Boys to Men

I find myself thinking this morning about two fellas who have recently come into the world of adulthood.  Unsupervised, no moms around, do-it-yourself, trial-by-fire adults.  As I ponder their excitement at being on their own, I wonder:  were they trained for this?  Did Momma and Daddy properly prepare them for living on their own?  I mean, there's laundry to be kept up with, dishes to wash, groceries to buy, home maintenance to be done, as well as the other day in and day out things that embody having a home.  

I have no doubts they came from good stock.  I know their parents and feel that they have done a good job with their boys.  But to release them to the world?  To let them spread their wings and fly?  Hmn.  Legally, they are adults.  Sort of.  They can vote but they can't buy alcohol (which I doubt they'd do anyways).  Are they really ready for this experience of being homebodies without somebody there to look after them?

Guess we'll see.  Guess we'll see if they are in the faith that has been placed upon them.  Guess we'll see if they pass the test when the bills are due and taxes need to be paid and the oil tank refilled.  Guess we'll see when the toilet overflows or the dust piles up.  Guess we'll see how these two fellas will prevail when possible catastrophes strike.  We'll find out how they managed, how they handled these stumbling blocks, and how much they needed (if any) to call Dad and get some advice.

I'm not expecting bad news.  I believe that these guys will shine, that they will more than prove that the faith that has been placed in them was of good value.  I feel sure that the lessons taught to them from an early age will turn into a good investment as they enter this world of adulthood.  Will they mess up once in a while or just need some helpful words of wisdom?  Surely.  Don't you?  Don't I?  None of us has all the answers but the kicker here is being so well taught from the start that we aren't afraid to ask the Teacher for some clarification every now and then.  

"Prove your own selves" states II Corinthians 13:5.  It's exam time, fellas.  I know you are prepared.  I know you are going to shine.  Jesus Christ is in you and now it's time to let Him work in you all those things that your head knows and make them real in your hearts.  So go ahead:  show us what you've got!  I can't wait to see the final project!

Who is that?

September 28, 2015

This week, I will be exploring this verse from II Corinthians 13:5.  As I do so, I invite you to journey alongside of me as I seek out what is truly inside of me and how I am representing Jesus through it all.  

Do you ever look in the mirror and see someone else staring back at you?  Maybe it was a hint of the girl you used to be, the one who was more fun, light-hearted, and not so serious all the time.  Maybe it's the reflection of your mom (gasp!) looking back at you, reminding you of where you came from.  Or perhaps it's the resemblance to another family member, a sister or even brother (this happens when my hair gets cut too shortly).  Whatever the case, when your eyes meet those of the one peering at you, something about the whole situation causes you to ponder.

The other day, as I was holding and feeding my youngest grandson, I looked into his eyes and saw...me.  I saw my innocence shining back at me as he trustingly lie in my arms, knowing he was protected even though he didn't know protection was needed.  I saw depth in those beautiful blues that made me think he understood more than he was ready to deal with so instead, he'd just stay a baby a little longer.  I also saw a tiny boy, so lovable, and wondered how on earth someone could be so cared for at one time and then later left to his own devices and tossed carelessly aside.

Lastly, as my other two gsons were flitting about, Steve and I remarked to each other different things/actions they do now that we had done when we were younger.  For instance, the oldest one has a mouth on him.  It gets him into trouble when he talks back, or when he tries to make a joke out of a situation when his charm hasn't lessened the effect he is about to receive for some careless act that he had been repeatedly warned to not perform.  So much like me, poor child.  I've fervently admonished him to control his tongue and not be like ol' Granny.  He listened, wanting to know what I'd done to get me in such trouble, and then...then he was off again, letting it go in one ear and out the other.

Just how many selves of us are there?  As I ponder of these three examples this week, I am going to need some revelations.  What am I portraying to those around me?  What needs to change so I can be better and also so that I can be less?  Yeah, that's an odd phrase but sometimes we try to be more than we should so I am going to need to study up on what I do in life that works and what doesn't so that when the test comes around, I may pass with flying colors!

Let's pray!

Dear Lord,  

I know I didn't go into much detail today but I'm hoping that the words I penned will help others to begin their process today in discerning what You would have us to glean from today's verse.  Father, I don't want to say with my mouth that I am Your child while my actions are telling a whole other story.  Help me, I ask, to find the answers and to illustrate that I am indeed Yours without browbeating it into my kids, friends, and others who may be watching.  May I be the real thing is my prayer today.  In the holy name of Jesus I pray this:  amen.

All things work together for good

I've been a little under the weather for the past couple of days, and not just because it's raining.  My throat has been sore and I've had a slight fever.  Perhaps my body is rebelling against fall?  May it not be so!  It's my favorite time of the year, after all, so maybe the reason I have had to be chair and bed-ridden is instead so that time is put upon me to reflect over the Bible verse Steve and I have been studying and pondering on this week.

As we concluded our thoughts on it last night, we mostly discovered that this verse has been taken out of context for many who claim it as their life verse or who might have misunderstood its meaning in other ways.  It doesn't say that "all things work together for my good."  It just says "for good."  "For good to them that love God."  "For good to them that love God and are the called according to His purpose."

