Happy birthday to me!

June 18, 2015

Tomorrow is Wandering Through The Bible's second birthday.  Can you believe it?  For two whole years I have been sharing and baring my heart and soul with you as I have sought to have a closer relationship with my Father God and my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.  

Oh the words I have written--and deleted--as my thoughts have wandered to and fro!  Topics have included things such as mothers, daughters, husbands, friends, fellowship, failures, guarding the tongue and captivating the thoughts.  Inspiration has come from my hubby, my grandsons, Walmart, dogs, nature, the internet, and messages heard on the radio, in chat rooms, and in church. 

It's been quite a journey.  What started out as a way for a friend and I to continue our morning Bible Study evolved into lessons on how to study the Bible, how to learn that no matter how rotten one thinks she is, there is still One Who redeems and restores.  Sadly, there were times when I'd use this blog as a platform for whatever social incident offended me at the time but even in those incidences, God showed me His grace.  The blog has also been a great way to meet new people.  Prayers have been shared as mutual angst was empathized over.  Encouragement has been sent to those who just need a little pick-me-up.  Posts were frequently shared as a topic hit home to hurting hearts.

All in all, it's been quite the journey.  I am thankful for the opportunity to reach those via Facebook that I may never see this side of heaven.  I am grateful for the support of many of you who comment on my page and/or send me notes to encourage.  Mostly though, I am afraid.  I am afraid that this huge responsibility will be overshadowed by my opinions and thoughts rather than being led by those of our Lord.  Yes, some would argue, it's "my blog" and I should be able to write whatever I please.  But this is not so, friends.  

The power to use my talent of expressing what others are also thinking into sentences and paragraphs is one that I do not take lightly.  I used to but I have come quite a ways since June 19, 2013.  Losing my mother and the after-effects of the greatest betrayal I'd ever faced was...it was wrenching.  There was much anger, hurt, and so many mixed emotions going on, not to mention all of the lies and whispers of the devil.  For a while there, I was quite a mess but through this blog and the wondrous grace of God, I was able to work through my grief and loss and see the bigger picture.  God's good that way, isn't He? He allows His children time to mourn and to heal and then, finally, to grow.  To go on.  To see that what happens down here is temporary--even though at times it feels like the pain will never stop.

Writing has been therapeutic for me and I thank God that He has allowed me to share my hurts and achievements with you, dear readers.  As the next year of blogging begins tomorrow, my hope is that I will continue to inspire, motivate, and encourage you all through my struggles and lessons learned so that you too can heal.  You too can let it go (whatever your "it" may be).  My prayer is that you hold on tighter to Jesus than ever before and that you know--you know--He's got you and He's not letting go.  Let's pray together now, shall we?

Oh dear Father, what a joy it has been to write my heart for all the world to see.  Scary, yes.  The risk of ridicule, the fear of no one caring, the taunts of Satan that I was just making a fool out of myself?  All of those emotions ran the gamut of my thoughts, Lord, as I endeavoured to share my soul in hopes of helping someone else through her darknesses.

Lord, as the next year begins, my prayer is that others too will find release and relief in words.  Not just mine (although I hope my readers will multiply and my territory expand).  No, Lord, my real hope is that through Your Word, through Your teachers, through Your singers, and through Your people that more eyes turn to Christ than ever before.  How we need Him, Father!  This world is so crushing at times that it's all some of us can do to take the next breath, to put that one foot in front of the other and keep walking.  And for some, Lord, it's harder still to just stand up and...stand.

Help us, I pray, Lord God, to seek You first in our days.  Remind us with Your songs and with the quotes we see plastered all over Facebook that no matter how rocky the road, You are walking right there beside of us, already knowing what lies ahead.

Finally, Lord, thank You.  You have been so longsuffering with me as I have tried to make sense out of things that just didn't always add up.  You have been gentle with me when I have been petulant.   You have tenderly held me when it seemed no one else cared.  You have been, You are still, so good to me.  Thank You for loving me when others didn't.  Thank You for loving me in spite of myself.  Thank You for being You.  I love You, Lord.  In the name of Jesus I conclude.  Amen.