Are you a shameful sinner or a sorry saint?

Huh?  What kind of question is that?  A "shameful sinner"--what does that even mean?  And "sorry saint"?  Please explain!

Okay, since you asked, I will.  First though, let's simplify things a little.  In the course of this blog, I will refer to shameful sinners as "ss" and sorry saints as "SS" so that I won't have to repeat those phrases so much.

There's a difference between being ashamed about something and having sorrow over it.  Steve and I have been pondering this for a couple of days now and so apparently, has our good friend James MacDonald.  Throw in incidences from our grandsons, our selves, and worldly issues and it's been quite the wandering event going on here, as you can see in this picture.

Why do we teach our children to say "I'm sorry" when an infraction has occurred?  Sure, we want them to be polite.  We want them to acknowledge another's pain.  We think they need to learn how to behave better.  But what about when they have to apologize but...but they aren't really sorry?  Gulp.  I mean, sure, maybe it could have been handled differently but to be sorry when deep inside we are glad we did what we did?  After all, didn't that one have it coming to him/her?  I have found in trying to teach this lesson that it can go into a barrage of guilt and shame in trying to make one child apologize to the other when I could see his heart was not in it.

Ahh, the heart.  The heart that controls our emotions, our feelings, and our deepest desires.  Heads?  Heads teach us reason, to rationalize, and to mandate to society.  Hearts though are special, tender, and stubborn.  To admit we were the one who was wrong, that it was our poor choices that led to this climax, and that we are then the ones who have to humble ourselves?  Hmn hmn hmn.  That's when things can get tricky.

Let's switch gears a moment and talk about shame.  Shame too involves our feelings but the key here is that that is what it's about:  our feelings.  Me.  Mine.  Shame is often internalized and while we may battle its effects, it's a private battle that we let few (if any) in on.  We can have disgust at ourselves, at our tendencies to do wrong things--and make no mistake:  we know they are wrong.  Shame hides in the dark (hmn hmn hmn) and hopes no one finds out its ugliness.  Shame doesn't want others to know of our embarrassments over our fetishes and foolishnesses but when the truth comes out?  Oh my.  Shame has two choices then.  It can either say "The world accepts this behavior.  Who are you to judge?"  Or, it can lead to to sorrow, godly sorrow, that leads to repentance.

Can you be sorry without shame?  I don't think so.  Can you have shame without being sorry?  Definitely.  While ss like to keep things hidden, SS have to outwardly express their wrongs.  They are brought into the light and dealt with there.  Shame has turned into "not judging" and "accepting the sin" rather than the sinner, as many of us were taught.  Thanks to society, many sins that are daily committed are not even classified as being wrong anymore.  Instead, they are embraced, welcomed, and glorified even.  My friends, this ought not to be so!

We all have tendencies within us to do evil.  The difference is when we act upon them.  When we justify them and make them right in our own eyes, we are headed for trouble.  Things like homosexuality, murder, vindication, adultery, stealing, cheating, lying.  Oh be careful Stef:  you are about to step on some toes!  Yeah, mine are pretty sore themselves because I am certainly not sinless.  Jesus taught us that if we look upon another with lust that we have already committed adultery in our hearts.    He taught us to love our neighbors as ourselves and I'll tell you what:  there are some of my neighbors that I would bend over backwards to help out at any given moment.  But then there are some that...well, it'd be tough for me to love them without a lot of assistance from the Good Lord.  So, you see, I am far from perfect myself, friends.  Have you ever heard the expression "some folks just need killin'"?  Yeah, it's hard for ol' Stef to wait on the promised vengeance that is God's.  Let's not even talk about the things my mind conjures up to help Him out in that department.

To conclude and hopefully bring this blog into some semblance of sense, we are all sinners.  We all fall short of the glory of God.  We all need a Saviour.  Christ Jesus is the Final Authority:  not the government, not society, and not the Constitution which has been rewritten.  The Holy Bible is full of men with faults who had a choice to make--just like you and I do.  Will we be shameful sinners and hope our sins don't get found out or will we repent, will we return to God, and will we humble ourselves and admit our failures?  Sorry Saints are in the light and their difference from shameful sinners is that they went the next step.  For you see, ss know that what they are doing is wrong.  They aren't kidding themselves.  They cry out to God for Him to take away this burden but they don't go the next step, the step that SS do:  they don't turn from their sin.  They keep on practicing it.  They don't intend to stop.  SS, on the other hand (and please pardon the pun), will cut off their arms, pluck out their eyes, and flee from evil in their repentance.  Whatever it takes, they will do to be right with God.  Relationship with Christ is their hearts' desire above all, above the selfish desires of self.  What God says versus what they want is their intention.  

So, what are you sorry for today?  Did you commit that act on purpose?  What do you feel deep shame over--or maybe just minor shame since we really aren't that bad?  (Ahem)  Will pride, guilt, and selfishness keep you from Christ or cause you to run to Him?  He's standing there, with arms wide open, to welcome you back.  He loves you in your sin, oh yes but...but He cannot allow you to continue in it and expect that He accepts it because you and Him have an "understanding" that the Bible was written for everyone else except you.  Repentance was defined as being "a recognition of sin followed by heartfelt sorrow culminating in a change of behavior" in James MacDonald's messages recently.  Do you need to change your behavior today, loved ones?  

Sigh.

Let's pray.

Well, Lord, here I go again, preaching to the choir.  Sigh.  You know the depths of my sins, Father, and the things I fight against giving into.  You know my pride, my sense of feeling I am the right one while it's mostly everyone else who is wrong.  You know my shame, oh my shame, Father, over things I have done and truthfully, often still think about doing.  

I need a cleansing, Lord.  A detoxification.  It's me, again, oh Lord, who stands in the need of prayer.  As my heart continues to war with my head, with my flesh, with my society, please stay in the forefront of my mind.  It's surely a battlefield up there, God, and I keep forgetting to put on my whole armor.  I keep forgetting that like the impotent man, I have no man to do this for me.  It's me.  My choices and my decisions.  My want to get up and walk or my desire to stay in the pigsty like the prodigal son.  

Thank You for giving me the option to rise, Lord.  With my hand in Yours, I will not stumble.  Hold me tight, I pray!  In the name of Jesus, amen.