The 3 Ms

Lately I have had three prayer requests for those who ask how they can pray for me.  Each begins with the letter m to help make it easier for them.  Mouth, mind, and motivation.  These are the key areas of my life in which I strongly and urgently need divine assistance from.

My mouth often gets me into trouble.  It speaks without hesitation at times.  It spouts off bitter words rather than the sweet ones for which it was designed.  It responds in anger when something has been said to me that my flesh did not like.  Because I am a writer, my mouth is connected too closely to my fingers and like my lips, they don't always know when to stop.

My mind thinks about all of this as it happens.  It wonders and wanders about the best response.  In the space of a millisecond, it can rationalize, argue, and draw on past memories to send it into one orbit or another universe, all while battling against itself for the rightful response.

And there's where motivation comes in.  I can please the flesh or I can please the Father.  I don't always choose correctly.

This morning while reading Proverbs 15, verse 28 stood out to me.  It reads likes this:  The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.

A righteous heart is what I yearn for but too often have to contend with a self-righteous one instead.  Thus, my prayer request for the 3 Ms.  If my mouth will fall in line with my mind's thoughts--when they are seeking the good things, that is--my motivation for pleasing the Lord and reflecting a Christ-like attitude will all work together.  

Something happened yesterday and it really set me off.  I was in danger of losing control of my actions and fumed for quite a while.  The things I wrote and then deleted.  The thoughts I had that were filled with such meanness!  And let's not even talk about the self-recriminations for being so vile.

When my husband came home and we discussed our days, I of course had to share all of this with him.  Then, as he so often does, my hubby balmed my disquieted soul with this reminder from James:  Be angry and sin not.  

"Get mad," he said.  "Be furious!  God never said you couldn't be upset.  But tell Him.  Rant and rave to Him.  He can take it.  He can deal with your mean thoughts.  He can handle your unkind words.  They don't surprise Him and they don't lessen you in His eyes."  

Something like that.  Steve wasn't giving me a license to be Hate Goat Queen of the Year but he was validating my emotions and my right to them.  At the same time, he was reminding me that if I look for fault over one incident then I am probably going to have a wealth of material to draw from as I ruminate over the past mistakes of the one who infuriated me and before long an avalanche of bitterness may well up in me, taking me down a path that is not meant to be trod.  As I dwell on past infractions, my mind is filled with things that are not lovely, not good, and not Christlike.  

It's so easy for the devil to sidetrack me.  An innocent conversation can quickly turn into a place for him to stick his nasty foot and interrupt something good with insinuations, falsehoods, and damage my calm that was too easily blown away.  See why I need the 3 Ms prayed consistently and fervently for me?  Let's do that now, shall we, lest I ramble on and on?

Dear Lord, 

To begin with, I need to apologize to You for being such a late bloomer.  Things that have resonated with others for years I seem to have a harder time grasping and applying.  Controlling the tongue has been taught to me for years but somehow I keep failing the test.  You know how I strive to achieve success in this area but Father?  I keep faltering.

As I come to You now and ask for help with my mouth, my mind, and my motivation, I ask for You to implement Your Word more thoroughly into my life.  My aim is to be more like Jesus and when I miss the mark, Lord, it saddens me.  

Thank You for Your Word, Your mercy, and Your longsuffering as I continue this journey.  Thank You for the opportunities You place before me to do better.  May I do better today is my prayer.  Amen.

The Better Way

I feel that in retrospect, he’d take it all back if he could.  That he wish he’d never have said those words, those words that pierced my heart that was already wounded, that was already hurting.  I feel that if given the opportunity to do the whole sorry conversation over, I really believe he would have made better use of his words, of his emotions, and of his reactions.  Sadly though, once out there, those words just cannot be erased, cannot be wiped out with the backspace key, cannot be erased from the paper, cannot be blotted out nor have the White-Out applied to them for you see, when they roll off of the tongue without consideration, too often their permanence has been ingrained and the damage done.

That’s why I love the written word!  Ahh yes, the spoken word is great also but like mentioned above, once it’s been said, there are no take backs.  But when something is scribed with a pencil, with a keyboard, or with mini- strokes on a keypad there is always that opportunity to stop, to consider if that was the correct, the best word choice, or even if maybe the whole sentence should be erased.  Remember my “Letters That Have Never Been Sent” file?  Yeah, those letters are in a nice, safe place and not out there, wreaking havoc with my emotional thoughts and opinions and spewing venom and hurtful things.  They are in a drawer and/or computer file, and unable to hurt because the words penned in them have no target.

