Wandering Through the Bible shared Stefanie Hutcheson's video.
What's in a name? Hmn. A lot! Our names define us, label us, and allow us to be specified to when in a crowd. For instance, if we were all Johns and/or Susies and were in a place and someone shouted out "Hey John!" or "Hey Susie!" there would be no way of telling us apart, no way of knowing just which John and/or Susie was being referred to.
Many of us were named after someone so there is an expectancy, a heritage to live up to. Today I had a new "nephew" born and he was given a biblical name so his parents, in their own way, have some preset expectations for him. Others of us were not named after any specific soul, so our destinies have not been preordained to be fulfilled in any certain way.
Proverbs 22:1 states that: A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. It's nice when we can fulfill the suggestions of the Bible in order to become better people. But what about those of us who have names that we feel…well, less than proud of? Ashamed of even. What of us whose names bear negative connotations that we had nothing to do with yet are branded with?
Lately, I have been considering having my name legally changed. Not my married name but my so-called maiden name. My reasons are many but most deal with the fact that the "family name" makes me feel shame. I have avoided using it and hate those forms that I have to fill out that ask for it. In fact, I shun using it as much as possible and even when I catch up with old high school and/or college buddies that knew me by it, I try to get them to just remember me as "Stef with an F" or via friends I hung out with. Lastly, I want rid of this name because it reminds me of my mother disowning me in her last will and testament. The anniversary of her death is in a couple of weeks and she has been on my mind.
Did you ever read Arthur Miller's book "The Crucible"? In it, John Proctor, the protagonist of the story, was accused of witchcraft (when in fact it was adultery that was his sin). Here's a quick recap, via SparkNotes:
"Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet of them that hang! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!"
Proctor utters these lines at the end of the play, in Act IV, when he is wrestling with his conscience over whether to confess to witchcraft and thereby save himself from the gallows. The judges and Hale have almost convinced him to do so, but the last stumbling block is his signature on the confession, which he cannot bring himself to give. In part, this unwillingness reflects his desire not to dishonor his fellow prisoners: he would not be able to live with himself knowing that other innocents died while he quaked at death's door and fled. More important, it illustrates his obsession with his good name. Reputation is tremendously important in Salem, where public and private morality are one and the same. Early in the play, Proctor's desire to preserve his good name keeps him from testifying against Abigail. Now, however, he has come to a true understanding of what a good reputation means and what course of action it necessitates—namely, that he tell the truth, not lie to save himself. "I have given you my soul; leave me my name!" he rages; this defense of his name enables him to muster the courage to die, heroically, with his goodness intact.
So, again I ask, what's in a name? Sigh. So so very much. Our reputations and what we stand for, Who we stand for, are often put on the line when our surnames are spoken. Rather than one of shame, guilt, and all those other negative words, I want mine to stand for truth, faith, and pride in being called a child of God. Do I have to go to legal lengths to get it done? Possibly. Or I could keep it as (another) thorn in my flesh: it can be a reminder that I'm not who I was, I'm not the same as my "family" was, and then perhaps I could use it as a witness of how far Jesus has brought me. But truthfully, the more I think about it, the more I want it gone. Each time I see it in print, it brings back yucky memories. Each time I hear it spoken, I cringe as I remember those to whom it belongs. It doesn't belong to me.
You know that song "There's A New Name Written Down in Glory"? When Christ adopted me into His family, I was given a new name when He wrote it down in The Book of Life. That took place long before I knew the dysfunctions of my heritage and I am so thankful that He did that for me. As I approach my sunset years, I think I am going to go ahead and take the steps to remove that old name from my books as well. I've got plenty of thorns still to poke me so why not get rid of one that can be taken care of with little effort? Besides, it's rare that it is used at all. Removing it from legal documents will alleviate one source of discomfort for me that will in a small way assist me. I won't have to be jabbed out of the blue and have to relive things that are best forgotten.
In conclusion, a good name is to be treasured above all. Watch this clip from a couple of years ago when my grandson Walker feared that the ocean was about to wipe his away. Even small children know the value of great things.
Let's pray.
Dear Father in Heaven,
Thank You for the opportunity to have a good name through Your Son Jesus Christ. As I embark on the legalities of having my maiden name removed from my life, help me to also remove other hindrances that keep me from bringing honor to You. Baby steps. One step at a time. Lord, I want to be like You and I cannot do it if I have so many stumbling stones that keep tripping me up. You know how I like to be bare-footed: help me to have a path that is straight and debris free. In Jesus' Name I ask, amen.
