What Is That To You? November 10, 2016

What Is That To You?

Last night as Steve and I continued our studies, we came across this portion of a verse:  that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty (I Timothy 2:2).  It stood out to the both of us--even though it wasn’t what we were focusing our lesson on.  

Now, I don’t really like adjectives that are quantitative, such as “all” is because...well, because it just isn’t fair.  I mean seriously, can someone do something ALL the time?  What about those incidences where you miss the mark--either just barely or by a full mile?  We strive to do our best but you and I both know that there are going to be areas where we fall short.  

When this verse says “in all godliness and honesty” it just isn’t attainable! But enough with semantics.  What the gist of it means to me is that when one abides by God’s laws, He promises us many French benefits.  Living a quiet and peaceable life is one of the many blessings He provides and as this month of November is one where folks declare their thankfulness for the good things in their lives, I want to take this opportunity to thank God for my quiet life.  Oh sure, the noises in my head would argue that it’s awfully loud in there but for the most part, my life is still.  Settled.  Comfortable.  Peaceable?  Yes!  The battles I fought for so long have been won and my heart is at peace with most of the things in it.  Not ALL of them but definitely most of them.  What more could a girl ask for?

Let’s pray!

Dear Father God, as I ponder on the wonderful things You have wrought, I am thankful.  As a middle-aged-wife, mother, grandmother, and friend to some, You have supplied me with more than I deserve.  I do try to live my life to honor You and this is my just reward--not because of my works, oh no, Lord.  We know better than that!  But because You promised good things to Your kids if we’d abide by Your rules.  And these rules You set before us are good ones, Father.  We need directions, boundaries, and limits.  We need guidance and we need help in discerning truth by Your standards, not those of the world.

Thank You for my life.  Thank You for my peace and for my quiet.  When I rest, rely, and remember You, Lord God, the results are good ones.  And though troubles may be on my horizon, for today, for this moment, I am praising You with a thankful heart for Your blessings on me.  

I love You!  Thanks for loving me too:  for loving me first.  You complete me!  

Amen.

Oh Me Of Little Faith!

Psalm 43:5 asks this question--and answers it in the same verse: "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God."  So, in response, I direct it back to you, to me.  Why are we afraid, dismayed, doubting, and depressed today?  No need to be!

I've been pondering things lately.  Big surprise, huh?  I know but...that's why I make the big bucks!  Seriously though, a part of my wonderful church is that we have a continuous prayer chain via Facebook that I am a part of.  And, before this came along, we had that old-fashioned kind.  You know:  the kind where people actually called one another on telephones and checked up on their friends, family, and loved ones.  And go back even further, and guess what?  Yep!  We had that real old-timey kind:  the one where we'd hit our knees at the first signs of calamity, distress, or any other type of need.

Regardless of the way our requests are made known to God and to each other, one thing has not changed:  He's still on the throne.  Jesus is by His side, along with the Holy Spirit.  It's been this way since the dawn of time, which, ironically, is what I entitled my picture for today.  Gaze over it and see what those three have been up to, will you?  I tried not to leave you out but forgive me, please, if I did.  

Did you make the list?  See any of your needs that have not already been predetermined and allowed for?  Obviously I do not have the mind of God but...but I do have His heart, placed there when Jesus Christ saved my soul many moons ago.  And because of that, because of His great love, I can rest today.  I don't have to wring my hands when the bad news comes--and it will.  I don't have to fret over who will win the primaries today:  that's already been predetermined.  I don't have to wonder if Brenda's surgery will be okay because I know my Great Physician already has her in His sweet hands.  Those world disasters and senseless acts of violence and/or carelessness have all got His angels ready to take charge and assist where needed.  

So, why am I disquieted?  I'm not!  And you shouldn't be either.  Here's what Jesus did to prove this in Matthew 8:25-27:

And they came to Him and woke Him, saying, "Save us, Lord; we are perishing!" He said to them, "Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?" Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm. The men were amazed, and said, "What kind of a man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?"

I'll tell you what:  that's the kind of Man I am following today.  I hope you are too!