Steve and I discussed how sometimes you have to take one for the team, so to speak, in order that a higher purpose may be fulfilled.  Remember Joseph in the Bible (the one with the brothers, not the earthly dad to Jesus)?  Do you honestly think he would have chosen the suffering he went through, the imprisonment, and the neglect by those he helped get out of some pretty tight spots just so that one day he would be second in command?  His plight was used to save thousands from starvation and in his later years, he was commended for his common sense and his ability to delegate, rule, and decipher dreams.  The title he received:  do you think it made up for the years of angst?

A friend of ours went through a harrowing life event several years back.  It cost her her dignity, her reputation, and her home but she stuck it out, stood by her man, and now?  Now her children are flourishing, hubby has been restored to a position of great importance, and she has a new home that isn't filled with memories of his betrayal.  Would she have wished his adulterous actions upon her family?  Hardly.  But she's a different woman now and this horrid mistake was used to accomplish a greater good for many who now get to participate in the lives of the two incredible daughters who shine even brighter for Christ than ever before.  She has become a person of compassion and understanding in ways she never dreams she'd have to be but God had a reason for her to go through this trial.

While Steve and I in no way claim to have it all together, we too have been through some life experiences--some before we met and some since--that have shaped us into the couple we are today.  Super Couple?  Hmn.  Doubtful.  But we have overcome some of the obstacles of our pasts that made us stronger together and have allowed us to be examples of what God can do with a broken life when we allow His super glue to put souls back together.  Had we allowed "things" to not work together, had we thrown in the towel, or had we not loved God enough to put His will for our lives first, no doubt we wouldn't be together to this day.  

A lady I met recently told me of how she was still trying to figure out how good was going to come from her nephew's seemingly senseless death at a young age when here she was, old and used up.  What could she do that he couldn't?  Why when his life was just starting did it end and why was hers allowed to go on?  I couldn't answer her in depth but I did tell her that God knew what He was doing.  We can't always see it and maybe the answers aren't clear for years to come and yes, sometimes the answers just cannot be found this side of heaven.  But I fully believe He is working it for good.  The greater good.  For them that love Him.  For those whom He foreknew.  For them that are willing to work for His purpose.  We are never too old to be used by our Lord God.  He has a purpose for us being here.  Instead of wondering why He lets certain things happen, perhaps we should be asking Him what:  What do You want and need for me to do, Father?  I love You.  You first loved me.  What can I do for You?  How can You use me for the good of the rest?  When will I be relevant?  Who can I reach out to on Your behalf?  

The picture I used for today's verse is from a bulletin board of members of my church who answered a brief survey of who they are, what their testimonies are, why they would invite others to our church, and when they became members.  They were asked to share favorite memories and special dates.  They are the ones who are here now, carrying the torch, enabling the church to continue.  Theirs are the labors being done as they work together to teach, to minister, to spread the Good News.  Would their ancestors be proud that the light they instilled in them years ago is shining so brightly now?  I think so.  I know so.  For you see WE KNOW THAT ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THEM THAT LOVE GOD, TO THEM THAT ARE THE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE.  Aren't you just so glad He called you, friends?  Me too!

Let's pray!

Dear Lord, how I thank You for this verse and the promise it holds!  The abuses I suffered as a child helped to shape me into a more compassionate adult who can better relate to some of the issues that others have gone through.  While I wish my childhood years had been better spent, they did teach me much on who not to be when I got older.  You used those negatives to mold me into one who isn't as quick to judge another's motives because You have taught me to look deeper into actions folks do rather than just accepting at face value the supposed intent of the heart.

Lord, You are still using me and I think that is because I love You.  My life's messes and failings each teach me different things that are making the outline of this puzzled life of mine take form.  One day You will complete the work You have begun in me and I know it will be for good.  I used to wonder why You bothered with me and yes, there were times I feared You weren't even paying attention, for how else could such atrocities have been allowed?  But You were there.  You're here now.  You haven't forsaken me and You speak to me when I take the time to be still.  

Thank You for not giving up on me, for not disowning me during all those times I brought You much shame.  Thank You for keeping me from the world and its ugliness and wisely taking me out during Your time to accomplish the deeds You have set before me.  And it's not over yet, Lord.  There is still much to be done so I pray that my love for You deepens as does my dependence on You as I rely on Your Word to continue teaching me, growing me, and molding me more and more into the image of Jesus.  Sometimes that hurts but why should I expect special treatment or a life without pain?  He certainly didn't have such.  If I am to be like Him, there are certain sufferings I too must endure.  But those sufferings, You teach me, cannot compare with the glory ahead.  Keep my eyes on You is my plea, Father.  In the name of Christ Jesus, I lift them to You.  Amen.

Photographs and Memories

Last night a once dear and now sometimes friend posted some pictures from way back when.  Waaay back when.  Way back when I was a kid.  When I was full of dreams.  When life excited me.  When each day I awakened with great anticipation and expectation.  Way back when I didn't know the things I know now.

Oh, the memories that were evoked as I looked upon my former self.  My youth.  My vibrant body.  Yeah, I even only had the one chin then!  As I examined the photos and recalled the times, I found myself reaching.  For though this was once the happiest time of my life, I found myself no longer instantly recalling those childhood friends' names that I once knew as well as my own.  I pondered over where this picture was taken and what event surrounded it.  I sadly mourned as I saw faces that have been departed from this earth for some time now.  I gently recalled a boy or two or four that I once crushed on--gently, because those days version of love and today's reality of it are so vast in difference.

