In Another's Eyes

Isn’t it amazing to know what other people think about you, to see yourself through their eyes while they see someone totally different than the you you thought you were?

Case in point:  yesterday at the dermatologist’s office when getting my annual checkup, I was not happy.  Fearful.  My trepidation was at an all-time high because...well, just sometimes you know that there is going to be something found that you wished was not in existence.  I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve (no matter how many times I try to wear a garment that is sleeveless!) and as I was being examined, the nursing assistant glibly said, “See.  We’re 40% done and no problems yet!”  During the preliminary account of why I was there, I had explained to her that trouble loomed.  Though I said it jokingly, the underlying uneasiness was there, just under the surface, but we were strangers and she didn’t really pick up on it.

“Yeah,”   I said, “but now we’re getting to my face.  That’s where the problems start.”  I still had on my smile but my anxiety was pushing its way up.

Katie, my doctor who apparently had been given the preliminary account of why I was there for today’s visit, continued her exam, murmuring what she thought were encouraging words.  I tried to follow her lead as each troubled area I had notified the nurse of beforehand turned out to be fine.  “Great!  Maybe the rest won’t be bad either.  Oh, I hope that they won’t; that it’s just my imaginations.”  

The banter continued, even when she started getting closer and closer with that magnifying glass.  The two spots I thought were going to do me in?  Well, sure, that one could use a little freezing--just to be safe-- and the other one, the one she could barely see, it was fine too, Katie said, and I breathed a sigh of relief.  As I exhaled and explained how usually twice a week I had to flake off the what-I-hoped-were-just-dry-skin-particles of my flesh, Katie said “You are the most hopeful person I know!  Every time I see you, you are full of hope that these places aren’t going to be bad.”  Dumbfounded, my eyes found Steve’s as I looked at him with my “Does-this-woman-know-me-at-all” baby blues that reflected my perplexed thoughts.

Long story short, my fears were confirmed.  As Katie continued looking at that “nothing” spot and scraping it with her fingernail, she determined it indeed needed to be biopsied.  Great.  And then, as if that wasn’t enough, she found another place above my lip that greatly concerned her.  I hadn’t even noticed it and felt the dread rise again.  Basal cell.  99% sure it would need the Moh’s Surgery.  Katie fixed her eyes on Steve as my “hopeful” words that maybe it was just a fluke faded into my own private chamber of terror.

Sigh.

You know that verse from 2 Corinthians 13:5 about examining yourself?  It was running through my head as I questioned how I could have missed this spot, how it was so obvious to my doctor and yet Steve nor I had even given it a passing glance.  Seriously, I have had four Moh’s surgeries on my face, as well as the “blue light special” that was supposed to remove so many of these precancerous blights.  Not to even mention all of those places I had already had frozen off from my face.  So, how in the world could I have missed this one?!

{Sidebar:  this also makes the verse about seeing the mote in my brother's eye and missing the plank in my own (Matthew 7:5)}

Sigh.

“You are the most hopeful person I know.”  That was Katie’s take on me when she had begun my routine exam.   She saw something in me that I didn’t.  And I don’t just mean the basal cell.  Her appraisal of me--outwardly--revealed a hopeful soul that looked for the good, that hoped for better things to come, and one who was ready and willing to push aside the things that try to make one stumble.  We see each other roughly once a year (well, twice if you count when I go back for the follow-up surgeries that are performed by her colleague).  Somehow when I am with this kind lady I have projected an attitude that is pleasing.  She saw good in me.

As mentioned above, when I had inspected myself, I didn’t find this blight on my skin that is going to require further attention.  I saw other infractions that in Katie’s eyes weren’t there or were only superficial.  Things gals like me have to deal with as a part of life but that don’t take away from the quality of my life as a whole.

Is any of this making sense?  Katie--with her trained eyes and advanced understanding of the human body--saw things from my soul that I had failed to believe existed.  Katie--again, with her trained eyes--also saw things that needed fixed, that needed more help than she could give.  Her part was to evaluate.  It’s up to the surgeon to remove the cancer.  Kind of like what God does to us, right?  We see in part; He sees in whole.  We examine ourselves but He is Who fixes us.  Our wounded flesh and our deeply rooted sins can only be removed by God.  While we deal with the exterior, He takes care of the interior areas of our beings that need His expert touch.

