Soul Survivor

May 22, 2015

Misery. Troubles. Pain. Excruciating or acute distress. What words describe that darkness in your soul? And what is a soul really? Dictionary.com describes it this way: the spiritual part of humans regarded in its moral aspect, or as believed to survive death and be subject to happiness or misery in a life to come.

At some point in our lives, each of us has suffered heartache. Each of us has been tempted to throw in the towel, give up, scream, cry, beat our fists against the wall. Something--or someone--has so torn apart our worlds that had it not been for the mercy of God, we wouldn't be here today to see that we indeed were not alone in our roughest times, our darkest days. Joy did come in the morning--even though it may not have been the first morning after. Or the next. Or maybe even the next.

I've been reflecting on how much my life has changed over the past two plus years since my mother died. There was so much heartache, bitterness, hurt, red-hot anger, humility...I think I ran the whole gamut of adjectives that described my bruised and battered heart. Many of you started on that journey with me while others left me on the way because my pain was just too real and you had your own things to carry. And that's okay. Now. There is no limit on grief, no certain day when one suddenly wakes up and the loss is no longer felt. No, it takes time and our Lord often works so gradually that we aren't even aware that progress is being made but you know what? It is. We may not be able to measure it nor track it but one day...One day the hurt isn't as strong. The tears don't come as easily. That memory makes you smile instead of buckle. You find yourself calmer, your temper is settled.

How does this miracle take place? Through God's unfailing love. I'll say it again: through God's unfailing love. Unfailing: now there's a word for us! The definition goes like this: not giving way; not falling short of expectation; completely dependable; inexhaustible;  endless.

Yep, sure sounds like God to me! His supply of patience while we mourn, grieve, or just feel sad is inexhaustible. His love is endless and does not fall short. When others can no longer give, He is completely dependable and ready to comfort us, to listen to our woes, and to let us just relax in Him as He holds us while we cry. Too many times we think we are in the process alone when instead, we have the Great Comforter beside of us, stilling us, healing us. How great is our God?!

Let's pray!

Dear Lord in Heaven, how my heart thrills as I think on You. The way You love me and put up with me and continue to inspire me dazzles my tiny little brain! But even more so than that, God? It--You!!--amaze me. Always there. Always ready to help. Always putting me first. To say "thank You" seems too small but it's all I've got, God.

Thank You. I rejoice in You this moment and I am glad, so very glad, You are my Father, Friend, and Faithful Companion. Thank You for loving me when I have been most unlovable. Thank You for not running off when my emotions were too raw for others to handle. Thank You for teaching me all of the lessons I learned through this season of life. I am better because of it and though I probably wouldn't have done so at the first, I praise You now for allowing this trial in my life to become a testimony of Your love.

There are still some issues and many more lessons to grow from but with You by my side, I can do this. You can do this through me.

In the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.