My friend Pam who posted these had this to say about that time period:

My heart floods me with memories as I imagine how we all had our hardships and how we hid them so well. How we were chosen because of our "circumstances" that at that time most of us were totally unaware of, I know I was. We made it this far and I hope that each and everyone of you have overcome the obstacles that brought us all together. We all had potential and I'm very thankful for the people in our lives that saw it in us at the time. Many of us may never know which teacher or person it was that referred us to be enrolled in the program. I just know that it was destined that our paths crossed and I know that I'm a better person for it. Upward Bound and the people that I met there changed my life for the better. Love to all.

Do you see those words that reflect this week's verse?  "How we were chosen..." Pam wrote.  Coincidence?  I think not!  For you see, indeed, that all things do work together for good...to the called, the chosen ones of God!  Just as in those wonderful Upward Bound Days, these Christ-filled Days allow those of us who were specially selected to be together the same opportunity as then:  to do good together.

Our pasts define us to an extent and the lessons gleaned from those long-ago days still are embedded in my heart.  As Pam also wrote "...because of our 'circumstances'..."  Oh my soul!  Had we known one another's private, secret, and sometimes shameful lives, most likely our common bonds would have only brought us closer because, you see, when we share our hearts, our souls, and our hidden demons, we allow light to permeate the darkness.  We allow hope to shine in the dim recesses of darkened hearts.  And, we allow healing to broken areas of our lives that still are tender when poked.

My Bible verse this week is "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are the called according to His purpose."  My former friends at Upward Bound taught me much about Jesus.  There were nights we gathered at the path of stairs leading to the dorms where singing, praising, and Bible Study went on.  Guitar music was strummed as unembarrassedly and unashamedly we'd sing our young hearts out to a Saviour we were just beginning to know.  Sunday mornings, my Black friends dressed to the nines as they prepared for church.  I always knew to wear a dress but there was something more vibrant about the way my Asheville High friends readied themselves and I so enjoyed seeing them enter the dorm's living room, all decked out, and joy abounding.  Fun times!  We'd watch and wait as each gal and guy made their entrance.  Whistles, laughter, and applause often ensued

We encouraged one another throughout the school year with letters and through our prayers for one another when time separated us.  A few times a year we had special reunions, because this was a summer program and we came from seven different high schools.  As we graduated from our respected institutes, we went our separate ways, occasionally running into one another somewhere.  Some of us still are in touch regularly, while others of us are Facebook Friends who--from time to time--get sweet reminders of the "good ol' days" and our hearts are once more filled with the knowledge that God used us chosen ones in a particular stance of time to do good, to work together, and to shine for Him.

Dear Lord,

As I reflect on the days of my summertime youth, it's a bittersweet feeling.  Why is it that those wondrous times couldn't go on forever?  Why separation from those we love best?  Why did the summers have to end when they were such a reprieve from "real life" and the hurts it had on standby, waiting to reclaim us and beat us down again?

Ahh, Lord:  I thank You for those high school summers and the balms they were to my heart.  I mourn those who have passed as I reflect on this time when we thought we had our whole lives ahead of us and yet--for some--those times would soon be over.

Lord?  I ask You now to bless those former friends, wherever they are and in whatever condition they may be.  Use these photos from Pam to remind them of happy times and may their memories remind them of the hope You placed in our hearts then and the hope we have now.  Our pasts don't have to prick us, Lord.  They can soothe us when we reflect on the fact that though we may have changed, You didn't.  You are the same God that chose us then and You are the same God now, still selecting us to work with new friends for good because of our love for You.  Oh, may we make You proud today is my hope.  In the name of Jesus Christ I pray.  Amen.

Put me in, Coach!

Is this verse true to you?  Do you know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose?  If it is, then that means you have some sense.  Your eyes, ears, mouth, touch, and smell can tell what is going on around you, working on your behalf and on the behalves of others who have been chosen by Him to fulfill certain assignments in life.  

Chosen.  Isn't that such a wonderful word?  For most of my life, I was the one left behind, the last one picked for the team, for the group activity.  Except when someone needed the use of my special talents and skills. My brains, if you will.  I was always the "smart one" and when group assignments came to class, guess who was selected to be one of its members?  Oh no:  still not as first choice because--after all--there are just some loyalties that know no limits.  Often I was dumbfounded as the less-intelligent kids were picked by their friends to partake in something that counted for a large percentage of the grade.  How I envied such acceptance!

Guess what?  I have it.  Had it all along.  Those little stumbling stones from my past that made my self-confidence nearly non-existent were working, even then, to make me who I am today.  Bold.  Willing to volunteer rather than waiting to be called upon.  Unafraid to voice my thoughts and opinions for fear of ridicule.  The one who initiates activities instead of wondering why no one does anything around here.

Friends, is this you today?  It doesn't have to be.  As children of God, we have been specially selected--before we were even brought into existence!  Talk about being first choice!  

And we know... states this verse.  We know.  No more doubt.  No more feeling less than.  No more desperation to fit in.  We are His.  He chose us.  Us.  You.  Me.  But He didn't stop there:  oh no.  He chose us to work together:  together for good.  We aren't in it alone anymore.  Woo hoo!!  