In closing, I appreciate the words Katie spoke to me that made me reflect more on how I present myself to the world.  Yes indeed, man does look on the outward appearance.  However, every once in a while, man sees something more, something truer, and something that helps him to believe there is more than meets the eye.  Katie saw me as being not just hopeful, but “the most hopeful” person she has met.  Wow.  She sees me once a year and has made this assumption.  What about those who see me more often? What am I projecting to them?  Is it positive or negative? Do I let Jesus out or keep Him buried deep inside?  Hmn hmn hmn.

Let’s pray!

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.  Lord, the words to this song are meaningful in that Christ Jesus is the only avenue of hope.  Man cannot save me or fix me or assure me.  Only You can.  

As I go through my days, remind me that others only get small pieces of me, outward showings that they judge me by.  Oh Lord:  help me to reflect You and not my own negativity, my own weaknesses, nor my own sinful self.  Shine through me, Lord, so that others see You when glancing my way.  Speak through me so that they hear Your voice of love, of strength, of compassion.  Seep through me, Father, that Your presence comes through every pore of my being and draws others to You is my plea.  I ask these things in the name of Christ Jesus:  amen!

Day Twenty-One

Day Twenty-One

When I first read these verses this morning, I was so excited!  To hear that Jesus chose me long before I was even a DNA cell from ancestors that I’ll never meet this side of heaven. Jesus chose me.

Me.  What a humbling thought.  For so much of my life I have been the one chosen last.  I was the one who was not remembered when the party invitations were being sent out.  I was the one who spent her Friday and Saturday nights home alone while my friends were out dating.  I was Poor Pitiful Stef--except the devil had me believing I wasn’t even worthy of that title, for who even thought of me at all?

Well, Devil, guess what?  I’m on to you now.  I know your devices and tricks and schemes to make me feel less than.  I know your attempts to belittle me worked for a long while as I grew up through those horrid high school years and felt like the outsider.  I lived as the black sheep of my family for most of the years that it was still considered to be a nucleus.  I even let you beat me down during my teaching career as you worked your little games on me and my psyche to tell me how unsuccessful I was.

However, as I read these wonderful words of life--of life!!--I am again reminded that these light and momentary trials here on this earth are exactly that:  temporary.  They don’t last and those hurt feelings of my past days on it don’t even add up when put beside of those prepared for me.  For me!  Just as God chose me before the foundations of the world, His Son Jesus Christ is working now on my special place in heaven.  Personally, He is doing this.  He told me so when He said He’d go to prepare a place for me in His Father’s house.  

In conclusion, read these verses again, putting your name where applicable.  And remember:  if it were not so, He would have told you.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Who has blessed Stefanie in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as He chose Stefanie in Him before the foundation of the world, that Stefanie should be holy and blameless before Him.  In love He predestined Stefanie for adoption as a daughter through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, with which He has blessed Stefanie in the Beloved.  In Him Stefanie has redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of Stefanie’s  trespasses, according to the riches of His grace…”

Pretty groovy, huh? Let’s pray!

My Father Who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name.  Your kingdom come; your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Thank You for my daily bread and the forgiveness of my trespasses.  Lead me not into temptation and keep that evil one far from me.  Deliver me, Lord, for Yours is the kingdom, and the power, and all glory goes to You.  Amen!

Propitiation? What in the world does that mean?

Day Three of the June Scripture Writing Plan

How familiar are you with these expressions:  "Knowledge is power," "Never stop learning," and "The more I know the less I understand"?  Most of us have heard these or something similar to them for quite a while now.

Next question:  how do you learn?  Some of us are old school and we have to see it, read it, and then try it for ourselves.  Others can watch a quick video and then mimic the lesson laid out with little difficulty.  And others of us do it the hard way.  Time after time after time we practice the task at hand until one day it all comes together, makes sense, and we are able to move on to the next piece of instruction.

