Paid in Full

Last weekend, I had lunch with some family members to celebrate the hub's and his aunt's birthdays.  The date had been set well in advance.  The place was chosen.  The time was set.  Guests were invited and we even had two more unexpectedly but happily show up.  

The meal was prepared and the anticipation was at its peak as it soon was time for the presents to be handed out.  Even ones whose special day it was not supposed to be received gifts.  The cake was candled, the ♫Happy Birthday♪ song sung, said candles were blown out after wishes were made, cake was passed around and devoured, and then came the climax of the event:  the waitress brought the check.

Virginia had already whispered to me that she and my uncle wanted to pay.  I whispered back "Had I known that I would have ordered the steak!"  It was all fun and games until it was time to settle up.  I distracted our aunt and grabbed the check, because I wanted to pay.  After all, it was her special day--and my hubby's--and too often they have bought our dinners and suppers.  

While I've known this woman for over thirty years, that day I saw Virginia do something I had never seen her do before:  she got up and stormed off.  I was mortified!  She has always been peaceful and peace loving, always avoided conflict of any kind, and again, I was dumbfounded.  I quickly interrupted the other end of the table where Steve was, told him what had happened, and he immediately went to see to her.  His cousin just kind of watched it all, seeming nonplussed about it, and I sat there, miserable, and wondering how this was all going to turn out.

Fast forward to yesterday's morning Bible Study.  The topic was sacrifice and the girls and I discussed some of the things Christ gave up so that we could one day be with Him.  God too had a date prepared for a  life-changing event.  He invited many to come.  He presented His Son as the present, and the preparations were all in order.  Imagine His hurt, His dismay, His disappointment when the guests did not arrive.  Feel His betrayal as many tried to pay their own way instead of accepting what was freely being offered. See the dismay in His eyes as the guests grumbled amongst one another over who was really the special one there.  In great anticipation this meal had been prepared.  But...but what if in His righteous anger, His holy disappointment, His refusal to accept others trying to pay for something that only He could, what if He--what if He too walked away?  What if He'd said He'd been planning this all along and this was what gave Him pleasure and that He wanted to do this for His children whom He loved and instead, instead that payment was taken out of His hands, rejected if you will?  What if He thought to Himself  "Enough!  I've planned.  I've sacrificed.  I've been looking forward to this for a long time but obviously these people refuse to accept what I so freely give?  Bah!  Enough!  I quit!"

Scary, huh?

Okay, I think you all get the picture so I'll wrap this up.  Soon Steve and Virginia came back to the table, smiling, her with check in hand because she was successful in making the final payment for the group.  She kissed me and hugged me and again reiterated how she'd really wanted to do this.  Harmony abounded and I've got the photos to show for it. 

As far as Jesus, though, and His invitation to pay your bill?  Now, that's something you and He will have to work out, if you haven't already done so.  He could have walked away from the cross.  All of His "friends" did, deserted Him in His hour of need, and though He could have called 10,000 angels, He stayed.  He paid your bill.  And mine.  His sacrifice for our salvation.  He's planning another event, you know.  The Marriage Supper of the Lamb.  I can't wait to dine with Him, can you?  Wonder if He'll have cake, with candles on it to make a wish?  Ahh, probably not.  The candles, I mean (fingers crossed for the cake!).  Us being there to celebrate with Him is the greatest present.  Unfathomable, huh?

Let's pray!

Dear Lord God, as I contemplate these three events, I am filled with so much emotion.  First, I thank You for once again revealing Yourself to me in the common, everyday activities.  I see You when I look for You and am continually enlightened to the many different ways You reach out to Your children.

Next, God, I thank You for this gift of Jesus.  I cannot help but feel unworthy and it's hard for me to not try to pay You back in some way but we both know I cannot even come close to this priceless present.  So, I will honor You, Father, with my life and do my best through the righteousness of Christ in me to share His story and lead others to You.

Lastly, Lord God, I thank You for not walking away.  You stayed.  You remain constant.  You don't change, nor does Your love for Your people.  Thank You for being this way and loving so intensely.  My hope is that I too can have such passion for those You place in my life, Father, and love them the way You have and do still love me.  In the name of Jesus Christ I pray this:  amen.

Can Good People Go To Heaven?

Can good people go to heaven?  I'm serious!  Can those who have been good for as long as they can remember actually make it to heaven?

No.

What?!  What in the world are you writing to us today, Stef?  What kind of blasphemy is this?

It's not a lie, friends.  But I'm afraid too many people I know have become a victim of it.  For you see, you have to be a sinner to be saved.  And from what I am witnessing lately, too many of those close to me are just too good.  They haven't horrible pasts nor skeletons lurking in their closets.  They have lived a good and upright life:  going to church weekly, staying faithful to one person, raising the required 2.5 kids.  They go to work without fail.  They pay all of their bills and are model citizens, voting in each election, attending all of the right meetings and conferences that are community related.  They keep their yards meticulously, their cars without dirt, and their smiles are always in place as they call out to me when I see them on the streets, in the stores, next door.  What's best yet is often they also come from perfect parents who never drank, swore, nor cheated and...you guessed it:  they have themselves reproduced perfect children who are the bedrock of the schools, the star athletes, the A students, the chorus and band standouts.  None of these would know sin if it came up, introduced itself, and declared it had been hiding behind their facades so that they would be fooled into thinking they ever had need of a Saviour.