Let's pray!

Rarely do I think of the three of You acting on my behalf, taking for granted You have got me.  Thank You, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for this unasked for but greatly appreciated act of mercy, love, and observation of what I need before I even ask for it.  May the hearts and souls of Your children be touched today by the tender mercies You provide is my hope.  Amen!

Saying Goodbye Is Never An Easy Thing

I'm going to die.  Oh no:  not today and probably not tomorrow but then again, who knows?  Not me.  

I thought I was ready for this day and was even looking forward to it.  Then, I got this report that made me wonder if my time to leave here could potentially be sooner than I expected.  So I began to wonder, to ponder, and to reconcile within myself all the things I've done, want to do, and hope to do before the moment of death takes me from this life onto the next.

I used to think I didn't want a funeral because I honestly didn't think anyone would show up.  But now, as I think about my final… performance?  No, that's not the right word.  Hmn.  My last words?  No, that doesn't work either since I will already be gone.  Although others may have a few words (hopefully nice ones) to say on my behalf to tell of all of my wonders and what a great person I was (cough!), that's still not quite the right thing I want to express.  I've got it!  My final farewell.  All the things others want to remember about me and all the things I hope that they will reminisce over when my days on this earth come to their end are what have been running through my mind.

You know that Tim McGraw song "Live Like You Were Dying" and the things his dad wanted to do before death knocked on his door?  Well, I have always wanted to fly so I guess skydiving would be on my bucket list too.  Rocky Mountain climbing?  No, but I wouldn't mind seeing the coast of Maine in the fall.  I most certainly have no desire to ride ol' Foo Man Choo!  Yeah, I'd love to love deeper, speak sweeter, but forgiveness I've been denying?  I honestly think I am good with that.  Oh sure, there are some wrongs done to me that I'd love to talk over with the ones who hurt me but I don't hold that against them anymore.  It was another power at work, seeking to steal, kill, and destroy and it was successful on too many occasions but I see it now for what it really was.

I started this blog off with the words "I'm going to die" and that may cause some of you to wonder what's wrong with me.  Well, I'll tell you.  It's that dreaded "c" word:  cancer.  Basal and Squamous Cell cancers have once again penetrated my skin and in less than two weeks, I get to have Mohs Surgery on three places on my face.  Again.  For you see, I've already had one of these types of surgery before on my left side of my face.  I joke with people about my scar, telling them I was in a knife fight but that I won.  But now I'm not laughing.  I'm scared.  I fear that the two places on my forehead are really just a part of a series of cancers that are connected and will need radical treatment.  I fear that because they are closer to my tiny little brain that they may have already started their descent into it and prepared to take over. The one on my nose?  Well, it's been treated many times before as well.  For about as long as I can remember, I was dubbed "Rudolph" because I too had a very shiny, red nose that was constantly sunburnt and blistered.

Many will tell me that this surgery is no big deal and that it is quite successful in removing these hateful beasts--and they would be right.  I've done my homework and researched the facts.  But that doesn't still the fatalist spirit in my heart that this time it's gonna be worse than the first Mohs done, that these scars will run deeper than the superficial.  I know that most of this attitude comes from the whispers of the devil and how he's just trying to get me to focus on the lies rather than the knowledge of how far medical science has come.  For when he does that, my eyes aren't on Christ, the Great Physician.  My heart isn't comforted by His Words and Promises when I let the fears take over.  My peace is shattered when I allow the thoughts of my dear sister dying from melanoma seven years ago to permeate into my mind and though I know this cancer isn't as severe, it all starts somewhere, right?  

