Perspective

If you were to ask my neighbours what the big deal is, why I keep staring so intently at their house, day after day, week after week, I am sure they would be dumbfounded to know that I do so because of all of the marvelous sunsets I am witnessing just beyond their vantage point.  I mean, after all, we share the same sky, right?  We are within almost shouting distance of one another.  Why, should they look up at the same sky I am enthralled with, they’d probably think I had lost what marbles I had left.  “What’s the big deal” they might ask one another.  “I don’t see anything but darkness setting in.”  They’d probably shake their heads, laugh at their crazy neighbour, and go back inside, perhaps just every so often going to their back window to check and see if maybe, just maybe ol’ Stef was on to something after all.

But they wouldn’t see it.  

However, should you ask my neighbour up on the hill, she might have a completely different reaction.  “See it?” she’d exclaim.  “Why you, Stefanie, are only getting a glimpse of what rapturous beauty I am beholding!  If so, you’d be at my house every night, waiting for the opportunity to see what God paints next!”

Perspective.  From one angle, things look this way.  From another’s point of view the facts may not be as evident.  And from still another’s one would realize, as my friend Susan once said, there’s three sides to every story:  yours, mine, and the truth.

As things are presented to you today, friends, I encourage you to check out the other sides of the “details” given and see if perhaps you should examine them from another angle before making your final conclusion.  Things are not always what they seem and sometimes we just have to move a little to gain a more vivid accounting of what has been put before us so that we can see if a fair accounting is taking place or if we are only seeing through the glass dimly.

Let’s pray!

Well, once again Father, this blog did not go where I thought it was going to!  Nonetheless, as my readers examine it, I pray that this example of perspective, of examining our motives and the motives of others will encourage us to think for ourselves instead of just accepting things at face value.  Too often we are too lazy to seek out the truth, relying instead on others’ thoughts and “knowledge” about situations to find that there just may be another point of view out there that is more trustworthy, more eye-opening, and better able to point us to You, the real Truth.

Help us, I ask, to seek You today in all that we do, say, and offer to others.  In the radiant name of Christ Jesus I pray, amen.  Oh, and Lord?  Thanks for the beautiful sunsets!  I appreciate them!

Validation

A great friend of mine is going through… something.  It’s hard to exactly describe it, to pinpoint it to just one thing, to define what it is that’s troubling Stacey (for privacy reasons, we’ll just refer to said friend as Stacey).  She’s got some things nagging in her subconscious that have been trying to steal her joy--something you faithful readers of mine know is a huge No-No.

Being the ever-so-helpful-and-oh-so-wise-friend that I am, I offered Stacey some advice, based on years of wisdom and things I wish someone would have told me.  I advised my precious friend to write things down.  On a slip of paper, the back of a receipt, a notebook, a note card, a post-it note, a notepad, or nearly anything she could find to quickly write out the words she was feeling--even if they weren’t in a whole sentence.  Sometimes a couple of words would suffice and other times she might need to write a whole paragraph or essay.  “Just don’t do it on the back of your hand, Stacey, for that is just not a good place to keep these random thoughts.”

What will this benefit you in your state of need, you might wonder?  I am so glad you asked!  Here are five things that I jotted down this morning as I considered my friend and the advice I had given to her.  Ready?  Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Writing it down ACKNOWLEDGES:  the pain, the situation, the fear
2. Writing it down VALIDATES:  that you have the right to feel this way
3. Writing it down SEPARATES:  the truth from the lies
4. Writing it down ALLOWS:  the anger, the grief, the release
5. Writing it down ADMITS:  the helplessness, the helpfulness, and the hopefulness

Whether you follow up on these notes today, tomorrow, next week, year, or what have you, writing it down brings a bittersweet satisfaction to voicing this thought/feeling--even if there is no resolution.  There is still this concrete, tangible proof that you exist, that your situation is troubling you, and that you matter--even if to no one else.  You are allowed to feel, friend.  You don’t have to stuff it all inside and await the day it all spews out into a bigger fluff than it might have had you just taken the moment to deal with it on its surface.  Remember Neil Diamond’s classic song “I Am, I Said” where “no one heard at all, not even the chair”?  It still helped ol’ Neil (and ol’ Stef on more than one occasion) to belt it out in song or to write the beloved lyrics on the paper.  