If some of you are scratching your heads and thinking "Uh, Stef?  The verse says all 'things.'  I'm a person not a thing"  then let me point you on to the words following:  to them that love God.  Mmn hmn.  See it now?  You love God, right?  Thus, you are working with your fellow man because--once again--you are the called.  Called according to His purpose, not some grand scheme of man.  Nor for popularity contests.  Called according to His purpose.  God's.  Got it?

So, because you are so smart, because you know that you are working alongside of others, and since you love God then I guess there's just one thing left.  Work.  Oh come on now.  If everything was easy everyone would do it but since it's not, since some things just cannot be done through wishful thinking.  We've got to step up, offer assistance, and join our brothers and sisters in Christ in working what needs to be worked for the greater good of us all.

Here's an example.  Yesterday at the Card Ministry Meeting, we were short two ladies.  But, we also had a new one to join us.  Throw in the sweet young girl who came with her babysitter and voila!  Mission accomplished.  Needs discussed, cards divvied up, and...and then someone had the bright idea of asking the Sunday School Classes to help pay for stamps.  Hmn.  Now how about that?  Why would we ask for others to assist us when we--regardless of how many came to participate--had up unto this point just paid for the stamps ourselves?  Oh yeah:  I remember!  It's so that others could be a blessing too.  Much as some of us would like to have unlimited funds, sometimes there are so many cards to send that it can get a little expensive for those who live on fixed budgets.  And because ol' slew foot is out there, trying every way he can to get us to not work together, he could easily make this ministry a drudgery when folks feel like they just can't participate because of a few stamps--a few stamps that a couple of dollars can easily be obtained by a willing few who want to be a part in some way but cannot attend meetings.  Ta Da!  Purpose fulfilled!!  

As I conclude today, let me challenge you to examine yourselves.  Are you working together or are you trying to do it all on your own?  Don't you know, dear one, that when you do this what you mean for good can too often be turned into a task that you dread, that there is no joy in, and that you soon neglect?  Don't be a grumbler, murmurer, nor a whiny goat.  Get in there and support your teammates.  Ask for help when you find yourself floundering.  Mostly though?  Remember, God picked you.  You!  He's using us all and there aren't any bench warmers on His team.  We all get to play so get out there and do what needs to be done.  Amen?

Am I Beautiful?

"Are you beautiful," the blind lady asked me.  This was upon introducing ourselves to one another and hearing my name.  "Stefanie.  Stefanie.  That is such a lovely name.  I've never met a Stefanie."  She savored my name as though it was an unexpected delight.  "Tell me:  are you beautiful?"

She asked this with feeling, expecting perhaps a tale of my rapturous good looks for one with such a wondrous name as Stefanie.  Surely that name alone had launched at least a thousand and one ships, surely moreso than any Helen of Troy's could have?

How could I answer that?  How do I describe myself to one who cannot see, who has no prior knowledge of me, and one from whom I know so little about and in that brief moment was unable to determine what she considered attractive.  I joked back to her "Well, my husband tells me each day I am pretty and that I am beautiful to him.  Does that count?"

A flippant response but the truth of it is blatant.  My husband indeed thinks I am beyond compare in his eyes.  Rarely has a day gone by when he hasn't spoken in some flattering way about my appearance to him and how much he loves me, how happy he is to have me in his life, and how much he loves me.  Yeah:  I wrote that twice because Steve tells me this frequently throughout the day!

Now, some of you reading this have known me for many years and are right now conjuring up my freckled-face, my wayward hair, my crooked teeth, and my pretty blue eyes (thankfully I've always had those to fall back on).  You may be thinking "Stefanie is beautiful?  Stefanie?  Ha!  Good one!"  And I would be shaking my head in disbelief, right along with you, except...

Except...

Except that...sometimes I think I am beautiful.  Sometimes I do think I am pretty.  Sometimes I even think others besides my husband and sweet grandsons may actually find something attractive about me.  I mean, after all, if these men who know me best can see it, surely there must be some truth in it, right?  Right?

I Peter 3:3-4 states:

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

I am not a snazzy dresser and hardly wear any jewelry.  My hair is too short to braid.  Do I have part two, though, of these verses?  Do I have a gentle and quiet spirit that is of great worth and beauty in my Lord's sight?  Oh, I want to!  I want to reflect His glory, His peace, and His love in my demeanour.  I want to exude His characteristics that made others flock to Him, that caused folks from miles around to desire to be near Him, to hear His words.  I want my family and friends to see that it's not what my outward man looks like that is important but that they see Jesus in me and as a result crave my company as well, my presence around to balm their tempestuous souls.

Am I beautiful?   I guess it depends upon whom you ask.  To the lady that I met yesterday, I like to think that as she recalls our conversation she heard something in my voice to make her think so.  I'd like to think when you read my blogs you find something that makes you picture in your minds one who is pleasing to be around for these moments that we connect.  And should you ever run into me in person and see with your very own eyes what my appearance is in real life?  My hope then is that you will have on your rose-colored-glasses and be kind and look inside of my soul, into my heart, and focus on Christ in me, my hope of glory, and my Redeemer.  He took this broken vessel and is shaping me into one of purity and perfection to model Himself.  Yeah, there are still a few cracked spots He is working on but when He completes me?  I shall be beautiful indeed!

Let's pray!