John was a patient teacher.  I guess it's because he had been so close to Christ he was able to share those characteristics he had been exposed to.  In his first epistle, chapter two, he begins with these words "My little children, I am writing these things so that you may not sin."  He goes on to explain what happens when one is unable to stay on track through the next three and a half verses, which are what today's reading and writing plan are about:

"But if anyone does sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous.
He is the propitiation for our sins, and not ours only but also for the sins of the whole world."  {Can you not just imagine the expression in John's voice as he writes these words of wisdom?}
"And by this we know that we have come to know Him if we keep His commandments.
Whoever says 'I know Him' but does not keep His commandments is a liar, and truth is not in him."

Now, if I was sitting under John's teaching, I'd already have a couple of questions, the first one being "what is a propitiation?"  Per Theopedia.com, "Propitiation means the turning away of wrath by an offering. In relation to soteriology, propitiation means placating or satisfying the wrath of God by the atoning sacrifice of Christ."

Oh yeah.  Sure.  That clears it up.  

Thankfully, when I delve a little deeper, the definition goes on to say "In 1 John 2:2; 4:10, Christ is called the 'propitiation for our sins.' Here a different Greek word is used, hilasmos. Christ is 'the propitiation,' because by His becoming our substitute and assuming our obligations He expiated our guilt, covering it by the vicarious punishment which He endured. "

Um, I still need a little more help with "expiated."  So, here's the rest of it ("Seek and ye shall find" really works!):  

"Propitiation literally means to make favorable and specifically includes the idea of dealing with God’s wrath against sinners. Expiation literally means to make pious and implies either the removal or cleansing of sin. 

The idea of propitiation includes that of expiation as its means; but the word 'expiation' has no reference to quenching God’s righteous anger. The difference is that the object of expiation is sin, not God. One propitiates a person, and one expiates a problem. Christ's death was therefore both an expiation and a propitiation. By expiating (removing the problem of) sin God was made propitious (favorable) to us."

Sigh.  It's a tad bit complicated, huh, and one could easily throw up her hands and just skim over this passage in hopes of gleaning the lesson elsewhere?  I was tempted to as well.  However, if it was easy, everyone would do it.  We all know the Christian walk is far from simple so just as I challenged you a few days ago to join me in this month-long study, I challenge you now to get in there and stay in there.  Don't quit reading the Bible when the words get tough.  There is absolutely no excuse in today's time with the resources we have at our fingertips to not go deeper when the answer is not always obvious.

In conclusion--yes, without further explanation of these four verses--today I encourage you to take advantage of John's teaching and see why it is he wrote what he wrote.  After all, how are you going to learn if you don't use what has been given to you?  How will you know if you don't study?  "Study to show thyself approved" was my life verse last year.  I'm still endeavoring for that "Well done, Stef" from my Lord.  Have you gotten your A+ yet?  

Let's pray!

Dear Lord, I know I was in a different tone than normally used but for some reason I felt the need to motivate my readers to get in Your Word and stop hearing things second-handedly.  Please bless us as we seek You and learn things in a deeper way than just the superficial things we often hear but don't take the time to apply.  Have patience with us, Father, as we try to know Your truths so that we aren't liars, aren't babies, but instead use our God-given knowledge to be more wise than ever before.  I ask these things in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

All the world is a stage

Mordecai sent word to Esther to tell her "...For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance... will arise from another place... And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?" 

I have a few things to share with you all to ponder as Super Bowl 50 has been completed and the stage has been set for much of the world to see and hear who claimed victory and how the loser would handle defeat.  Stick with me a few moments?  Thanks!

Disappointed?  Mmn, a bit.  Disgruntled?  Nope; that's not quite the word I'm looking for.  Disheartened?  Yeah, but only because I had built him up to my pastor and a few others due to his comments on his faith that I recently read.  Disgusted?  No, that's not the word either, although my mind is a bit perturbed.  Disillusioned?  Maybe.  Maybe that's what I felt when I heard Peyton Manning last night as he told the millions of folks watching what he was going to do to celebrate the win over the Carolina Panthers:  

"I'll take some time to reflect," he said. "I have a couple of priorities first. I want to go kiss my wife and my kids. I want to go hug my family. I'm going to drink a lot of Budweiser tonight, I promise you that. I'm going to take care of those things first, and say a little prayer to thank the man upstairs for this great opportunity."

