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September 2, 2014

Good evening. Usually I tend to blog in the morning but today...today I got caught up in too many memories as I tried to write so I put that one away in hopes that my words would be more pleasant and hopefully inspirational later in the day. As I looked through the pics I have in my folder to choose from, this one stood out to me. With it being September now, summer is coming to an end, and thoughts of burrowing up and canning those last bits of garden delights fill our minds. Many of us planted seeds of all different varieties and the harvest is plenty. Enjoying the fruits of our labors is the reward our Good Lord allows us. However, as we turn this blog now to spiritual seeds, let's take a moment and reflect on that farming. Were any of you involved in Bible School, mission trips, back-to-school events, and such? Many of those you encountered will not be in your daily realm but...But those seeds you planted, those verses you taught, those crafts you made with the kids, and all of those hugs you so joyfully doled out? Oh, what a wonderful field that one day will be, just ripe for the pickings! Can't you just imagine all of those sweet little kids one day coming up to you in Heaven, thanking you for teaching them about Jesus? No, you may not have lead them to Him but guess what? You did your part. You prayed for them, you put ideas of the greatest love of all in their sweet little minds, and mostly you showed them Jesus in the flesh when you reached out to them, loving them, and accepting them for the moments you were allowed with them. Thank you. Thank you! The workers are few. Thank you for doing your part!

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September 1, 2014 Heavy sigh. Deep breath. Fingers flexed. Another sigh. I think I can do this. Breathe. Again. Eyes closed in silent prayer, one more sigh, and...Here we go! Saturday was the reunion date for my elementary school. It started well enough and truthfully ended well. Even the in-between moments were pretty good. Twelve of the remaining twenty-eight of us were there and the ones who weren't able to attend were missed. Almost each of us brought some sort of family with us so, all-in-all, there were probably around thirty folks there. The weather was pleasant and we sat around the playground (not the one we had grown up on) on chairs and on the ground as we chatted, reminisced, and caught up with each other. Everyone seemed pleased to see the others. There was one of our former teachers who came and it was a joy to see her (even if she did think I was my sister at first). Not everyone arrived at the same time so it was pleasantly calm and unharried to catch up individually with the ones who meandered in. Of course there were a few tears as some of us talked about those whom we have lost. For some, it was parents. Others it was siblings, husbands, and some even had lost children of their own. But overall, the atmosphere was one of camaraderie and cheer. And then... And then there were the inevitable personal questions asked of me, such as how was my brother, my other sister. "What? You don't talk to them? You haven't seen them in years? Doesn't he still just live down the road?" Their simple questions turned into ones of doubt and confusion as I tried to explain without going into detail about how after my dad had died six years ago--and Mary following a mere four weeks later--that we grew further apart rather than pulling together. "But your mom has only been gone a couple of years now, right?" Yeah. Two years on September 3, to be concise. "She was always so sweet to me." "Was she," I asked, with just a touch of longing in my voice that caused them to look curiously at me. A tad uncomfortable, the topic then changed to my brother. Surely this one would get a better response, they thought. Until... "So, how's Billy? What's he up to these days?" Sigh. Trying to sound positive. "I don't know. I've not seen him in two years." "You haven't seen Billy since then?!" they asked in disbelief and mortification. They didn't know how hurtful their questions were as I tried to breeze through them as though it didn't matter. They didn't know that families do in fact fall apart and don't love you unconditionally. Not totally, anyways. Sure, some of them had had one or two black sheep but I don't think any of them were actually that rejected one themselves. The one not welcomed back to the fold. Where was Jesus at in all of this, anyways? He was there. He was there way back when all of the dysfunctions began and He is still here now. Agreeing to disagree is not exactly the phrase I'd use but...sometimes folks just have to part ways. Paul and Barnabas did, as well as Jacob and Laban. Not everyone is happy when this occurs but...sometimes love just isn't enough to allow folks to live peacably amongst each other. Sometimes-no matter how much it hurts and no matter how you wish it could be different--sometimes you just have to separate for the greater good. For your sanity, for your peace, for your soul's sake. It doesn't mean God doesn't care or that one was right over the other. It doesn't mean the love ended. It maybe just means that it doesn't have to hurt so much and therefore separation is the best road to take. It might not be the one you would have chosen but thankfully--hopefully!!--it isn't you who had to make that choice. Our journeys in life are different and the choices each of us make can't always please the majority. What's right in one's eyes isn't necessarily so in another's. And keep in mind that there are at least two sides to each story. Try not to judge, not to hear only half-truths, and try to love those--like me--whom you don't always understand. If you have questions, ask. Just be prepared though for answers you may not like. Sometimes they can change your whole thought process and either clear things up or make them muddier than before. Perhaps you are better off not knowing at all. There are many things I would like to unknow (is that even a word?)! Let's pray! Dear Lord, in a world where the roses don't always bloom and often have too many thorns to even make one want to stop and smell them, beauty still exists. Kindness is still offered. Growth--once weeds and bugs are removed--still goes on. And isn't that one bloom worthy of being noticed, of being cared for, of being cherished? Help us today, I pray, to be more sensitive to stories we may have heard and made false assumptions about. Help us to seek the truth but only if we are able to handle it. Some things truly are no one's business but others? Others Lord indeed need both sides to be made known in order for unity and truth to prevail. It isn't Your plan for Your children to be separated. Help us, Father, to love each other more than ourselves is my prayer, asked in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Perky Chaplains

