Am I Beautiful?

"Are you beautiful," the blind lady asked me.  This was upon introducing ourselves to one another and hearing my name.  "Stefanie.  Stefanie.  That is such a lovely name.  I've never met a Stefanie."  She savored my name as though it was an unexpected delight.  "Tell me:  are you beautiful?"

She asked this with feeling, expecting perhaps a tale of my rapturous good looks for one with such a wondrous name as Stefanie.  Surely that name alone had launched at least a thousand and one ships, surely moreso than any Helen of Troy's could have?

How could I answer that?  How do I describe myself to one who cannot see, who has no prior knowledge of me, and one from whom I know so little about and in that brief moment was unable to determine what she considered attractive.  I joked back to her "Well, my husband tells me each day I am pretty and that I am beautiful to him.  Does that count?"

A flippant response but the truth of it is blatant.  My husband indeed thinks I am beyond compare in his eyes.  Rarely has a day gone by when he hasn't spoken in some flattering way about my appearance to him and how much he loves me, how happy he is to have me in his life, and how much he loves me.  Yeah:  I wrote that twice because Steve tells me this frequently throughout the day!

Now, some of you reading this have known me for many years and are right now conjuring up my freckled-face, my wayward hair, my crooked teeth, and my pretty blue eyes (thankfully I've always had those to fall back on).  You may be thinking "Stefanie is beautiful?  Stefanie?  Ha!  Good one!"  And I would be shaking my head in disbelief, right along with you, except...

Except...

Except that...sometimes I think I am beautiful.  Sometimes I do think I am pretty.  Sometimes I even think others besides my husband and sweet grandsons may actually find something attractive about me.  I mean, after all, if these men who know me best can see it, surely there must be some truth in it, right?  Right?

I Peter 3:3-4 states:

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

I am not a snazzy dresser and hardly wear any jewelry.  My hair is too short to braid.  Do I have part two, though, of these verses?  Do I have a gentle and quiet spirit that is of great worth and beauty in my Lord's sight?  Oh, I want to!  I want to reflect His glory, His peace, and His love in my demeanour.  I want to exude His characteristics that made others flock to Him, that caused folks from miles around to desire to be near Him, to hear His words.  I want my family and friends to see that it's not what my outward man looks like that is important but that they see Jesus in me and as a result crave my company as well, my presence around to balm their tempestuous souls.

Am I beautiful?   I guess it depends upon whom you ask.  To the lady that I met yesterday, I like to think that as she recalls our conversation she heard something in my voice to make her think so.  I'd like to think when you read my blogs you find something that makes you picture in your minds one who is pleasing to be around for these moments that we connect.  And should you ever run into me in person and see with your very own eyes what my appearance is in real life?  My hope then is that you will have on your rose-colored-glasses and be kind and look inside of my soul, into my heart, and focus on Christ in me, my hope of glory, and my Redeemer.  He took this broken vessel and is shaping me into one of purity and perfection to model Himself.  Yeah, there are still a few cracked spots He is working on but when He completes me?  I shall be beautiful indeed!

Let's pray!

As I look upon others today, Lord God, I ask that You give me Your eyes, Your vision, and Your clarity to see who they are on the inside as well as on the outside.  Father I pray for sight that allows me to see beauty instead of baggage, to see beyond the outward appearance and instead to see into the souls.  Help me to not be so casual in either dismissing or accepting others because of their looks.  We are all beautiful in Your sight.  Help me today and always, I ask, to look upon the heart as You do.  In Your precious Son Jesus' name I pray.  Amen.