As I look upon others today, Lord God, I ask that You give me Your eyes, Your vision, and Your clarity to see who they are on the inside as well as on the outside.  Father I pray for sight that allows me to see beauty instead of baggage, to see beyond the outward appearance and instead to see into the souls.  Help me to not be so casual in either dismissing or accepting others because of their looks.  We are all beautiful in Your sight.  Help me today and always, I ask, to look upon the heart as You do.  In Your precious Son Jesus' name I pray.  Amen.

Am I Beautiful?

I Peter 3:3-4 states:

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Yesterday at church, I got to meet a woman who has been coming for a while but whom I hadn't had the opportunity to talk with.  So, before Sunday School began, I took a couple of moments to introduce myself to her and her daughter.  Here's the kicker:  the woman is blind.  I knew that about her from prior conversations but I treated her no differently than I would any other new soul I was meeting.  Well, almost undifferently.  I mean, seriously, it'd be kind of mean now wouldn't it, to offer her my hand of fellowship without first guiding her to it?

We chatted a couple of moments and talked about our names.  Hers was Mary and I told her I once had a sister with that name so it'd be easier for me to remember her with that association.  When I told her my name, she breathed happily.  "Stefanie.  Stefanie.  That is such a lovely name.  Tell me:  are you beautiful?"

What?  I mean, I know she is blind, but...but how does one answer such a question to a stranger?

I went to my old stand-by friend Humor, and joked "Well, my husband thinks so.  He tells me I am beautiful all the time."

The class was about to start so we concluded our conversation and I was left pondering about her words for the rest of the day.  Am I beautiful was the question posed.  As I think about it, and about what makes a soul beautiful, I am stumped.  Often I get complimented on my pretty blue eyes and I have to agree:  they are gorgeous!  But can I take any credit for them?  Hardly.  God gave them to me and as I think about that I wonder:  do these eyes of mine look at others or do they see them as they really are?  Do they focus on the outer appearances of others (okay visual image of Matthew McConaughey leave me now!) or do I look more deeply at the things which really make one pretty, wholesome, attractive?  It is written that Jesus was not a handsome man in Isaiah 53:2 (He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him, nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him.).  However, folks flocked around Him everywhere He went.  What drew them to this Man, to this Creature, this One?

Perhaps it was "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" as I Peter states above.  Obviously, the qualities and characteristics of Jesus still make thousands flock to His side daily, albeit via the power of prayer and learning of Him through the scriptures.  His beauty is beyond compare.  The impression He leaves upon our hearts is indescribable.

So, am I beautiful?  When others look upon me, do they see my freckles, my scars, my usually mussy hair, and the laughter in my eyes?  Or, do they look beyond the joviality and see the hidden pains, the unshed tears?  Do they hear the catch in my voice when they realize the chuckles are really hiding hurts that though buried often like to pop up and say "we're still here" at the most inopportune times?  Do they see my ugly, blackened heart or do they see how Jesus took those blights and is turning them into something of rare value and beauty?  He promised to complete me.  I'm not there yet so you tell me:  what do you see when you look at me?  Maybe your opinions can help me to better answer my new friend the next time she and I chat.  

Fifteen Words

As Steve and I were discussing life the other day, this idea came to me. How long does it take to write down fifteen words--whether in an email, Facebook note, or even to just jot down on a piece of paper? Less than a minute!

Just wanted you to know
I miss you and am
thinking of you. Love, me

One minute to offer hope, friendship, and affirmation to someone who may be struggling to feel as though anyone even cares?! Today I challenge you to send a note like this to one friend you may not have been in touch with lately. To one soul who maybe isn't it your realm anymore--whether that be church, your employment place, or your social set. To one family member who got lost in the shuffle. To one you miss and didn't even realize how much until just now.

Fifteen words. One minute. Untold value.

Sticks and Stones

Have you ever gotten unexpected funds? It's nice, huh? This particular check came from the NC Unclaimed Cash Program. My mother-in-law apparently had never cashed this and when Clyde passed, we found it in his things.

As I pondered yesterday on it and how my family decided I could keep it all as a "bonus" for the administrative work I'd done in settling the estate, I thought of how Donna would roll over in her grave to know I was getting her hard-earned paycheck. For you see, she wasn't that fond of me. As a matter of fact, some of her last words to me were that she wanted Steve back as she lay dying on her deathbed and I had just thanked her for the gift of him as we were celebrating our 9th anniversary.

Hello, Stumbling Block! I wondered how you were going to show up to conclude this week's topic verse.

Having someone constantly against you sure makes walking the Christian walk tough. Between Donna and my parents, the rocks were everywhere. Add to them the ones the world scattered and you might better understand who I am today.

Friends, parents, in-laws: be careful. If your beloved chose someone you don't 100% approve of, do your best to accept that choice. And if you find it's more than you can handle, at least keep your opinions to yourselves. Don't put that loved one in the position of having to choose, for you might find you are the one left behind. You might find yourself on the road alone, tripped up by your own selfishness and unwillingness to embrace rather than accepting the new family member. Don't let there be woe in your life when there could instead be wow.

Let's pray.

Dear Lord, so many folks in our lives hinder when they should be helping instead. Remind us that but for Your grace we too would be left on the wayside. May we help make pathways smooth rather than rocky is my earnest desire. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

Caught between a rock and a hard place

Caught between a rock and a hard place.  I'm sure most of us are familiar with this expression, as well as its truth in our lives at one time or another as difficult choices have had to be made concerning life events.

