Consolation to Condemnation

I’d like to share with you a couple of things I’m learning from my study of the Book of Job.  Currently, Steve and I just finished chapter eight and I must say, there’s a lot of Job--and unfortunately, his friends--in me.

For those not familiar with this book, Job was an upright man that was considered by Satan to be tested for his faith in God.  God permitted this trial and the results are ones left for those of us who often wonder why He allows “good people” to suffer.  After losing all of his worldly possessions and his family, Job had three friends come by to commiserate with him.  And here’s where today’s blog lesson starts.

Job’s friends heard of his calamity and did what most try to do when disaster strikes:  they showed up.  However, unlike most in today’s time, these pals came to Job and sat with him for seven days.  Seven days!  No talking, no advice, no offers of help.  They just sat with him, speaking no words.  Goodness!  Can you imagine doing this for seven minutes?  I cannot but these buddies?  They did it for seven days!!  They shared with Job their presence when his grief must have surely been unbearable.

I wonder about them as they sat there.  Did they make lots of mental notes for the words that would soon come from their mouths?  Did they surreptitiously draw pictures in the sand to remind them to bring up such and such story so that when the time came, they wouldn’t leave anything out?  Oh, the memories they must have had!  Job had seven sons and three daughters and I am sure they left numerous impressions upon these beloved “adopted uncles” of theirs.

But here’s the point for today that I want to share with you:  Job’s friends went from consoling their crony to (gulp!) condemning him, his children, and his actions.  “If you had done this, Job,” or “If your son had not sinned so,” to “What did you do to God, Job?” and “If it was me, I would have…” blah blah blah.  Wow:  what an abrupt change of tone, huh?  One day they are sitting around crying with Job over these unfathomable losses and before too long, they are adding to his woes by berating him over what he had done wrong, what his kids did to bring on their untimely deaths, what sins he must repent over to get God’s blessings back, and so many more utterances that it still makes my head spin.  As if we could do anything to win God’s favor!  But that’s another story.  

I’ll close with this nugget of gold I received from portions of these first chapters of Job.  For you see, I am guilty of this type of behavior too.  When someone I care about has suffered a loss--whether a family member, a job, a friendship, or what have you--I am ashamed to admit it but I too often wonder what their part in this was to bring such sadness into their lives.  Maybe if they didn’t show so much cleavage in their Facebook pictures they could have attracted the right sort of man instead of that loser.  Perhaps if they had disciplined their kids better then they wouldn’t have gotten into so much trouble.  If they were more spiritual instead of being so religious then maybe they wouldn’t have lost their position.  The money foolishly spent on “I-gotta-have-it-now” items would have come in handy for the phone bill.  The list could go on and on.

Instead of saying these things out loud, shouldn’t I be praying for my friends, for their needs, and for their spiritual growth?  Shouldn’t I be silent about this for at least seven days, like Job’s friends were, instead of opining my great wisdom and offering unasked for advice?  Yeah, I think so too.  Keeping one’s mouth shut and controlling the tongue before unsolicited “help” comes out would save this world a lot of grief rather than adding to it.  Spiritual duct tape, cover my mouth is my prayer today.

Dear Lord, for all the times I condemned instead of consoled, I humbly ask forgiveness.  Yes, most of it was in my mind but Lord?  I shouldn’t let such negativity invade a time of need when my beloved is hurting.  S/he doesn’t need my words, only my presence, my pats of understanding, my shared tears, my silence.  I’m sure the devil is giving enough grief to this soul without me adding to the guilt being offered by him.  Help me control my tongue and my thoughts, I ask, Lord so that I may be a blessing and not a blight.  In the name of Jesus Christ I ask these things:  amen.