I may have mentioned before that I enjoy listening to John Denver. His songs show his relationship to nature and the things in his universe that bring him solace. While I am unaware of his relationship with God, I do know that the lyrics he composed often allow me to reflect on Him and, as I am prone to do when I find something that applies mostly to me, I may often change a word or two to make it “mine.”
Here’s an example from “Looking for Space” that I have changed:
And I'm looking for space
And to find out who I am
And I'm looking to know and understand
It's a sweet, sweet dream
Sometimes I'm almost there
Sometimes I fly like an eagle
And sometimes I'm deep in despair
In my version, the last line sings like this: “Sometimes I fly like an eagle and sometimes I weep in despair.”
Another of John’s classic songs I enjoy is “Sunshine on my Shoulders.” On my shoulders, yes, the sun makes me happy. But when it’s in my eyes? When it’s shining on my face, blinding me, sometimes even burning me? Then I tend to prefer it to stay behind me. It can make me cry.
I pondered that as I took my morning stroll. I could walk on and on and on if the sun was behind me. Feeling its warmth--but not its heat!--I truly feel that my walks would last quite a bit longer. However, in my ’hood, I tend to walk back and forth. This means at one point I walk into the sun and when I get to my turnaround spot, then I walk to the other end of the road with my back towards it. Knowing the sun is Christ, I contemplate on how well He takes care of me, how He’s there to pick me up when I stumble and/or fall. I know His light allows me to stay upright and to bask in His glory. It’s when I turn around though, and look straight into its face, into God’s face. Like Moses, I cannot stand it! It’s too much for me! It burns my flesh. It heats my body. It blinds my eyes.
I’m fair-skinned and blue-eyed. Not a great combination for being in the great outdoors, huh? That being said--and I’ll conclude with this--being in the direct sunshine is something I can only do in small doses. I have the scars to prove it and my dermatologist will confirm that I have helped make the annual office budget stay in the black with my frequent visits. But when I am on Jesus’ accounting books? When the records reveal what the Son has in His plus column, His profit margins? Sigh. I shudder to think.
Jesus has my back. He has my front as well but it’s awfully hard for me to walk in His light directly. I fall short. I cannot see all that He has prepared because my finite eyes just cannot take it in. I cannot see His plans because they are not ready to be revealed just yet. I sometimes take small steps where I can boldly step into the light and then...and then my eyes are filled with those annoying black dots that mar my vision because it’s just too much. The passion of His call burns me as I contemplate if I can live up to it. The shame of my failures heats my face to a red that is caused not by the sun’s rays but by the Son’s compassion. But you see, even though I fall short and my race is not yet won? Even though I can only get Jesus in small doses? Even though His Word is a lamp unto my feet, it’s the darkness of life that I trod through and only He can brighten the way. I get glimpses of His plan once in a while because that is all I am capable of handling. He knows this. He’s got me and is patient with my progress and yes, there are times when it all seems to be at a standstill. Truthfully there are paths I have to go back down and re-walk because I bit off more than I could chew. But through it all, God stays constant. He’s my Sunshine. He’s my Map. He’s got my front.
Let’s pray!
Dear Lord, my analogies aren’t always succinct to those who may read my blog but hopefully through some of this mess, the message of You will shine forth.
Lord? Thank You for opportunities to learn more about You and to grow in Your truths. There is so much of You to learn and I am so thankful that I will have eternity to learn the things that my tiny little brain just can’t handle right now.
Thanks for having my front, God. May I walk in You--even when it’s just baby steps--is my plan. I purpose this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen!
I’ve been in a rut lately and my soul has been burdened. While it’s nice to be able to share these things with the hubby, I was able yesterday to speak with two folks who really got me. I mean, they didn’t just nod their heads in understanding while looking for the nearest exit. They not only confirmed my feelings but had nearly equal ones in response! Do you know how good that feels--to know you aren’t crazy, to know that while your spouse agrees with you because, after all, you’ve been married so long that your thoughts often mirror the others’, and to know that all things work together for good? If you don’t, my hope is that you will be able to go out on that limb and risk it. Either you’ll break the tree because your weight is too much for it or you’ll find that when Christ is the vine and we are the branches, love covers all. Rooted and grounded in Him, we can remain steadfast.