Our nation is at a boiling point.  Racism, politics, religion, various debates over abortion, gay rights, the separation of church and state.  The list is endless but you know what?  The choice is easy:  do the right thing.  Not in your eyes, but in God's eyes.  Did you ever read the book or see the movie "A Time To Kill" by John Grisham?  A little black girl was beaten and raped by two white supremacists.  Her father shot and killed both of them and was tried for murder.  What did the jury decide?  Acquitted by reason of temporary insanity.  It was an excellent book and movie and the topics dealt with throughout it are in part what I am blogging about today.

Do you know how the jury must've struggled with this issue?  Sure, a horrible crime was committed but did that justify the actions taken by the victim's daddy?  I don't know.  That's not true:  I would have voted for acquittal as well.  My flesh would demand justice and the old saying of "an eye for an eye" would have been prevalent in my thought process.  But...

Would I have been right?  Would I have been justified in my decision?  After all, my Bible teaches me that vengeance belongs to God and that He will repay.  Whew.  Now there's a toughie!  Waiting for God to avenge such atrocities is not in our nature, now is it?  Like Carl Lee, I would have been hard pressed to not seek retribution for a vile act committed against my daughter, my grandsons, my loved ones.

How hard it is to sit back and let the Lord handle our issues that we want instant gratification for and judgment of.  But, on the flip side, how easy it is to allow Him to not deal harshly with us, to not make rash decisions in the heat of the moment, and to accept His forgiveness for the horrid deeds we do on a daily basis.  Yeah, I doubt many of us are rapists and/or murderers but when we do things that cause our sisters and brothers to stumble as they look upon how we live our lives, I wonder if we are any less guilty.  Are we knowingly inviting others to think lewd thoughts of us because of the way we dress or to instigate hatred because of things that may be expressed on our clothing?  When we discuss abortion and gay rights, are we inciting others to acts that may cause harm to others?  When we plan war and keep our borders closed, how does this affect lives?  When we don't support the poor and hungry when it is in our power to do so, what does this say about us?

Ahh, my friends, those fingers are not pointed at you this day but rather at myself.  As I examine my daily ritual, what am I doing to not hinder the work of God?  What am I not doing to love my brethren?  What am I withholding as I go out to spend money on self instead of giving to ones who have so much less than I do?  Oh sure:  I've been known to "pay it forward" on some occasions and I get much joy out of that.  My husband and I faithfully tithe and feel the Lord has blessed us tremendously because of this.  And yeah, every so often we send offerings above the tithe to various charities and organizations, and of course we donate our used clothing, as well as purchasing new for things such as Christmas Angels.  We have a giving nature but...but we could do more.  We should do more.  While I realize money is often the easiest way to assist, giving of our time is often much harder to do.  Putting on the face of Jesus each day and living each moment to please Him is tougher, no doubt.

In conclusion, today I challenge you and myself to do better.  To love more fiercely.  To protect the defenseless.  To spread good cheer rather than ill will.  I encourage you to encourage others.  Offer that hand.  Pay someone's bill if it's within your power to do so.  Call that lonely soul who is perhaps sitting there wondering why no one cares.  Don't let skin color, sexual orientation, political party, religious choice, nor economical status affect the way you love.  Be that difference today that points others to Jesus and remember where it is that He brought you from.  Make Him proud today is my hope for us all.

Life is a rock

Good morning!  Are you smiling right now?  I am!  Just a few moments ago, my daughter stopped by on her way to taking the kiddos to school.  As I went out to the van to tell them hello, I was greeted by two happies and one grumpy.  As a matter of fact, Mr. Grumpy Pants threw his bottle at me as his displeasure of being so rudely taken from his safe haven was interrupted by this nonsense of getting up so early to take his playmates away for the day.  Kisses for Granny?  I think not!  Where is my PawPaw and why isn't he releasing me from this car seat prison?

Ahh, petulant toddlers.  Gotta love 'em!  

Isn't it great when we can see beyond the presentation and realize the facts of what is going on?  For instance, Tubbs being ornery could have made me mad, feel unloved, and ruined my day had I not known the reason behind his poor behaviour.  I could have stumbled about all day, feeling that I am never going to get through to this boy, and thinking that he's always gonna want PawPaw over me.  I could have not even tried to cajole a smile out of him and soothe him as he struggled to break free of the restraints that were keeping him from doing what he pleased.  I could have even thrown his bottle back at him after having had to pick it up again from his temper tantrum but...but I chose to smile instead.  I chose to gently rub his arm and I chose to talk sweetly and quietly to him.  Guess what?  No, the savage beast wasn't soothed completely but he was calmed.  He was beginning to be receptive and his chubby little fingers clutched onto my hand and brought it to his cheek for a moment.  

Today, you too may encounter some folks who just wanted to stay home and burrow instead of being thrust into the world.  They may glare at you, talk hatefully, and--though I hope this won't be the case!--they might throw some things at you.  Step back and pause.  Let your potential "woe" become a "whoa" instead as you ponder the larger picture here.  Reflect on what is really going on and then, objectively, do your part to make the path straight and to not trip up on the stone that is being put there by the tempter to ruin your day.  

