Paying the Piper

I've been struggling lately with my blog writing.  Not that I don't have much to share but...but maybe I share too much?  I've been studying the Book of Ecclesiastes these past few days and like Solomon, I wonder if it all just isn't vanity.  Sigh.  I watch my "likes" increase each week but...but my "unlikes" have not allowed my page to grow in readership as high as my hopes for it to have risen. .  Like the old adage of taking two steps forward to only fall three steps further behind, I am not seeing the growth of my works, or at least not according to my Facebook statistics.  This troubles me and in some ways makes me feel defeated.

So I've been pondering.  Maybe it's time to stop writing?  Maybe my popularity (such as it is) has waned and it's time to move on to other venues?  Maybe I should keep my thoughts and wanderings to myself and only share when I feel like 'this one' is a really good one?  Maybe no one out there is as messed up as I am and the world doesn't need Wandering Through The Bible--or, if they do, maybe not now.  After all, how many times have I read something written Lord knows when and it's been effective or struck some chord within me?  Maybe I should just let my words sit and hope that one day some soul who needs to read them will happen across them?  I mean, seriously, do I not get notes from folks who found a certain blog I wrote helpful to them--even though it may have been written months or even years ago?

I know I shouldn't care, shouldn't be bothered by this indifference I perceive by the world.  The devil sure tries to get me to be in constant flux with it!  I tell myself and my husband tells me that God will lead to my blog whom He chooses to.  Am I writing it for Him or for the world?  Whom am I to try to assist anyways when I myself am in need of so much wisdom?

So, today I came up with three thoughts and if you are one of the ones who actually is still reading my blog, please respond.  Ready?

1. Are my blogs helping?  Are they useful in your spiritual walk?  Do they compel you to study further things you have believed all of your life but now find yourself needing more clarity about?
2. Are my blogs healing?  Does my sharing of my pains, my downfalls, my finally being able to forgive so many for the hurts that have been caused in my life encourage you to let go of your haunts as well?
3. Lastly, are my blogs hindering you?  The fact that I post so often:  does this cause you to just click on "unfollow" or "unlike" so that they don't appear in your newsfeed?  Is my honesty and continuous learning that I feel so compelled to share getting on your nerves?  

I don't want to be a hindrance.  I don't want to be annoying you and the truth of the matter is that no one is making you read these antics of mine.  No one is standing with a weapon over your heads forcing you to see what mess ol' Stef has gotten herself into this time and read of how even though the Lord has delivered her from it before, she still needs a refresher course.  

All in all, I cannot stop writing.  It's in my blood and it must be purged often or I will just implode.  Nobody wants to see that happen.  So, I leave my writings in your hands.  If you like them, great.  If you don't or can only take me in small doses, that's cool too.  I'm really trying to be useful but I am not the teacher.  Jesus is and He is Whom I am continually learning from.  Sometimes the stuff He teaches me is just too good to keep to myself so...when that happens, Wandering Through The Bible will be here for you.  Most importantly though, God is here in you, the hope of glory, the only One Who can make your wrongs right.  Unfollow me if you must, but please stay on track with Christ.