From Facebook, six years ago

Stefanie Hutcheson

March 4, 2011 at 6:45am · 

is hopeful, for if we have no hope, what are we living for? Many of us have trying jobs, trying family and friends, and often feel there is just too much on our plates and we are stuffed and cannot take one more bite. So I invite you to sit back, relax, and let these cares rest on shoulders that are much broader than your own and let Jesus do for you what He said He would. Do you trust Him? I do!☺

It's me. Again. Standing in the need of prayer.

I know I have written on this theme before and sadly, being the vile soul that I wish I wasn’t, probably will again.  Oh Lord:  when will You deliver me from the body of this death?!

Dramatic much, Stef?

Sigh.  Unfortunately, yes.

Do you ever burrow things up inside of you, choosing not to deal with them at this time, and then a certain circumstance comes along and you see your chance.  Oh no:  not to deal with it.  Heaven forbid (ahem)!  No, you see your chance to take out your frustrations on an inanimate object, one that can’t talk back, or be seen face-to-face.  One that “doesn’t matter” because, realistically, what are the chances of you ever being in this soul’s aurora anyways?  This “inanimate object” can be argued with over the phone, accused to via “Live Chat” (even though faces aren’t shown, only the written words), or through emails.  Funny thing though:  these “inanimate objects” are really people.  People who feel, who have a job to do, and mostly, they are real.  Just because we can’t see them doesn’t lessen our responsibility to treat them with respect and dignity as we would should we truly be face-to-face.

There are three big issues in my life that I am grieved with right now.  Wanna know what they are?  Well you can’t.  No offense, but I don’t need unsolicited advice, fake understanding, nor helpful words of Scripture.  What I need is a good kick in the pants and I doubt any of you out there would be willing to step up and do that, now would you?  What about a good smack upside the head?  Ahh, I’m sure I could get quite a few volunteers for that!  

What about praying for me?  I’m talking about a real heart-to-heart with God, fervent words that let Him know that your pal Stef is really messing up right now and much as you’d like to fix her, you know that God is the only One Who can.  

So, would you seriously petition Him on my behalf?  Can you take a moment--or ten--to bring my name up to God Almighty and ask Him to step in and work this out in me?  For you see, if He doesn’t, if it’s left up to me to deal with, I’m liable to mess up.  Again.

This morning, I did just that.  Oh sure:  I told myself I was perfectly within my rights to be angry.  And I was!  But somehow--because of my Big 3 that I’m dealing with--I forgot neglected the rest of the verse.  You know the one I am talking about?  “Be angry and sin not”  (Ephesians 4:26).  And boy did I sin!  Boy did I let my righteous anger out!  I mean, after all, someone should make this mistake right, right?  It wasn’t my fault the company messed up so why should I have to suffer (choke) for this error and why should I have to be put out and not get my merchandise in the time frame that was promised to me?

Did you just throw up in your mouth a little, suddenly realizing that ol’ Stef surely could use a kick in the butt and a smack on the noggin and you may just be the right one to do it after all?  Sigh.  I certainly don’t blame you.  As noted, I hold myself in contempt.  You should too.

Now there may be a kind soul or two out there that might tell me to not be so hard on myself, to not feel so badly about getting irate over poor customer service, and/or to just apologize and ask God to forgive me and it’ll be okay.  “It happens to all of us sometimes, Stef!”  

But you see, it won’t.  I won’t be okay.  For when I lose control of myself, when I let my feelings take over my sense, and when I get to thinking that I deserve such and such regardless of who has to be put out to make it happen, I hurt Him.  I hurt my testimony which in turn reflects on Christ.  It makes a mockery of all He’s delivered me from and suffered for.  My ministry which I have sought so hard to make be one that honors Him could be lost in a flash, over one stupid item that in the grand scheme of things is...is dung.  Foolish.  Certainly not worth the time, effort, and now the great shame that I feel over it.

Okay, I’ve got some apologizing to do and you have some praying to do.  I mean it.  If this blog affects you in any positive way and you get any encouragement, motivation, or inspiration from it, then you owe it to me to make sure that it stays afloat and doesn’t sink because I took my eyes off of Jesus for a moment.  James 5:16 says:  

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another,

that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a

righteous man availeth much.

I’m doing my part.  I am confessing to you right now my sin of anger, readers.  Please do your part and now pray fervently for me.  I need to be healed.

Let’s pray now.

Dear Lord, how ashamed at myself I am right now.  I thought of keeping this to myself and keeping it between You, me, and the ones I will soon be writing to, but Lord?  Lord, I need some help.  I need others to hold me accountable for my actions.  I need friends to sharpen me.  I need to stop telling others how to live and focus on living the right way--Your way.  I slip way too easily, Lord, stumbling over little pebbles that get in my pathway.  