Oh come on Stef!  If these folks were bad, don't you think they'd repent?  That they'd confess?  I mean, after all--as you stated above--they are in church every time the doors are opened.  Don't you think if they were lost, they'd know it by now?  Do you not believe the Word of God has been preached to them and at some point It convicted them and they made a profession of faith?

No.  Sigh.  I don't.

I do think that yes, the Word has been preached to them.  Yes, they made a profession of faith, got baptized, joined their family's church (ahem), and live their lives without blemish and their reputations are soild.  Wait: my fingers typed the wrong word.  That should be "solid" but... Freudian slip, perhaps?  "Soild" looks a lot like "soiled" doesn't it?  Hmn.  Makes me wonder if these wonderful saints have ever been tainted, have ever been sullied by the world, and if--yes, I'm going to say it again--if they have ever sinned.

Just as a doctor cannot heal you until you admit you are sick, a Saviour cannot redeem you until you acknowledge you are lost.  When I feel good, you will not find me at the Urgent Care center seeking treatment.  I don't go there to have my blood pressure monitored because I don't have issues with it.  I don't routinely visit the Cancer Centers because I am not suffering from this debilitating disease (thank God!).  You won't find me at the hospital either, undergoing scans and tests because, you see, I am healthy.  However, when you do examine me, you will see me often at the House of God.  You will find me actively participating in the sermons and lessons as I write down notes and thoughts that I later follow up on.  You will often hear me (sorry, but it's true) lifting my voice in songs of praise and petitions.  You can visit me in my Pretty Purple Room and see my Bible opened to a new page almost every day (and no, it's not because it's in front of a window and the breeze changes the pages).  Lastly, you will hear me at night with my husband, praying, pondering, and pleading for more knowledge, more wisdom, temperance, and help.  So much help.  Why?  Because I am a sinner.  Not "was" a sinner but "am" a sinner.  In my own self, I am beyond wretched and my condition can only be treated by the Great Physician Who long ago called me to Himself.  

I had to admit I needed Him.  I couldn't help but share with Jesus how awful I had been and how I was afraid would continue to be bad without some help.  I had to tell Him that in my own self I was helpless, lost, and without hope.  And then?  Then it was easy!  I just had to accept His pardon.  I just had to realize Christ Jesus was in control and that my life was not about what He could do to clean me up:  it was instead what He could do to mold me into His image so that others to could come to a saving knowledge that they too were--are!!--in need of Him as well.

Let me back up a moment and reiterate that it wasn't "easy" to let go of me.  In parts.  I had a lot of baggage that I kept trying to carry into this new relationship but you know what?  I didn't need those clothes of despair!  I didn't need the trunks of broken dreams and unrealized hopes.  I didn't need the letters of reminders of who I used to be for I was now a new creation.  Lastly, I didn't need those chips on my shoulder that I was carrying around and being weighed down by.  They kept me stooped over when my eyes only needed to be on Jesus.  So... eventually, I let them go.  It would have been easier had I (like Brother Matthew aka Levi, The Tax Collector) just left it all behind without a second glance and joyfully accepted the new life, the forgiveness of my sins, and not rehashed them all with Christ through the next several years.  I tend to be a little slow sometimes and refuse to take help when I am too stubborn to think that I need any.  Or too prideful.  Or don't want to put someone out with my problems.  

Do you see where I am going, friends?  If not, let my try to sum it up here.  

1. I am not a saint.
2. I am a sinner.
3. I can not save myself.
4. I need salvation, forgiveness, and sanctification.
5. Jesus offered it to me.
6. I accepted!
7. I have been redeemed!

Let's pray!

Lord, please make a message out of this jumbled mess of thoughts of mine and use these words to let others know--to know, Lord!--that none of us are good.  Yes, in our own selves, we try to live lives that are blameless and we do our best to not cause waves and to be humble and quiet and mind our own business.  But Lord?  Lord, even if we do all of this, there is still need for You.  There, sadly, is still sin in our lives.  We can't escape it and we lie and fool ourselves if we think we are above it.

Help us to constantly be aware, Father God, that were we so good then You wouldn't have had to watch Your Son die such a violent and obscene death.  Easter was celebrated yesterday.  Don't let us wait another year to think of this tremendous sacrifice and contemplate the sinners around us but rather, Lord, help us to acknowledge the sin that so easily besets us on a daily basis.  Help us to see it's me, it's me, it's ME oh Lord.  I am the one who cost You Your Son.  It was my wickedness and pride and sin that made His crucifixion necessary.  

Thank You for this unspeakable gift of redemption, Father.  Thank You for saving me at Christ's expense.  Amazing love, how can it be, that You my King would die for me?  

Sigh.

 In the name of Jesus Christ, I again claim this gift and thank You so much for it.  Amen.