That's Cool

Jackie and Hyde, from the sitcom "That '70s Show" taught me a lesson years ago that I put on the back burner but thankfully my photographic-memory-husband reminds me of frequently.  For you see, I suffer from a disease known as Stef Pity.  It's the kind of illness that affects my mind, heart, and sense of reason.  It happens when I take my eyes off of God and put them on myself.  It occurs frequently when I listen to the world and let its cares bog me down.  Click on the link above and watch as a young girl learns to not take life so seriously.

There's a verse in Ecclesiastes 7:21 that begins "...do not take to heart everything people say..."  Being that I am the sensitive soul, you can see why I catch Stef Pity often in my lifetime.  The symptoms are easy to spot:  whinyness, watery eyes from peepers that have seen too much, dull hearing from ears that have been listening to the wrong speakers, feet that won't get up and go because when they do, troubles await.  Other side-effects of Stef Pity include poor attitude, lack of luster, and chills that are a result from the coldness that sets into my heart.

So, surely there must be some cure for this disease, right?  Also, is it contagious?  What can I do to protect myself from falling victim to this sickness?

Good questions!  Yes, there is a cure.  Yes, it is contagious--deathly so.  The best ways to prevent yourselves from catching it are complicated but when combined with the Great Physician's prescription, you have a wonderful chance of survival and the ability to live a complete and fruitful life.  How?  How can you not fall prey to this infirmity?  Read and practice the following directions:

• Avoid foolish people
• Keep your mind clean from wayward thoughts
• Wash your soul several times throughout the day with the Word of God (the powers of its ability to clean are legendary)
• Stay busy (idle hands are the devil's playground and just think of all of the cooties out there when you are frolicking about on the swingset and such)
• Pray often, keeping your attention on God rather than the members of the Stef Pity Support Groups
• Whatever.  Don't take life too seriously.  Solomon told us himself that it's all vanity so eat, drink, and be merry.  

Merry, not sad.  Not seclusive.  Not hidden away so your lights can't shine.  Light dispels the darkness, you know.  Go shine on those afflicted with Stef Pity and illuminate the Jesus that is just waiting for them to go to Him for the ultimate healing.  The cure is in you, folks.  Don't let those you care most about fall victim to Stef Pity.  Love is infectious.  Be a carrier!

First

Directions.  Instructions.  We need them to make life decisions.  From following a recipe to finding our way around with a map, we need to know where to go, when to go, and what things might be encountered along the way.

For a couple of months now, I have been troubled by a situation.  Though I pondered, prayed, and pouted about it I just couldn't get any relief and whatever efforts I made to make it better for myself, I found I was getting nowhere.  Yeah, I had "The Book" and I had a great adviser to talk it through with me.  I did several studies and spent much time agonizing over the best course of action.  One thing kept nagging at me through this ordeal.  I didn't want to do it that way though so I kept ignoring it.  

Like many great concoctions I have made and baked, and like many trips to different adventures without quite knowing the right pathway to take, I decided to do it on my own.  A tweak here, a detour there and the end result was good.  Not the way the picture showed but still, I made it.  It tasted good and the walk on the wild side, on the road less taken, still got me where I was headed.

First.  First.  That word kept nagging at me though.  Sigh.  Like when the recipe tells you to first soften the butter at room temperature.  Like when the directions tell you there is a detour ahead but in your haste, you forge ahead anyways, thinking by the time you get there, that mess will be cleaned up.  Oh sure, you can use the butter that's not yet ready and the whole cake will still taste fine, if you don't mind the fact that you might encounter a lump or two of fluff where the ingredients didn't quite stick together correctly.  You won't win the blue ribbon for it though.  And you can drive that beaten path and then fume when the detour signs abound and cause you to backtrack because you didn't read the directions.  You didn't do what was first required.

Jesus had a few things He said we should do first, before attempting to get the rest of the job done.  First we had to do certain works--whether that meant plucking some beams from eyes, gathering some tares, seeking, reconciling, and/or binding--before we could receive the ultimate prize.  And guess what?  When one does these things, the end result has a happier ending!  Less time is wasted.  More production occurs.  Vision gets sharper.  The projects get completed.

Next time you are faced with a task, read the directions, friends.  That trip you are planning?  Seek first that the pathway is indeed clear.  Don't be a Stefanie.  


Let's pray!

Father, as I reflect on the time I wasted on something that should have been resolved in a matter of moments--a day at most--I am ashamed that I did not do what Jesus said to do first.  I learned a great lesson though, Lord, and for that I thank You.  Like a turtle, I can be slow but...but like a growing child, I can learn.  Thank You for the wisdom gained and gleaned.  May I never stop learning--especially to do things right the first time.  In the name of Jesus I pray.  Amen.

