But I Didn't Do It!!

Do you ever mix up Bible verses or take them out of the context for which their purpose is actually meant?  Me too!  

Case in point:  as you read the two passages pictured, you can see how similar they are.  They both deal with wayward brothers (and sisters).  They both deal with how to handle issues that are in need of reconciliation.  They both deal with (gulp) you being the one to go try to rectify the situation so that peace may be restored.  Yes:  you.  Even though the “brother” may be the one with the problem, you are to go to him.  

Okay Stef, I don’t think I like where this is going.  

Join the club!  But hang with me, for you see, there is a difference here that begs exploration.

In the first scenario, the brother has his feathers all ruffled up about something you did that bothers him.  His problem, right?  I mean, after all, we aren’t responsible for how others feel or how they assume what we said meant something else.  If they misunderstood, then that is on them, not us.  Maybe next time they’ll listen better.

Mmn hmn.  

If there is a next time.

If there is another time when they will allow you in their inner circle that--oh by the way--involves several of your peeps too.  Mmn hmn.  Peeps that are starting to notice a new friction, a separation, that something is off.  Now whose problem is it?

Let’s move on to the second scenario.  This time the brother has done something to you.  Because you are so sweet and wise and don’t want there to be conflict, you go to said brother and tell him “Look Buddy, what you did really hurt my feelings.  You took something that did not belong to you and recompense needs to be made.”  Something like that.  However, this brother is not interested in your hurt feelings, or giving back to you what is now in his possession.  In fact, he doesn’t really even want to discuss this with you.  So, being the “good Christian soul” that you are, you go to your trusted friends and ask them to try to help you make this right.  After all, just because the brother offended you doesn’t mean you want to cut him out of your life.  You just want peace and cannot have it until this situation has been rectified.  You still love him it’s just that he messed up and needs to say he’s sorry.

But no, this brother still isn’t interested in reconciliation, even though you brought along a couple of peacemakers to be non-biased and get things back in order.  They see the effects this is having not only on you two but on the friendship as a whole.  Wanting to honor Christ, they urge you both to get this settled.  If it is, then you get your brother back, fellowship is restored, and life goes on.  If, however, your brother still refuses to reconcile, then he is wrong.  He is brought before the church for one last opportunity to repent and then his ultimate decision is to be made:  do I lower myself so I may be raised back up and restored or...or do I choose to be right in spite of the consequences, in spite of losing my church family, my reputation, and my testimony?  

For arguments’ sake, let’s conclude this by saying it’s all the brother’s fault.  He is the one with the problem in both situations.  Let him deal with it as he sees fit.  Me?  I’m just going to pretend like it all didn’t even happen and wait for him to come to his senses.  He’ll miss me soon enough and if there’s some collateral damage on the way, it won’t be my fault.  After all, I am the injured party.  If anyone needs apologized to, it’s me.  No way.  Unh unh!  I will not go to him and make things right.  

That only leaves one more last question then before I close.  If the brother is wrong (and I think we have proven that he is) and if the brother has hurt you (and we’ve shown this to be true to as well) then why is Jesus telling us--you, me--to go first?  First.  Privately.  Just the two of you.  Why did Jesus put that responsibility on you, on me?  Why didn’t He put it on the brother who was the one who erred to begin with?  Why is it our problem?

Let’s pray!

Oh Lord, how You know my reasons for writing this blog today!  The situation I am dealing with is quickly festering into something stinky and hurtful and in my opinion, one that needs to be dealt with fast.  My sensitive soul keeps thinking this “brother” should come to me, that he will see how wrong he was, and that we will talk and then laugh at how silly the whole thing was and how great it is to be friends again.  Restoration will take place and our friendship will be stronger than before because we proved Your way to be best.

But God?  My brother isn’t coming.  Not to his senses and not to me.  I know what to do but...but Lord?  I don’t want to!  I do not want to go to this soul and ask forgiveness for something I did not do!!  But...gulp.  Sigh.  But God, Your Son Jesus said it’s me who needs to take that step.  It’s me who needs to go try to rectify and heal what has been damaged.  Obviously, I care and am bothered by it, as well as the effects it is having on those around me.  So, prepare me, Father.  Tenderize my heart and pride to humble myself and go make peace.  It is possible.  It is necessary.  And my heart is tired of hurting over this.  

Go before me, I ask.  Prepare this brother’s heart to be willing to accept me, to listen to me, to forgive me.  Had a hard time writing that last word, Lord!  Obviously I am still struggling here but I know:  I know this is necessary.  Sigh.  Oh Lord!  Help me to make this right, I pray, in the name of Jesus.  Amen.