't have an inkling of an idea of what she did to you?

Okay, God: let's do it again. With purpose. I'm so tired of falling lately, especially when I am just minding my own business and trying to stay out of conflict's way. My defenses were down and I again need to remind myself to put on my proper attire each day, each time I step out of my little world, each time I am faced with life. Here goes.

Dear God,
I am sorry for the poor witness I was to my family yesterday when I saw this woman and made haste to leave the restaurant before she could see me. I must remember that she professes to be Your child and regardless of the demons she created in my soul, she has her own to deal with. I don't need to be one of them. I don't need to confront her with the fact that she made my life miserable all those years ago. What good would come from that? What good would come from me finally facing her instead of running each time I see her? You and I both know how my mouth gets me into so much trouble!
Help me, God, to forgive her. You put her in my path once again last night and I do not understand why but maybe it's to remind me that I get too haughty in my belief that I am able to stand without You. I didn't realize I was in my own strength rather than relying on Yours to get me through each step of my journey.
I release my hurts she caused me into Your hands, Father. I examine myself as well to see, to think of those harms I caused to Your children unknowingly. Help me to be a peacemaker, a peace sower. Help me to rely solely on You, minute by minute, as I meander my way through each day. Thank You for Your forgiveness, Your tolerance, and Your patience with me. Remind me as often as needed, Lord, that I can't even walk without You holding my hand--and tongue!
In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

 

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The Lion's Tamer

Around our house, The Lion’s Tamer has become a favorite activity for PawPaw and the grandsons. Basically it consists of PawPaw grabbing a kid up while he tries to run away, then PawPaw’s arms wrap around the child’s neck. This is followed by wrestling/tickling/and making crazy noises while the grandkid laughs and squeals mercilessly until one or the other is worn out. Yeah, usually it is ol’ Steve who needs to catch his breath.

We use this form of “discipline” to keep these boys straight. You know how little toddlers can get out of line! They need some roughhousing often to keep their energy spent and also to let go of some aggressions they might be harboring.

The Lion’s Tamer is most effective on Walker, since he can actually participate the most being that he is three-years-old. Connor is almost eighteen-months-old and mostly just loves being nestled in PawPaw’s arms and being tickled. Besides, how much pent-up aggression can a little kid that small have, right? I am so glad you asked!

The other night, Connor was tired. And cranky. Missing his afternoon nap didn’t help his temperament at all. After supper, he was one perturbed young fella. After a few little tantrums because he didn’t get his way, Daddy had had enough. It was clear that something drastic would have to be done so my son-in-love did what had been tried and proven before: he used his own version of The Lion’s Tamer on Connor. Off they went to the back bedroom, with Connor fully ensconced in Casey’s arms. Oh, the pitiful cries that came from that room! They were soon followed by angry cries as I am sure Connor tried unsuccessfully to get out of his daddy’s grip.

Louder and louder, and I felt my head pounding and wondered if they would ever stop. Wait! A brief moment of silence. Had little stubborn Connor finally realized he wasn’t going to win this battle? Yay! Maybe some of his determination to always have his way was losing to the authority of his daddy who really is supposed to be the one in charge. Speaking of Daddy, let me interject here to state that Casey is one patient man. He is not an arguer nor a man who rants and raves back. While holding his son(s) for this type of discipline, that's what he does: he holds them. He doesn't try to rationalize, nor does he preach to the kids. He holds them until the fight is gone, knowing that sometimes they just need to rage and get it all out before they can move forward. And in Daddy's strength, they realize they are safe. In Daddy's arms, they are secure.

So back to the Connor drama. Alas! The peace was not to be. Round two—or was it three, four, or five by now?-- continued. It was not a pretty time. Wanting to go in there but not daring to disrupt this time of discipline, I asked my daughter to at least go close the door so we all wouldn’t have to suffer the wrath of Connor’s anger. Several minutes later, it quieted down again. Dare we hope? Could the storm really be over? Sigh. A few more minutes and then, yes, the gentle squeak of the door opening and the soft footsteps as Daddy brought a smiling Connor back to us. Lovingly he placed him in PawPaw’s arms and the kid just sat there, looking at us all with the most peaceful, serene expression on his face! He smiled and we all told him we were glad to see him again. Well, Walker only briefly looked up from the book he was reading, but I could tell he was glad to have his sweet brother back with us versus the angry little monster who had disappeared only a half-hour ago.

I pondered on this a while, partly because it fascinated me and partly in a little fear that it wouldn’t last. But it did. I went over to Casey and Ashley and I told them, “You don’t know this yet or may not realize it but this little incident is a good reminder of how we act towards God. We pitch our fits, stomp our feet, cry and scream when we don’t get our ways. Finally, He has enough and just like Casey did, He puts The Lion’s Tamer on us and eventually we stop struggling.” I went on to say, “Look how peaceful Connor is. Daddy indeed knew best and now his little fit is over.” How much easier it is to give in to him rather than to fight.

The Lion’s Tamer. The Lion of Judah calms us when we are uncontrollable. He holds us until the fight leaves us. He soothes us and whispers in our ears that He will win. He tames us. He loves us. And when we stop fighting Him, we too can have peace.

For God So Loved

Walker ignores the dickens out of me when I tell him I love him. I do this often. He can be playing, sitting in his car seat, eating, doing something silly or sweet, or just being. Most of the time, he doesn’t even look up or acknowledge my voice. If I grab him up and smother him with kisses, he just squirms and tries to get away. Cuddle with him? Ha! The boy is not interested in Granny’s expressions of love. Except…

Except when he hurts. Just let him fall down or bump his little hard head. Then he wants me, my hugs, my kisses on where it hurts. But once the momentary pain has passed, so has he. On to the next big adventure. He knows Granny is there when he hurts. But there’s too much to do to bask in this love for long.

Oh sure, we have good times. Sometimes, out of the blue, Walker reaches up and kisses me. Or he will bring my hand to his cherub bud lips for a quick smooch. When it’s time to say goodbye, he’ll “give me some love.” This consists of allowing himself to be hugged, offering his cheek for a kiss, and sometimes patting my arm. Often he’ll rest his sweet little head on my shoulder, but only briefly. Remember: he’s a busy man!

So, does this remind you of anyone? Perhaps yourself? It sure does remind me of me. God loves me so much! He tells me over and over in a variety of ways throughout my day. Sometimes it’s an audible voice; other times it’s in the way He responds to my needs. When I fall down in my daily walk, when I get boo boos that hurt, He is the first One I go running to. I’ll let Him hold me and comfort me, kiss the pains away. Sometimes I will linger because it feels so good to be in His arms. But what about the other times, the times when I am too busy to pay attention to His sweet expressions of love? The times at night when I finally give Him my undivided attention while I pray and tell Him what I need tomorrow and, oh yeah, thanks for what You did today? Too many times I give Him only enough love in return to "do my duty" in keeping the peace.

What about the times throughout the day when I am not doing anything spectacular and just, out of the blue, He whispers He loves me? I tend to be like Walker and just go on about my business. The gentle touches, the helping hand that I don’t always acknowledge but sure expect to be there when I am climbing up my steps. The blankie being pulled up over me so that I stay warm. Making sure my cup is filled. Ahh, how my blessings runneth over.

These gestures are only a sampling of what I do—consciously and unconsciously—for my loved one. How wonderful that the expressions our Lord uses are always thought about, always ready, and always filled with love!