Sigh.  There's a song I love called "In The Light" by dc Talk.  My favorite lines in it go like this:

The disease of self runs through my blood

It's a cancer fatal to my soul

Every attempt on my behalf has failed

To bring this sickness under control

I wanna be in the Light

As You are in the Light

I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens

Oh, Lord be my Light and be my salvation

'Cause all I want is to be in the Light

All I want is to be in the Light

Friends, I don't know the future and what will be the deciding factor that takes my life from me.  I know that I am saved, that I have a better home awaiting, and that without Jesus Christ I have no hope.  With Him, though, I have so many wondrous hopes, so much love, and a confidence that I am a winner either way and when He calls me home, it will be for good.  So, when you pray for me--and I am expecting that you will!!--don't pray for healing or for divine intervention.  The path has already been planned out for me so what I ask is this:  when you do pray for me--and again, I expect you to!!--pray that whatever time I have on this earth is spent bring glory and honor to God.  My life is to be about Him, not about Stef.  Whether that's a couple of months or years on down the road (personally, my preference is to go in the Rapture with the rest of you and be done with this hurtful world), my sincere desire is that through my life you will see Jesus shining.

So, in conclusion, what do I want on my tombstone?  Loosed.  Freed. Redeemed. Completed.

Let's pray!

Dear God, I feel better already!  When I take the time to work through my fears, I see that You have me.  You have already loosened me from the grip of sin.  You have freed my soul from the condemnation of the wicked one.  You have through Your precious Son Jesus redeemed me and claimed me as Your child.  And when my last breath is breathed, I will be completed, my race over, the victory mine.  Through Jesus You have made this all possible and Lord God?  I thank You with all of my heart.

Now, Father, we both know I am going to relapse and the darkness of the night will try to let the demons of the fear of the unknown attack me.  When I am afraid, Lord, may I trust in You?  When I am scared, will You hold my hand?  And when the emotions tumble out as I fret over what all I have left to do and is there time, remind me that regardless of cancers or any other life-stealing device, I am Yours and my life here is only over when You say so.   And while I have breath, I am going to praise You, Lord!  Hallelujah!

That's what friends are for!

Many years ago at the little country church I attended, altar calls were the norm.  Most every service the invitation was given, as well as the opening up of the altar for those who just needed to come and pray.

One Sunday morning, to my surprise, this woman whom I considered to be a pillar of the church, stood up, looked my way, nodded at me as if to say "Meet me there," and headed that way.  Thinking she must want me to pray with her over something, I arose and went to the front of the church with her, got to my knees beside of her, and then listened to her apologize to me over some hard feelings she had had over me.  Dumbfounded, I could only stare as she continued speaking in a tone of authority.  She apologized and said we were to go on because it wasn't even hardly worth speaking of.  Being young in the faith, I agreed, we prayed, hugged, and...we went on.

How simple it was!  She made no bones about being wrong for her negative thinking but...but she also was so assured in her faith and--I guess--in me as well that she knew this matter would be resolved without any fanfare.  She knew her Bible, knew her God, and knew this was the thing to do to maintain fellowship with Him and with me as well--even though I was unaware of her harsh feelings over an incident that I cannot even recall.  

What was the result of this action?  Well, as I mentioned, I was younger in the faith then than I am now so it showed me the way to live the Bible, to live the verses that were being taught, and to be a doer of the Word instead of just a hearer.  She taught me something that day that had to do with forgiveness, sure, but she also taught me that I could rely on the older women in the faith, not necessarily just in age because she and I were similar in our birth years. 

As children of God, we are commanded to look out for one another in many ways.  My pastor is beginning to teach the church those ways on Sunday mornings through the book of I Thessalonians should you desire to know more.  For those of you who don't live nearby, you can watch the videos of these teachings at https://www.facebook.com/clarkschapel.baptistchurch

In conclusion, this issue of forgiveness is tough--but only if we let it be.  Why not choose instead to deal with things that have caused discord and do it in a matter-of-fact method instead of holding grudges and losing out on fellowship and peace?  Yes, I do know some things are harder to let go of than others because this is an issue I have struggled with for decades now.  But, when I look back on this episode of my life, perhaps had I allowed myself to be mentored to more, studied the Word of God more thoroughly, and realized how important some people are to me--more so than the hurts I was holding onto--my life might have been more peaceably lived.  Instead of the weight of these burdens around my neck, on my back, and stifling my heart, perhaps I could have lived that joy-filled life of abundance that God has promised to me when I follow His commands.  

