In My Father's House

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Jesus said in John 14:2, "In my father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." On Thursday, August 28, He put the final touches on Mary's place and she is now there, with Him. How happy she must be! Her cancer is gone, as are her fears, her pains, and any other thing that could be construed as negative. She is at peace and the cares of this world are no longer hers. Today, folks will gather to say their last goodbyes to my sister. Stories will be exchanged. Some will tell of things I never knew about my sister. Some will only cry, shake my hand and/or hug me, and tell me what a blessing Mary was to them. Some will express outrage that she was too young, had too much going for her, and that it just isn't fair. They will be right: it's not fair. It's not fair that we get such a reward for the lives we lived while they were entrusted to us down here. Mary wasn't a saint and I imagine she will have many regrets as she stands beside our Lord and looks back at the little she did for Him. "Criticizing the dead? How awful!" That's probably what some of you are thinking but please don't misunderstand me. I'm not putting her down; I'm putting me down. For you see, I too am dying. I have a cancer of my own that is slowly eating away at me and taking over my life. I have the cancer of bitterness, strife, and hate. At times, it consumes me and spreads throughout my body. I have found that when I let the Lord radiate through me and allow His restorative medicine to flow through my blood, replacing it with the blood He shed for me on Calvary, that I am better. I need several transfusions though, 'cause I often slip and allow the sickness inside of me to well up again. As His child, I need to do so much better. Today I will be surrounded by mourners, even though it's called a "Celebration of Life." I will have another opportunity to do some good while here on earth so that when my room is ready and He comes for me, I won't have so much shame when He asks what I did in His name. The disgrace that I feel about all that Mary wasn't during her last days is a reminder to me that my next breath isn't promised and that if I am to leave behind a good report there is much work to be done. I have to be more diligent, more compassionate, more loving and less judgmental. I need to be unconcerned with my hurts, my feelings of rejection and dejection, my petty annoyances of again being left out of what should be a time of togetherness. I need to be the example that Christ has called me to be. Today will be tough as I am surrounded by folks who loved my sister. Emotions will run high and I must be in control of mine. "Thy rod and thy staff will comfort me." I need a good spiritual whoopen to be in shape for the road I am on today. I need my armor on and I need my shield of protection around my heart. For today isn't about me. It's not even really about Mary and her death. It's all about You, Lord. My prayer is to not disgrace You but to be a blessing. May You be high and lifted up today, Jesus. This is my prayer and my hope. Amen.