Lastly, even if the situation only serves to remind you of the pain, again, it validates your...well, it validates you.  You are alive.  Your feelings do matter.  You have a right to feel this way in this moment at this time.  Now, you don’t necessarily have the right to act on these feelings, mind you.  “Be angry and sin not” as Ephesians 4:26 tells us.  But when you write these thoughts down, friends, at least they are not buried so deeply inside of you that once the flow starts, it cannot be quenched.  Does that make sense?  Sometimes a snowflake starts an avalanche (Max Lucado).  Don’t let one straw break the camel’s back.

Okay, enough of the analogies and quotes.  For Stacey, myself, and all of you out there in Wandering Land, I encourage you to keep a pencil and paper handy.  When something fascinates you, excites you, encourages you, incites you, and so on WRITE IT DOWN!  Let your fingers memorialize this instance and follow up on it when you can.  Better for it to come out of these members than the one that cannot be tamed.  Yes, I’m referring to the tongue.  We can’t always take back what we said but with a good eraser we can certainly blot out what shouldn’t have been.  Amen?

Let’s pray!

Dear Lord, I hope this message gets through to Stacey and to the ones out there like her.  It’s so hard, Father, to express ourselves when we aren’t even sure what it is we’re feeling.  Therefore, to write these momentary trials, temptations, and/or twinges on our hearts is the safer way to handle them until a more opportune time comes along.

Yes, I know, Lord, that often these evidences can serve to bring back pains and things probably best forgotten.  But they can also serve as warnings and reminders to not behave this way again or to not let that situation get the best of us.  We are to be constantly standing for You, God.  When our feelings control our actions, though, we tend to stumble and fall.  Help us, I pray in the sweet name of Jesus Christ, to temper our behaviours into ones that bring honor to Him, to You, and to not let them steal our joy.  Amen.

Don't Speak

As per the usual, it all started off innocently enough.  The end of the year is usually a time of reflection and tidying up those things that I want to compile and put in their rightful places as I prepare for the fresh start of 2016.

I like to keep back ups of my files:  pictures, emails, and things that I write.  I love technology but don't trust it to be around forever so I prepare in advance to have several copies of things in various places--just in case.  So, this morning as I was copying my WanderingThroughTheBible blogs, my eyes drifted to previous blogs and before I knew it, I was further back in time that I had planned on being.  And, as I wrote, it started off innocently.  I caught an error in one blog that dealt with a recent topic so I fixed it and then began to read the whole story.  This led me to check out a few others and before I knew it, the old hurts, yearnings, and missing of those who have passed filled my heart.  And that was okay until...

Until I caught the title of some of my blogs that took me over to the Dark Side.  Titles like "Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers," "K-Mart, Long John Silvers, or Me," as well as "He Was My Dad Too."  I read them.  I felt the pain wash over me again, still carrying the force of the tidal waves of emotion that apparently is just as strong since my eyes filled with tears and my heart ached with loss.  Some of the titles I didn't even have to re-read, for I knew that if I kept on with this I would be just where the devil wanted me:  stuck in the mire of the misery.

I wanted to end this year with a reflection of my life verse for the year so that is what I am going to do now.  The verse is from 2 Timothy 2:15 and reads as follows:

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the Word of Truth.

I want to spend the time in this blog reflecting to see if I have done this.  Did I study God's Word?  Did I show myself approved?  Am I ashamed of what was and was not accomplished?  Did I rightly divide the Word of Truth?  

Yes, uhm, definitely, and mostly.  

As I ponder on all that has gone on these last 364 days, there was much more time in God's Word than ever before in my life, I do believe.  Did this make God happy?  Sure!  Did He approve when I persevered into seeking a deeper knowledge with Him?  No doubt (pun intended as you will understand with today's quote).  Do I need to be ashamed of the work I put into this endeavor?  Definitely!  While many hours were spent delving into these riches, many more were wasted on things that are just gonna burn up when all is said and done.  Lastly, did I rightly divide these truths I have been shown?  

Mostly.  Often.  80-85% of the time I did but that other 15-20%?  That time was spent still listening to the lies of the wicked one.  That time was spent arguing over doctrines that are over my head.  I daresay some of it was horribly wasted trying to convince others that my knowledge was right while theirs was lacking.  I'm sure a portion of it was spent trying to validate my reasons and rationalizations for my actions that were not as honoring to God as they could have been.  Rather, as they should have been.