And then there was Cam Newton.  No, that sure wasn't his greatest game but does one game define you?  Of course not!  Read here the text his mother sent to him before the game began:

 "I understand that hot and cold water comes out of different fountains. You are neither hot or cold. You have a big platform. Which fountain are you? Don't let the devil win over your words or speech that represents the dark world. But represent the awesome God you serve through your words. ... You win with your character and powerful words you speak.'' 

Sadly though, Cam's words were not powerful--or at least not in the way that they could have been.  They sent a message all right.  However, it was not the one I had hoped to hear.  Another example--like Peyton's--of a wasted opportunity to use the platform of his celebrity.  "I'm done," Cam said, as he walked out of the press conference, to the chagrin of many, myself included, as I waited for some praise for his teammates and fans.  Sadly, his emotions were too unsteady so he walked away instead of choosing to build up what the other team had taken down.

But wait a minute, Stef.  Peyton did acknowledge his thanks for God!

Did he now?  Really?  'Cause when I heard him mention "the man upstairs" I wasn't sure if he was referring to God or to George Jefferson.  I mean, seriously?  Seriously, after eighteen seasons in the NFL, after countless wins and healings from the various injuries, and after all of those prayers he said he prays, he refers to God as "the man upstairs" instead of the Savior of his life?  What a horrible waste!  Think of the beer he planned to drink.  He had no trouble specifying which brand that was.  Could he have not clued in some of the watching world which man it was that he was going to thank for this tremendous win?

Shame on Peyton Manning!  Shame on Cam Newton for walking out of the press conference after all he and his team had accomplished this season!  Two men from each end of the spectrum with one humongous opportunity to let the world know that win or lose, all glory goes to God.  And neither did.  What I would have given for a stage such as theirs to...

To what, Stef?  To show what God means to you?  To share the miracles He's worked on your behalf?  To proclaim that none of this would be possible except for His mercy and grace?  To tell that despite the outcome of the game, you were on the winning team?  To thank Him proudly and yet humbly before mankind for saving your soul?

Yeah, something like that.  And while I don't have a huge audience, I do have this podium and with as much as is in me, with as much ability and determination that I can muster, and with all grace coming from Christ Jesus, I purpose to use my Wandering Through The Bible page to do so.  May I not waste the stage before me is my heart's earnest desire.  Before the curtain falls on my final act, I pray that God will use me to spread His Word, His love, and His encouragement to all who read this blog.  

In closing, don’t be a Cam.  Don’t be a Peyton.  Don’t waste the moments you are given to share the good news of Christ Jesus.  William Shakespeare penned it well all those years ago when he declared that all of the world's a stage.  The audience is watching you, watching me.  Will we get a standing ovation at the end, be asked back for an encore, or will they throw tomatoes at us?  Will they demand their money back and rue the day they placed any faith in us?  Will our performances be those “once-in-a-lifetime” events that are never forgotten or will their heads bow in shame, the way mine is, because faith was placed in man rather than Jesus?

Let’s pray!

Dear Lord, what could have been done in Your Name versus what actually was causes my heart to hurt.  To rage.  To judge.  However, Lord, as I so often do when faced with such emotion, it also makes me reflect on my own actions and what is lacking in them.  Father, please forgive all the times I let You down by not giving You my first fruits.  I’m sorry for the neglected minutes that could have been spent giving acclaim to You when I instead took glory for myself and as an afterthought remembered that oh yeah, this wouldn’t have been possible without You?  What a wretched lot we are, Lord!  How do You put up with us?

Sigh.

Help us, Lord?  Again?  And again?  And again?  We need You so!  Remind us, Father, that in spite of our failings, when You see us, You see Your Son.  You aren’t disappointed in us when we fall.  Nope, instead You sweep us back into Your arms, kiss away our tears, brush off our dirt, and place us in upright positions so that we may stand for You and give it another try.  

Thank You for such mercy.  For such grace.  To say “I love You” is small but because of how You first loved, it’s enough.  I love You, Lord God.  I love You.  Amen.