Let's pray!

Dear Lord, thank You for this memory of Tammy Williams and how she affected my spiritual walk when I was still a toddler in the faith.  I pray that her example will stand firm in my mind as I stand before You, realizing that no good comes from holding onto bitterness.  May I choose the good things instead, Father, as I mature ever more in Your Word is my prayer.  Amen.

He whispers sweet peace to me

September 4, 2015

Welcome to my world.  Sigh.  As the picture illustrates, sometimes we just don't know what to say.  We think our idea or opinion or statement is going one way and then voila`!  It's gone.  Lost or paused.  We know it was going somewhere but...

It's times like these that I am so thankful for the Word of God.  Romans 8:26 states:  Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

As I was praying a moment ago, seeking direction on what to write this morning, after murmuring the words, "Lord.  Lord, I...Lord?" I kind of floundered.  I knew that yesterday's blog was painful:  painful for me to write and painful for you to read.  So today I wanted to do something uplifting and more encouraging, something that would point you more to God's grace and goodness and I just flopped.  My prayers failed me.  Wonder why?

Sigh.  I don't know.  Maybe because some things just cannot be expressed with words but just being alone with God for a few moments, just reveling in His arms as He holds me and soothes me is enough.  Feeling His love, His understanding, and the knowledge that I don't have to talk, don't have to explain, and I don't have to ask Him for anything because He already knows my thoughts, my desires, my hopes, my hurts.  He probably--in all honesty--is tired of hearing me whine so this silence, this seeking for the right words might just be what He has been seeking in me so that He might get the chance to speak, to soothe, to secure.

Dear Lord,

Thank You for these times of silence.  Their sounds are refreshing.  The thoughts are stilled as I just rest.  Hold me now, Father, as I lie here.  Whisper sweet peace to me.  Ease my cares, my frustrations.  Shush me and then?  Then Lord, speak to me.  I will be better able to hear You once I just relax.  I don't have to bear the weight of the world.  That's Your job and You do it so much better than I can.

Nudge me into more reflection, Lord, and shush me again.  The thoughts are starting to bombard and I need more time to just lean on You.  Peace, Lord.  May it be mine--as well as those who are reading this right now.  May we drift into Your arms for a little while is my prayer.  Amen.

And I will lift my hands

Ahh, what a nice weekend I had. Steve and I stole away to Gatlinburg for a couple of days and...rested. Ate. Saw a movie. Rested. Ate some more. Met up with some family who were also on a quick getaway. Played in the pool. Soaked in the hot tub. Ate some more. Got some firewood and lingered by the river which was next to the hotel, built a fire, and...rested. We were still. We were at peace. We were in harmony with one another.

You know what is so great about all of this? This is what we can have with our God when we just take the time to be still with Him. We can't always jump in our cars and go hundred of miles away from the cares of our ordinary lives but we can jump in His arms and rest. Relax. Let Him soak our cares away. We can.

Yesterday, on the way home, we stopped at some overlooks on the Parkway. It was so beautiful and my heart was full. I had Steve take this photo of me, lifting my arms in praise to my wonderful God Who allowed me this time of refreshment. The sun was shining brightly down upon me and with the beauty surrounding me, I felt as though I could fly away to heaven, should He call me to do so. He didn't and I am still here, still in my recliner, back at my temporary home, praising the Lord. I have breath and I don't take that for granted the way I used to. I have hope, which once seemed like a far off, unreachable prize. I have assurance that one day my soul will be totally at peace and the One I long for most will be by my side.

Thank You, Lord. Thank You for the mini-vacation, the reminders of the need for stillness, and the love from my husband. I have more than I deserve and it's because of You, God. Thank You for my family that I get to see regularly. Thank You for my church and the ones who make me feel so special. Thank You for Steve's job that provides for us. But mostly? Thanks for loving me. I lift my hands even now in worship of You, Father. I breathe Your name in a happy sigh. I claim Your love and shall continue to bask in it for the remainder of my days.

I love You, Lord! Amen.