So, as the year closes and the devil is still on my back, continually trying to bring me down and make me feel useless, worthless, and just a general annoyance to those who'd rather see cute pictures and read funny stories on Facebook and Blogger instead of my constant wanderings I have a choice.  I can listen to him and allow the defeat to consume me.  Pretty sure though that I have been there and done that a few times already.  Or, I can continue.  God said He'd use the foolish things of the world to confound.  He also said His Word would not return unto Him empty.  He said I was to love and use my talents for Him.  While not all of my blogs and stories are Pulitzer Prize worthy (I wish!), there are several of them that have been useful-- if to no one else but myself and my number one fan Steve.  

I entitled this blog "Don't Speak" in deference again to the passage used on the quote.  But guess what?  I am going to speak.  I am going to keep writing.  I'm still going to keep studying and one day find that approval of my Lord and lose my shame.  Tune in tomorrow as you read about my new life verse that I am so excited about!  

Let's end this year with prayer, shall we?

Dear Lord,

Thank You for this platform to share my thoughts, my doubts, my fears, hurts, and needs.  Thank You for the gift of writing that so often the devil tries to keep me from using and sharing with others who may be facing the same battles and trials that I experience.

Father?  Thank You mostly for Your Words that teach me.  I cherish them and want to read them over and over and glean the truths that are still waiting to be mined.  I want to read between those lines and ponder on what often isn't said but is implied and I want to discover what those implications are so that I may know You more deeply than before.

As this year concludes, I ask that I may be found worthy, Lord.  Through Christ, You have redeemed me but my work isn't finished.  There is so much more to do!  Mold me and make me more like Jesus so that I may without any doubt be acceptable in Your sight is my prayer.  I love You!  Amen.

How you doin'?

Good morning!  Tell me something:  how are you really doing today?  I know:  that’s a loaded question.  Some of you would automatically reply “I’m fine.  How are you?”  while others would say “I’m okay” or “I’ve been better.”  A few might respond “You don’t really want to know!”  

And then there are those of you who would ponder momentarily how much I genuinely care to hear your answer and then you would tell me the truth.  You’re barely hanging on.  You have issues that no one else knows of.  Maybe it’s a medical situation that you think is too embarrassing to speak of.  Maybe your kid kept you up all night or your hubby didn’t come home.  Maybe your boss is on your case.  Perhaps you are struggling with spiritual issues and are too ashamed to tell anyone because if you did then your reputation as Sister Saint might be tarnished.  

As for me and how I am doing today, I’ll be honest.  I’m okay.  Not great; but not too poorly.  If I am not careful, my mind can stray into areas that are not good for it to be in because they can bring up past pains that I have dealt with but that still have the power to prick at me.  They come along innocently enough, as they did last night when Steve and I were talking about how rotten television is.  After the past few episodes of “Game of Thrones” I am thoroughly sickened of the gratuitous violence and sexual deviancy.  Top that off with binge-watching “Empire” and the horrid depictions of family and I am near ready to throw my Roku away and never turn on the tube again.

But that’s another topic.  What got my mind off-track last night--or threatened to--was when we were talking about the images in my mind that I don’t need to be there.  One of my private fears is that when I get just a smidge older that I might develop Alzheimer’s and/or dementia. How awful would it be for my sweet mouth to start spouting off bitter and harsh words, ugly words, shameful words that leave a lasting memory in my kids’ and grandkids’ minds?  Forget the straight-jacket.  Instead, have my mouth wired shut would be my number one pick on my living will agenda.

The other thing that tried to damage my calm was when Steve innocently asked something about the way the family was portrayed in “Empire.”  At church the other night, in his class they studied a passage from I Thessalonians 4.  Long story short, the word ‘concupiscence’ from verse 5 was discussed, as well as parts of the rest of the book and how we are not to covet what our brothers have.  Steve asked something to the effect of “is that what you think K and B did to you?”  Immediately--not like I would have been this time last year, thank You, Jesus!--I told him I did not even want to think about that because I was so tired of the devil trying to stir up strife in areas I have dealt with.  And that’s what the heart of my message is today, friends.

“How are you” I asked at the beginning of this blog.  Not “how were you” is my question.  If you cannot see any change in your walk, any discipline in what you are letting control your thoughts, or any positive signs that you are not your former self, then drop me a line.  Call your pastor’s wife.  Get in touch with a friend who can spiritually advise you. Something needs to change so that you can live the abundant life that has been promised to you.  It’s so much better than the one where your shoulders are sagging and you can’t lift your head because of all of the weights you are needlessly carrying around!  As a saved soul, the Bible tells us in II Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”  Let those old pains go.  Let those old habits die.  Let those old friends and/or loves that are hurting you go.  You don’t need them.  