Oh, and by the way, if you are Mr. or Ms. Grumpy Pants yourself?  Reconsider your actions.  Is it the world's fault you overslept, planned poorly, or whatever else it may be that is causing you to be a wet blanket?  No, I didn't think so.  Don't you be a pebble in someone else's shoe either.   

Let's pray!

Good morning, Lord Jesus!  As our day has already begun, I ask that You remind us that we are here to reflect You in all of our ways and that includes our early morning rituals.  Some say they can't function without their coffee but Lord?  I cannot function and face the day without first facing You.  I need You to boost me, to give me that jolt of awareness, and to warm my insides.  

Thank You for another beautiful September morn.  Thank You for a good night's sleep.  And mostly I thank You for loving me even when I am at my worst.  Help me today, I pray, to be a balm and not a block in someone's path.  Amen. 

What are you doing here?

"Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes!"  Matthew 18:7

{Note to self:  starting a blog off with a warning might cause readers to stop reading.  Hmn.  I hope not!  For you see, then I would be a stumbling block and they might not read about these pebbles and rocks and other things that may block our paths in this so-called Christian walk.  Sigh.  Lord, keep 'em reading, please, so that together we might find some common ground and a smoother way.}

The above verse is the one chosen by Steve and me for this week's study.  Last night as we shared our preliminary thoughts, here are a few highlights:

• It is rare that exclamation marks are used in the Bible.  This verse does so twice.  Twice!  That must mean it is especially important.
• "Woe" is a forceful word, implying to stop, pay attention, or grief may follow.
• It's a given that the world is going to trip us up.
• The one who causes others to stumble is a man you don't want to be around when God's wrath strikes.
• Am I that man?

This one is going to be deep, folks.  Self-reflection sometimes shows our ugliness rather than the beauty we'd rather project to the world.  Looking deep inside of ourselves to see what they see versus what we think we are showing is quite revealing indeed.  For instance, are the characteristics of Christ evident or do we have too much concealer on for Him to shine through?  Are we unconsciously projecting things that make others doubt and/or disbelieve our words because our actions are so dissimilar?  

The other day in church, it was Homecoming and we had several visitors and several folks we had never met.  A dear lady friend of mine had previously expressed concern for one of her family members that would be attending.  As we greeted one another, she again urgently voiced her concern that her brother really needed to be here and that he needed to be saved.  Jokingly, Steve saw him walk in, and said he'd get right on it.  He headed his way and my friend and I kind of watched to see what would happen next as my characteristically peaceful man headed towards her sibling.  Turns out Steve knew him because he was a customer in his place of business and rapport had already been established long ago.  They laughed and greeted one another affectionately and she and I heaved a sigh of rel

Later, I asked Steve something to the effect of would that fella have been surprised to see Steve at church?  Where he works, he encounters all sorts of men and while most are prone to be more businesslike, there are those with whom Steve gets to know more personally and is able to joke around with.  This guy happened to be one that Steve was fond of and had bore the brunt of much frivolity and humor between his work partner and the fellas Steve works with.  Thankfully, it was nice bantering and not ugly stuff that can so often lead one to feel shame when later faced with said man in a church setting.  That being said, no:  this man was not the least bit surprised to see Steve in church and because of the previously established relationship, it added to his comfort level of being in a strange place and--hopefully--it will be easier for him to attend again, knowing he has a friendly face there to greet him and also to talk with later about things once the Holy Spirit continues working in his heart (yes, I write that with confidence because, you see, my friend has made her brother one of her number one priorities and God listens when His children fervently pray).

It could have gone the other way, though.  If Steve had been the type of man who did not present himself as a child of God, this guy could have been instantly turned off and thought "What kind of church is this that would allow a guy like Steve in it?  Unh unh:  it's not for me."  

In conclusion, we must stay constant in and out of season, friends.  We can't project to the world too many different sides of us because it may cause them to stumble.  We can't be one thing in one place and the polar opposite in another.  So, as we go about our days, may this be our prayer:

Father in Heaven, as You look down upon us today, remind us that we are always under the microscope.  While we may not realize our actions are being recorded, someone is studying us and storing up the way we act.  When those moments come for us to shine, may the groundwork laid be strong enough for them to stand upon as well as we seek to draw other closer to You rather than repel them with our daily actions.  In the name of Jesus I pray this:  amen.

No More Driving Miss Daisy

It's time.  It has to be done.  This thing must be let go of.

Really?  I mean, I don't mess with it much.  Can't I just keep it for "once in a while times" if I promise to be really careful?  

Hmn mn.  You know the damage it can cause.

But I love this!  It's been a part of my life for so long.  Don't make me give it up!

I'm not making you, child.  This is your choice.  You know the grief it causes, can cause, and the results from the desire you feel towards this.  But again, love, I'm not making you do anything.

Free will?  Then why do I feel so...conflicted?  If I'm sure it isn't causing any harm, why should I let go of it?  I mean, seriously, I hardly ever fool with it.  I'm not hurting anyone when I use it.  Does it really have to go, Lord?!

Ahh, saying goodbye is never an easy thing, is it?  Whether it's to an old friend, an old home, habit, or hindrance, letting go is sometimes the hardest thing we humans must do in order for our walks to be propelling us forward as we leave behind those things that have been holding us back and causing us to stumble and trip over as we endeavour to move ahead.  Sometimes the loss is tangible-- such as when the object of our desire is physical--while other times the loss is so deep that though its disappearance isn't visible to the naked eye, the hole left behind is devastating.