I am sorry, Father, for my actions and my lack of control.  I wanted to be mad at something, someone, anything other than dealing with what is really the issue here.  My Big 3, I call them, and You know what they are and how they are really what is bugging me and why I so carelessly took my angst out on others.  As I begin to send out my apology notes, I ask You to use my words this time to be kind instead of hateful.  Temper me and bring me back into fellowship with You, Father, so that I can move forward or so that I can at least know that it’s time to stop, to stop trying to force things to happen that just might not should be going on in the first place.

I ask these things in the name of Jesus.  May His name not suffer for my poor choices is my prayer.  Amen.

And Now You Know!

And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the LORD, which I am commanding you today for your good?  (Deuteronomy 10:12–13, ESV)

It’s time for another edition of “Put Your Name Here!”  I just love Bible verses that I can truly personalize so that when the time comes (and it comes often) that I am not (ahem) sure that God is really talking to me, I can know for sure.  

So often many of us wander about, trying to decide who we are, who we want to be, and who we are supposed to be.  Whether it’s in a job, relationship, or during a mid-life crisis, so many of us are still trying to figure out who we want to be when we grow up.  Sigh.  I know during my fifty-three years of life the question has come up on more than one occasion.  Truthfully?  I am again this very moment trying to determine where to go next in my journey of life.  Luckily--scratch that.  Thankfully for me, the timely Word of God has once again stepped up to show me that it really doesn’t matter what I do, what job I perform, or who I am relating with that it’s just not about me.  I’ll write that again:  it’s just not about me.

I know!  I was stunned too, even though it’s not the first time this has been brought to my attention.  Years ago at Flemings Chapel during one of our Sunday School lessons, we read the book by Max Lucado entitled It’s Not About Me.  During our studies, we found out that this life we lead is not about what we can accomplish on our own but rather it is about Jesus.  It’s about Him and what He is doing, not about seeking our own fortune and fame.  

So, as mentioned above, I took this verse, replaced the “yous” with my name and personalized it for these times of wondering and wandering.  May I encourage you, friends, to do the same?  Talk about having the answer all spelled out for you!  Additionally, when we truly believe that our Bibles were written for our edification and not just some random “other” people, we are more able to identify with the truths found.  

Here is “my” verse:  

And now, Stefanie, what does the LORD Stefanie’s God require of Stefanie, but to fear the LORD Stefanie’s God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the LORD Stefanie’s God with all of Stefanie’s heart and with all of Stefanie’s soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the LORD, which I am commanding Stefanie today for Stefanie’s good? (Deuteronomy 10:12–13)

Kind of explains it all, huh?  Stefanie is required to:  fear the Lord; to walk in all (not some) of His ways; to love Him; to serve the Lord with all (again, not some, not part, but the whole kit and kaboodle) of my heart and soul (ooh, that one’s going to be tough!); and lastly, to keep the commandments and statutes of my Lord.  I am commanded to do these things.  It is a requirement and my reasonable service as a child of God.  Now, before you go laughing at me and wondering how in the world I am ever going to pull this one off, remember:  you have to do this too.  Nan nan uh boo boo.  😁

Whew!  I think we can all agree that it’s time to pray.  Ready?

Dear Lord, how many times have I said that I just don’t know what to do with myself?  How many times have I planned and schemed and fought and lost the battle to be something that I am not destined to be?  How many times have I sought Your will in all of this only to fall short?  

But here it is, Father, plainly written for my eyes to behold and my mind to accept.  It’s not about me.  It never was, never will be.  My life’s purpose is to honor You, to love You, to fear You, and to follow Your Word.  And You know what, Dad?  It’s really not such a hard thing to do.  Your commands are not meant to keep me from stuff I think I should be involved with, that I am entitled to somehow, or so that I can be one of the crowd.  Rather, Lord, the things You ask of me are--and again, it’s clearly spelled out for me when I take the time to just read and study Your Word--for my good.  Wow!  After all of the things I have done and still do to hinder my walk with You, You still are requiring me to do these things for my good.  No, You didn’t ask and You didn’t see if I was chill with it.  You instead in Your infinite wisdom and knowledge knew before I even came on the scene that my life indeed was to have a purpose and that purpose would be to glorify You.

I can do that.  I can, Lord, as long as my eyes stay on You and off of me.  Knowing what is required of a body is half of the battle and now that I know what Your will is for me, the remaining part is all about obedience.  This I will endeavor to do because yes, I fear You, but also and most importantly because I love You.  How could I not?!  You have given me so many desires of my heart.  You have blessed me in more ways than I could ever count.  You redeemed me from this fallen world and from my sorry self.  You taught me real love and laid down Your life for me.  For me!  That still dumbfounds me.

Lord?  Thank You for Your amazing grace, Your unending mercies, and for Your gentle reminders to me that I am loved by One Who knows best.  While others may be more deserving, You chose me and for that alone I trust You and will try harder to make that calling one that pleases You.  Keep sending me unexpected reminders when I need them most and when I need them period elsewise I am liable to take my eyes away from You and get caught up in self again.  

I love You, Father.  I accept Your Word and with the help of Christ Jesus I will please You.  It is in His wondrous name I pray:  amen.