But I Didn't Do It!!

Do you ever mix up Bible verses or take them out of the context for which their purpose is actually meant?  Me too!  

Case in point:  as you read the two passages pictured, you can see how similar they are.  They both deal with wayward brothers (and sisters).  They both deal with how to handle issues that are in need of reconciliation.  They both deal with (gulp) you being the one to go try to rectify the situation so that peace may be restored.  Yes:  you.  Even though the “brother” may be the one with the problem, you are to go to him.  

Okay Stef, I don’t think I like where this is going.  

Join the club!  But hang with me, for you see, there is a difference here that begs exploration.

In the first scenario, the brother has his feathers all ruffled up about something you did that bothers him.  His problem, right?  I mean, after all, we aren’t responsible for how others feel or how they assume what we said meant something else.  If they misunderstood, then that is on them, not us.  Maybe next time they’ll listen better.

Mmn hmn.  

If there is a next time.

If there is another time when they will allow you in their inner circle that--oh by the way--involves several of your peeps too.  Mmn hmn.  Peeps that are starting to notice a new friction, a separation, that something is off.  Now whose problem is it?

Let’s move on to the second scenario.  This time the brother has done something to you.  Because you are so sweet and wise and don’t want there to be conflict, you go to said brother and tell him “Look Buddy, what you did really hurt my feelings.  You took something that did not belong to you and recompense needs to be made.”  Something like that.  However, this brother is not interested in your hurt feelings, or giving back to you what is now in his possession.  In fact, he doesn’t really even want to discuss this with you.  So, being the “good Christian soul” that you are, you go to your trusted friends and ask them to try to help you make this right.  After all, just because the brother offended you doesn’t mean you want to cut him out of your life.  You just want peace and cannot have it until this situation has been rectified.  You still love him it’s just that he messed up and needs to say he’s sorry.

But no, this brother still isn’t interested in reconciliation, even though you brought along a couple of peacemakers to be non-biased and get things back in order.  They see the effects this is having not only on you two but on the friendship as a whole.  Wanting to honor Christ, they urge you both to get this settled.  If it is, then you get your brother back, fellowship is restored, and life goes on.  If, however, your brother still refuses to reconcile, then he is wrong.  He is brought before the church for one last opportunity to repent and then his ultimate decision is to be made:  do I lower myself so I may be raised back up and restored or...or do I choose to be right in spite of the consequences, in spite of losing my church family, my reputation, and my testimony?  

For arguments’ sake, let’s conclude this by saying it’s all the brother’s fault.  He is the one with the problem in both situations.  Let him deal with it as he sees fit.  Me?  I’m just going to pretend like it all didn’t even happen and wait for him to come to his senses.  He’ll miss me soon enough and if there’s some collateral damage on the way, it won’t be my fault.  After all, I am the injured party.  If anyone needs apologized to, it’s me.  No way.  Unh unh!  I will not go to him and make things right.  

That only leaves one more last question then before I close.  If the brother is wrong (and I think we have proven that he is) and if the brother has hurt you (and we’ve shown this to be true to as well) then why is Jesus telling us--you, me--to go first?  First.  Privately.  Just the two of you.  Why did Jesus put that responsibility on you, on me?  Why didn’t He put it on the brother who was the one who erred to begin with?  Why is it our problem?

Let’s pray!

Oh Lord, how You know my reasons for writing this blog today!  The situation I am dealing with is quickly festering into something stinky and hurtful and in my opinion, one that needs to be dealt with fast.  My sensitive soul keeps thinking this “brother” should come to me, that he will see how wrong he was, and that we will talk and then laugh at how silly the whole thing was and how great it is to be friends again.  Restoration will take place and our friendship will be stronger than before because we proved Your way to be best.

But God?  My brother isn’t coming.  Not to his senses and not to me.  I know what to do but...but Lord?  I don’t want to!  I do not want to go to this soul and ask forgiveness for something I did not do!!  But...gulp.  Sigh.  But God, Your Son Jesus said it’s me who needs to take that step.  It’s me who needs to go try to rectify and heal what has been damaged.  Obviously, I care and am bothered by it, as well as the effects it is having on those around me.  So, prepare me, Father.  Tenderize my heart and pride to humble myself and go make peace.  It is possible.  It is necessary.  And my heart is tired of hurting over this.  

Go before me, I ask.  Prepare this brother’s heart to be willing to accept me, to listen to me, to forgive me.  Had a hard time writing that last word, Lord!  Obviously I am still struggling here but I know:  I know this is necessary.  Sigh.  Oh Lord!  Help me to make this right, I pray, in the name of Jesus.  Amen.