Tonight, my husband is out on Miss Daisy, taking one final pleasure ride, before he takes her to be sold tomorrow.  It's bittersweet for us both, mostly bitter for him and sweet for me.  He knows the angst I feel each time he takes her out.  And yeah, he doesn't abuse the privilege of riding a motorcycle but those other drivers?  The ones who aren't focused on him?  Whose thoughts are on any and everything else other than his safety?  Those are the ones we fret over and have to look out for.  Those are the ones who cause me to stumble, to fear, and to worry until I get the call that he has arrived at his destination safely.

Now, just to avoid any confusion, having a motorcycle is not a sin.  It is not a case of poor judgment nor is it a death sentence.  However, riding it to work each day is a detriment to my sanity.  Having to be on constant pins and needles because of the worry felt when I hear the stories of the close calls--not to mention the stories I don't hear from my sweet son-in-love who is a Paramedic and has to answer far too many calls where the cyclist didn't come out so well in accidents that were mostly caused by other drivers--grieves me to no end.

Until tonight, that is.  Tonight my heart is surging with hope that those days are over.  While I fully trust my Lord to keep my husband safe in every situation he will encounter, it's so much easier without this magnet for stress that attracts too many would-be scenarios to dance around in my head.

To bring this all together, while my husband's bike-riding has weakened my trust, my faith is still strong.  God has and will take care of him and whatever He allows in Steve's life is for his good.

Even now, I hear the rumble in the distance as he approaches our drive.  Sigh.  I'm so sorry that he has to give up his bike.  She's been a gas-saver, a source of fun, and a release from some of the chaos that built in my dear hubby's mind from the hard days at work as he drove off on her and allowed the wind to carry his thoughts far away and to just enjoy being one with nature.  I know it's hard for him to say goodbye to Miss Daisy.  He'll have one last ride tomorrow as he takes her away.  For good.  For good.  My good.  His good.  And hopefully, to whomever buys her.

Still keeping score?

transgression:  an act that goes against a law, rule, or code of conduct; an offense.

sin:  an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law.

Synonyms (not to be confused with cinnamons) are a wonderful gift for us writers.  When about to overuse a word, if we will just be diligent, we can soon find one that means nearly the same but doesn't overwhelm the reader with repetitious words.  Plus, it often affords us with a better, more fitting expression.

Mark 11:25 tells us:  "Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions." 

Notice first the word "forgive."  It is defined as a verb, meaning:  stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.  Also it means to cancel a debt.  

Next, notice the word "against" which is defined as in opposition to.  I think we are good with the other words so, let's proceed to rewrite this verse with these different synonyms, shall we?

Whenever Stefanie stands praying, Stefanie is to stop feeling angry or resentful towards anyone who offended Stefanie or made a mistake involving Stefanie, so that Stefanie's Father in heaven will also cancel Stefanie's debt for Stefanie's immoral acts that Stefanie committed against God and His laws.

Ouch.

It's one thing to make someone mad, hurt his/her feelings, or offend them but to do this against God, to do this against the One Who gave me life, Who chose me as His own, Who forgave me of all of my own filthiness?  Well, that's quite another, now isn't it?  I would be mortified beyond measure should you all be able to see my past errors, the atrocious thoughts I have had, to hear the mean things I have said, and the deeds done in the flesh?  Ooh, I shudder to think what you would think of me should you know all--or even just a few--of the ways I have shamed myself, my family, my friends, and most importantly my God.

If--and I assure you that He did--God can forgive me so easily of my wrongdoings and lawbreaking, then surely I can do no less.  For you see, God didn't so easily forgive:  it took the death of His Son Jesus to make the way for this ol' gal to be redeemed.  All He asks of me is to let go of my pride and little feelings.  I don't have to see my child beaten for things she didn't do.  I don't have to sit by as my child is spat upon and mocked for things the world just didn't understand.  I didn't have to sacrifice my daughter for a world full of rebellious, selfish, ungrateful, and unholy people such as me.  Nope.  I just have to follow His example.  And surely even someone as simple as me can do this, right?  

Let's pray!

Ah Lord, I can hear it now:  easier said than done.  And You and I both know, Father, how uneasy this has been for me during my fifty-one-years of life.  And also, You and I know that some infractions are easier to let go of than the ones that have left the lifelong scars that are so evident still on my tattered heart.

But Lord, even the worst of these harms against me cannot compare to the sufferings of Christ on my behalf.  Were our records placed beside each other, were our wrongs done to us compared as though some score were being kept, mine would be so small when likened to the one of Jesus.

Sigh.  Forgiveness is so hard for me, Lord!  But I guess that's because I personalize it (hard not to when I am the one who was hurt and/or victimized) instead of looking at the bigger picture and examining why these things were allowed in my life and what lessons I took from them.  So, as I keep standing for You, Lord God, my prayer and my plea is for You to toughen my soft skin, cleanse my mind of past deeds that still want to jab at me, and to make me more like Jesus.  Compel me to love without judging.  Help me to accept without prejudice.  Teach me to embrace no matter the dirt or evident the grime.  Develop me into Your servant of peace and not one who stirs up strife.  With Your help, Father God, I can be better.  I'm trusting in You to perfect me.  In the name of Jesus Christ I pray.  Amen.