Whoa!  What happened to you?  You look like you’ve been in a bar fight!  

The words, if spoken by a friend, could more easily have been swallowed.  However, since they came from a stranger and since he cringed from my presence when seeing my bandaged face, they stung.  As I wrote above, in hindsight he more than likely would have controlled that beast of a tongue instead of it controlling him.  He probably would have offered some sympathy instead of expressing horror, making me feel like a freak.  He might even have questioned what happened to a sweet ol’ gal like me instead of assuming I had been out on the prowl, visiting in places I have no business of being in -- just as he had no business coming to my home with his agenda of selfishness.  I guess we’ll never know, huh?

As I close today, consider with me the passage from James 3:5-11.  Yeah, we’ve discussed it in this blog before and knowing me, it will come up again.  Nonetheless, my prayer for me and for you is that these words from scripture will permeate our hearts, lead us to consider our words, and to use our tongues for blessing and not cursing, for sweetness instead of bitterness.  When we see others--instead of passing immediate judgment and condemnation--let’s ponder for a moment or two that all may not appear as it seems to on the surface.  Jumping to conclusions and then voicing those opinions often leaves a trail of mayhem when if we’ll just be quiet, just think, then there’s a good chance we can make someone’s day a more positive one.  Amen?  Amen!

Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!  And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.  For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:  But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.  Therewith bless we God, even the Father;  nd therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing.  My brethren, these things ought not so to be.  Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?

Hush Your Mouth!

Remember that ‘80s TV show “Full House” that was on Friday nights for so long?  Yeah, the one they’ve recently made a remake of, “Fuller House” I believe is its name.  Anyways, remember the character Stephanie Tanner?  She’s the one who often could be heard saying “How rude!”

Recently...well, let’s face it. Nearly all of the conversations I have with folks these days I seem to be interrupted in.  A lot.  It exasperates me to no end!  Whatever happened to common courtesy?!  Seriously, and I know I am not the only one this happens to and yes, I confess, I am guilty of it myself (see, I can’t even write this blog for interrupting myself 😛) but isn’t it time to bring Miss Manners back into our lives?

I know we are all just such brilliant peoples with fascinating tales that come to mind when another soul is sharing her latest adventure or another person is discussing some brilliant truth recently revealed to him.  Why must we try to always one-up each other though?  Why must our stories be interjected into the conversation that was on a different topic just so that our wondrous activities could be inserted in where they don’t belong?  Why is what we have to say so much more important than what the other one is speaking about?

Sigh.

That’s all.  I could go on and on about this but I’d probably wind up offending myself as my good Stef argues and plays devil’s advocate with my evil twin.  Instead, I leave you with the thought of trying to control your tongue.  Yes, this is commanded in the Bible and has a usually different connotation with it as it teaches us to not let our thoughts become actions that cannot be taken back.  Hmn.  Maybe not so different after all, huh? James 3:8 tells us “But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”  ‘Restless evil?’  Indeed.  Let’s be peacemakers today, friends, and listen without interrupting others.   They just might surprise you with their knowledge for a change instead of constantly being your student.

Let’s pray!

Dear Lord, I know I may step on some toes this time but You know what, Father?  I am tired of being constantly bombarded with rude people!  Whether it is on the news as someone is interviewed with the alleged attempt of trying to find out that one’s opinion when the reality is the reporter just wants to incite anger or whether it is with friends or acquaintances who know better but just think their words are so much more important and necessary than the ones being spoken at the time.

Help us, God, to control our tongues, our minds, our actions.  We are Your children and You have taught us to be better than this even if our parents failed to do so.  We need to be courteous to one another, for when we aren’t, folks are turned off instead of being drawn to us.  They can’t see You when all we reflect is our own selves.  Help us to not try to out-talk another but to use the two ears we have and listen more.

Thank You, Father, for lessons learned.  May I be the one to first set this new old-fashioned way of being respectful back into existence.  In the name of Christ Jesus I pray.  Amen.