I don’t write these things lightly, dear ones.  It has taken me a long time to get to the place I am today.  I still slip into old patterns when I lose my focus on Christ and keep it on me.  How I wish you didn’t have to learn the hard way!  Don’t be stubborn and full of pride.  You may think no one will care or like you if you act the “right way.”  And you might be correct.  Or maybe, just maybe, you will learn to like yourself enough again to realize that that is better company anyway.  When it’s just you and Jesus, it’s a much better relationship than those that are leaving you so bereft.

Let’s pray!

Oh Lord, as my words resound in my ears, I cannot help but reflect on how low I was for so long as I let my past control any future I hoped to have.  The hurts and the wrongs I clung to made me a bitter soul--and a lonely one.  No one wants to be around an old hag who just feels sorry for herself and wants to whine about how she was so wronged.  Sure, at first friends were kind but then they couldn’t help but wonder when I’d shake it off, when I’d let it all go, and when I’d let You work Your grace in me.

Sorry that it took so long, God, for You to penetrate my cold, stony heart.  My stubbornness and need to be vindicated came at a high price.  Please allow a portion of this life lesson to seep into another’s soul and let her think twice before letting the devil control her thoughts the way I allowed him to for too much of my life.

Lastly Lord?  Thank You ever so much for temperance.  You showed it to me.  You impressed it upon my husband to be patient with me.  You allowed me time to heal and though it took longer than it should have, my wounds aren’t open anymore.  They don’t bleed unless I pick at my scars and God?  I’m tired of that ugliness marring my body.  I’m tired of having to pretend to be something, someone, that I am not.  A new creation, better, stronger, and trusting in You.  No, I’m not the Bionic Woman but I’m someone better than I was.  Through You, Lord God, I have been made new.  May it be for so for those reading this today is my prayer.  Love them, Lord, as You loved me.  In the name of Jesus, amen.

That's the Honest Truth!

May 13, 2015

Good morning!  Let's start the day focusing on the true and honest things this day.

To begin with, it's true many of us have to work for a living.  And you know what? That's not such a bad thing.  Seriously, isn't there a great satisfaction from knowing you are using your skills and talents to make this world a better place?  You matter and I daresay that if you didn't show up today, you would be missed in more ways than one.  But I think the real truth that is mentioned in Philippians 4:8 is that of knowing the truth and the truth setting you free.

Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior?  Do you accept His free gift of saving your soul? He demands nothing from us for this exceptional prize and I think many of us falter in that because we keep thinking that somehow we have got to pay for this.  We don't.  We couldn't!  And that's the truth!

Next, let's talk about what is honest.  As I type, the birds are out there singing.  Reminds me of that Randy Travis song "My Love is Deeper Than the Hollar" when he croons "And honest as a robin on a springtime window sill..."  Honesty is a trait I value most in this world.  If you ever betray my trust, it hurts my soul in a way that is hard to get over.  Not that I hold a grudge and won't give you a second chance and maybe even a third, but I do have my standards.  If you cannot mean what you say, perhaps its best to say nothing at all.  And--on that same note--if you must say something, make sure it is helpful and not harmful.  Truthfully, I do like to be shown the error of my ways so that I may improve, but could you do it in a nice way and not exaggerate or make false statements?  Thanks!

So, true and honest.  Pure would be a good word for these two adverbs.  Let's try today to let our words be few and when they must come out, let's use them to build others up.  

As I started to end this blog, I am reminded of my middle gson.  He messes up and has to be told--gently so as to not ruin a teachable moment--about the error of his ways.  Being that he is only four, he isn't quite ready to admit that he was wrong, much less apologize for any actions that may be deemed in appropriate.  And then, when told he mustn't do that again, I see the doubt in his eyes.  I see the hesitation as he knows he is supposed to agree but also the truth in his eyes that he knows good and well--and if I had any sense, I'd see it too--that he will most likely do this same thing again and perhaps even again.  Am I teaching him to lie, making him say one thing while not believing in the validity of it?  I question myself about this matter.  Knowing something is wrong yet still not wanting to turn from it because it may easily be explained...Hmn.  I can definitely see myself in this situation as I too often argue with God that my way is right or that I am justified in my response to what just happened to me.  Am I or is it my pride, my greed, my need to be right?  Usually the latter three.  

True and honest.  May we valiantly strive to have these characteristics be said about us.  May our actions reveal these traits in our daily lives.  Lastly, may we reflect Christ as we implement truth and integrity into our lives.  Others are watching.  May we--like Jesus was--be found with no fault in us is my prayer.  Amen?