Wandering Through The Bible : Proverbs 19:23

The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.

Fear. Taylor Swift sings of being fearless. "No Fear" is a popular slogan, as well as a line of clothing worn by many. There was even a 1996 movie entitled "Fear" that had Mark Wahlberg and Reece Witherspoon in it. Oh, let's not forget that horrible tv show "Fear Factor." Yes, friends, I think we are all well-acquainted with fear. Who hasn't heard and/or said these words before: Don't be a fraidy pants?

Fear is defined by Dictionary.com as:
1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Synonyms: foreboding, apprehension, consternation, dismay, dread, terror, fright, panic, horror, trepidation, qualm. Antonyms: courage, security, calm, intrepidity.
2. a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling: an abnormal fear of heights. Synonyms: phobia, aversion; bête noire, bogy, bogey, bugbear. Antonyms: liking, fondness, penchant, predilection.
3. concern or anxiety; solicitude: a fear for someone's safety.
4. reverential awe, especially toward God: the fear of God. Synonyms: awe, respect, reverence, veneration.
5. something that causes feelings of dread or apprehension; something a person is afraid of: Cancer is a common fear.

Last night, I was saddened to read a friend's Facebook status, saying he was basically already doomed for hell so why not go out big? Later, his brother told him he had the condo reserved; to join the party. Ha ha: it's all fun and games until that soul who thinks hell is such a great place finds out it isn't. No parties will be going on; no welcoming group of former friends there to show you around. No continuation of the great life that was lived up here on earth will go on.

I tell you what: my soul is experiencing fear now. See 3 above. My heart is concerned, my mind anxious for these brothers and the oh-so-many folks like them who think heaven and hell are just games, just words, just places. Yes, their safety is in jeopardy and surely to goodness, surely to God, at this stage of their lives they have somewhere along the line heard the truth. Haven't they? Pause. Have they not?

Am I taking for granted that my friends and acquaintances know about Jesus, that they know His story and how He came to save them from an eternity of hell? Am I wrong to assume that because we are half of a century old that someone has at one time or another told them Jesus loves them and they have been walked through the salvation process? When my dad died nearly five years ago, no one knew if he had been saved. My mother liked to think he had been "curious" due to her outstanding witness as a "Christian." My siblings doubted it but a couple of them held out hope that he had been. Friends? He didn't really have any. The funeral was attended to by few, and most of them were family members who thought it the thing to do: to pay respect to those left behind but to not show up before things came to the end. And me? What about me? What part did I have in learning of dear old dad's eternity? I'll tell you.

Years before his health declined but at a time when he was having some issues with it, my husband and I visited with him in the hospital. Without going into my tumultuous relationship with him, suffice it to say I could barely stand to be in the same room as my father, much less show a caring heart towards his eternal resting place. Okay, I admit it: part of me wanted him to die and go to hell because of all the hell he had caused in my life and the lives of others. I felt he deserved it but…But God thought otherwise. He thought it about me and He thought it about him. Through the grace of God, Steve and I talked to my dad about being saved. He told us that he had been, when he was younger, but that he had some questions. Patiently and with a twinge of hope in my heart, I allowed Steve to answer those questions while I nervously sat there, trying to be "good" by praying that this just might be the night things changed for the better.

To sum it all up, we left there, not feeling like much progress had been made. Years went by and still no fruit was shown that we could see. Judge much Stef? Yeah, sadly, I do. But my Bible says believers are known by their fruit. When the tree doesn't produce any, well, then folks are standing around funeral homes, wondering, discussing, and making their own decisions as to that soul's fate who lies there in the casket.

Shouldn't it be known that we are God's children? Shouldn't we have some fruit? Shouldn't our lives reflect fear of God—not the kind where if we mess up He's gonna reach down and zap us but the kind of fear that is reverential, filled with awe, and wonder at how a God like ours would send His Son to die in our place so that we might live eternally, so that our lives down here will reflect His glory, share His love, and tell others of this Great Man Who gave it all?

I'm guilty. I haven't shared with many outside of my little comfort zone the love of Christ. I haven't through my actions and own walk lived a life that showed Jesus shining through it. I've been guilty of not asking my friends if they are saved. Assuming because they say an occasional "I'm praying for you" or "Pray for me that blah blah blah.." Just because someone throws Jesus' Name around in common conversations does not mean they know Him, that they have accepted Him. All those who say, "Oh my God" get on my nerves. I want to reply back, "Oh, so you are saved? Great! That means you are my sister, my brother, that we share the same Father." Somehow though I can't say these words without the sarcasm beating forth. And sarcasm is definitely not one of the fruits of the Spirit!

In conclusion, I apologize. If any of my friends, past or present is reading this, I apologize to you for not showing you the love of God. I am sorry that I haven't witnessed to you in a good way of the grace He has shown to me since saving my soul. If I ever laughed at your jokes of what a fun place hell will be (and yes, I distinctly remember one incident when a friend and I were in college, going for a joyride, and someone asked, "Where are you going?" "To hell," I gleefully responded.) then I am not laughing now. I am ashamed and I fear that my childish ways influenced you poorly. I'm grown up now, and I care for you. With God's help, with God's Words, I want to do better in these next days and show you that I'm not who I was, as Brandon Heath sings.

Am I scared? Oh yeah. I am afraid. This distressing emotion is causing me much apprehension as I wonder if I can love you enough to risk your rejection. My heart is fluttering inside of my chest as your faces pop into my memory. So many faces. Some of you I know well; others I haven't seen in years. What I have to lose though is nothing compared to what you have to gain should you decide to change your lives and live them for Christ. Let's pray.

Dear God, how scared I am right now! Should I even post this devotion, knowing that those whom I hope will read it, will read it indeed? I'm not trying to embarrass them or judge them, Lord. You know my heart and my hope that these jumbled thoughts of mine might point someone towards You. Please let them point someone towards You! Hell is an awful awful place and even though I haven't seen some of these souls in decades, I would like to see them again in glory, as well as this side of heaven. Make me bold, God, and if You can—if I will allow You to-- use me to be salt and light—and a nurturer to the seeds that are being planted all around my world. I want to be fruitful for You. But in myself, God, You know how weak, how timid, how fearful I am. Help me please, I pray. Amen.