You’ve Just Been Stefanied

Have you ever Googled yourself?  I have.  The other night during one of those restless times, I was bored and pondering about the inability to find background information on something I have been wondering about, so for fun I put my first name in the search bar and came upon the Urban Dictionary site, where--to my amusement (and also to my chagrin)--there I was, in black and white, defined for all the world to see.  Sort of.

For you see, this isn’t a “real” dictionary and the explanations in it are based on others’ experiences with certain topics, such as people’s names.  Now, I’ll admit it, the first “definition”  for my name was a bit offsetting so I went on to the second one, which was much more flattering and I liked it.  A lot!  It went like this:

Stefanie, without a doubt, is the perfect woman. Full of life and laughter. She has a smile that can light up a dark room. Beautiful on the outside and beautiful within, she's flawless and her beauty stands out. Sweet, caring, funny, smart, classy and determined. Stefanie always gets what she wants. She may be sweet but don't take her kindness for a weakness, she stands her ground. Once you meet a real Stefanie, don't ever let her go. Stefanie is unforgettable.  Stefanie is unforgettably gorgeous inside and out.

Nice, huh?  Who wouldn’t want to be a Stefanie, based on this?  Not so fast, though.  I kept reading and was not as pleased with some of the other remarks.  Case in point:

To give a harsh remark that was uncalled for.
A spiteful remark
Being able to speak your mind and not caring whether or not you hurt someone while doing it.

The most fake person you could ever be friends with. Often pretends to be nice towards others, but as soon as their backs are turned, she says everything mean about them, thinking they won't find out.

Girl: Did you hear what happened to Jenni?
Boy: Yeah, I heard she got "Stefanied."

See what I mean?  “I just got Stefanied” is not quite what I want to be known for, to be branded by, or to be someone’s byword according to these definitions.

As I was doing my morning reading, I turned to Psalm 69.  It described how David felt when he was trying so hard to live for the Lord and yet the opposition was all around him, trying to make him stumble, keeping him separated from those he cared most about.  He even wrote that “I have become a stranger to my brothers, And an alien to my mother’s children” (verse 8).  Ouch.  If that doesn’t hurt--to not be considered as “family” anymore--then I don’t know what does.  And sadly, on this point, I can relate all too well to David’s angst.

As I thought through my own displacement from the family I grew up with and others I am estranged from, I contemplated if they felt they had been “Stefanied.”  This led me to thinking about my current acquaintances and friends and wondering:  would they be more prone to think kindly of me--as in the first definition--or (gulp!) would they be more apt to find me scornful, fake, causing hurt, and speaking with spite?  I shuddered then and am shuddering now.  

Friends, our names are our walking testimonies.  When others introduce us, the tone of voice that is used often depicts the internal emotions they feel towards us.  When they talk about us to others, that same intonation can be used to lead others to us or have them running for the hills when they see us coming.  Proverbs 22:1 tells us “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, Loving favor rather than silver and gold.”  As we go about our journeys, let’s ensure that we are leaving behind a pleasant aroma to those whom we come in contact with.  Then, when people say “You’ve just been ___________ “ (fill in the blank with your name) it will be a joyful thing rather than one that makes you write your own psalm of sorrow.

Let’s pray!

Dear Lord, for all of the times I have left a bad taste in others’ mouths, hearts, and minds I am so sorry!  I know I cannot change the past but the present?  Oh yes, Father, with Your help and guidance, I can “Stefanie” others so that indeed they think they have been around someone special, someone lovely, and someone unforgettably gorgeous inside and out.

This is my prayer and I ask it so that I may reflect more and more of You, through Christ Jesus, the most lovely of all.  Amen.