August 19, 2014 I must confess: I was a bit put off by the chaplain's visit yesterday to Uncle Wayne's bedside. In she breezed, blonde hair in a loose pony tail, full of life, and a smile as big as Texas. Her voice was chirpy and her attitude was "I'm here. Let's get to business!" It didn't seem to matter to her that we were in the midst of a conversation or that she might be interrupting something. Oh no: she was here and she had a job to do. Introductions were short and to the point. Her focus was not on us but rather the fella in the bed who was on her list. Boldly she declared she was here to pray and before Wayne could quite acquiesce, off she went, murmuring some flighty, cheerful prayer about how in the name of Jesus we loved Him and praised Him; how she was declaring victory for Wayne to heal and to walk right out of this hospital, and again, how much we all loved the Lord. Seemed like she was in and out in a blink, as we all kind of stood back and wondered what had hit us. It bothered me. The more I pondered it, the more conflicted I became. I mean, seriously, who was this woman? Yeah, her tag said she was the chaplain but...Aren't chaplains supposed to be these more formal creatures who nod solemnly and sit you in a chair and pat your hand while you tell them all about it, whatever "it" may be? Aren't they supposed to linger and let you bog them down with all of your needs, as well as those of your loved one who is aching in his/her own right? And that prayer? Ridiculous! How dare she assume we all love Jesus and that our number one desire was for Wayne to be healed so that he could indeed walk out of the hospital, even though his paralysis barely allowed him half of a body to use? And what was with all of this "Praise Jesus" stuff? Didn't she know that we were in a storm and rejoicing in this suffering was not our number one priority? Okay faithful readers, you know what is coming next. Ol' Stef is about to be corrected. Gently, 'cause that's the way her Lord is. This morning in my inbox I had a prayer request from someone I don't know, asking me to join with her in prayer about a personal matter. I sighed within myself as I thought once again, "How am I supposed to pray for someone that I don't know, that I don't know what is wrong with specifically, and to pray in a way that is helpful and encouraging?" Yeah, you guessed it. Ding ding ding! We have a winner! It's really quite easy, isn't it? There is a request, a need, a cry for help (even if the cry barely comes out as a whisper). There is someone nearby who is in touch with our Father, who knows how great He is and how worthy He is of praise in good times and in the bad ones too. He promised to hear us when two or more gather in His name. He is the Great Physician so how absolutely foolish it would be to not ask Him to use His healing powers on our loved ones! Okay, I got it. Again, Lord. Miss Breezy Blonde Chaplain from yesterday: I am sorry. I misjudged you, criticized your cheerful attitude (which in hindsight was really quite pleasant when there was so much sobriety in the air), and brushed off your cavalier attitude of going from room to room as "just a job" rather than as a calling to spread light, to spread cheer, to offer hope, and to talk to Jesus on people's behalfs when they may not have the words to utter and can only hold on to your hand for hope, for relief. Sigh. Please forgive me Lord, for doubting this gal's intentions. Thank You for putting her in my path for a reason: to be both a blessing and a lesson. May she continue to shine brightly for You in her calling and I pray that many more are blessed by this sweet lady. In Jesus' name I pray, with head bowed low in shame but rising as I see the Light. Amen!